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While you don’t often express your thoughts and feelings, I hear the few words you do speak. And after being married for so many years, I have gotten pretty good at interpreting the meaning behind them.

Your words tell me you think you should do more, be more. But I wanted to let you know that you are enough. I know I’ve never said it before, but it’s true. There is no more you could possibly do, no one else you could be that would make you more than you are right now.

I know you think you should work more. Maybe that way you could expand your resume and be promoted to a higher position. Maybe then your role in the workplace would matter, be more important. But your role at home is far more important than the job title you have. You provide, protect, love, and lead. You’ve risen to the top of our household through your promotions to Patient Parent and Doting Dad, and I think those are pretty darn good achievements.

I know you think you should make more money. Maybe then you could provide your family with a nicer house in a nicer neighborhood. Maybe then you could take us on fancy vacations, real vacations that don’t involve road trips to visit family in the Midwest. But the house we have suits us just fine and I happen to enjoy those road trips that take us through some of the most serene and discreetly beautiful places in the country. Those trips bring me peace and satisfaction that no exotic vacation could.

You think you should exercise more. Maybe then you’d look more like one of those guys in the fitness magazines. Maybe then your wife would find you more attractive. Maybe you’d be stronger, healthier, more physically capable than you are now. But I already think you’re the most attractive man around. A man who makes his family his priority, who sacrifices his own desires, who does dishes and sweeps floors. A man who changes diapers and tucks his kids in at night. I can’t think of anything more attractive.

You think you should participate in more hobbies. You worry you’re lazy and that you should do more in your free time. But I happen to think watching TV at night after the kids are in bed is a pretty good hobby to have. It doesn’t require much commitment, or money. It’s relaxing and allows us to spend one-on-one time together. Because we don’t get enough of that, do we? Plus, we have enough commitments taking up our time and money. I can’t think of a better hobby than one that is cheap, noncommittal, and reduces stress instead of adding to it.

You think we would be happier if you were more and did more. But the truth is we are happy just the way things are. You have given us your full commitment. You have given us all of your love, time, and energy. There is nothing more you could do. You are our all and have given us your all. And that is enough. More than enough.

Love,
Your Wife

Jenny Albers

Jenny Albers is a wife, mother, and writer.  She is the author of Courageously Expecting, a book that empathizes with and empowers women who are pregnant after loss. You can find Jenny on her blog, where she writes about pregnancy loss, motherhood, and faith. She never pretends to know it all, but rather seeks to encourage others with real (and not always pretty) stories of the hard, heart, and humorous parts of life. She's a work in progress, and while never all-knowing, she's (by the grace of God) always growing. You can follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

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