So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

Dear Meghan, I’m so sorry.

I’m so sorry you know the gut-wrenching grief of miscarriage.

I’m so sorry you know the heartache of losing a child you didn’t yet know but already loved. 

I’m so sorry you know the physical pain of the actual loss—the bleeding, the hormone crash, the crippling exhaustion, all of it.

I’m so sorry you know the bitter hurt of watching your husband’s heart break in futility and sadness. 

I’m so sorry you know the anger of questioning why your own body betrayed you when it had just this one job. 

I’m so sorry you know the confusing loss of a sibling for your living child, the loss of the memories they were supposed to make together.

I’m so sorry you know the challenge of appearing whole but concealing a jagged heart that somehow keeps beating while a piece of it lives in heaven.  

I’m so sorry. 

I know what it’s like, too. 

Pregnancy loss doesn’t care. 

It doesn’t care if you’re married to a prince or a pharmacist.

It doesn’t care if you live in a palace or a 3-bedroom ranch.

It doesn’t care if you’ve had one baby or four or 14.

It doesn’t care if you jet-set around the globe or make eight Target runs each week. 

It doesn’t care if you’re Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex or Average Mom, Driver of Minivan. 

And if there’s one thing I know deep down in my soul since experiencing my own miscarriage, it’s this: not enough of us are talking about it out loud.

It’s uncomfortable, yes. It’s graphic and painful and heavy and raw. It’s the kind of thing we’re only supposed to acknowledge with hushed whispers and sympathetic glances.

But miscarriage happens to more of us than we could ever imagine—until you start the conversation and realize the truth. 

When I wrote about my own miscarriage, it was like opening a door to a parallel universe I had no idea even existed. It was full of silently grieving parents I knew in “real life”—some of them for decades—but I had no idea they’d experienced loss, too. I heard from dozens of mothers and fathers who talked about their own miscarriages, some fresh and still stinging, others scars faded by the passage of time. 

The common theme? We will never forget.

Those babies—whether they were the size of blueberries or mangoes or full plates of turkey dinners—may have been lost, but they and the way they change us are never, ever forgotten. 

Of course, there will be healing, both physically, and at a slower, more tender pace, emotionally. Maybe there’ll be a rainbow baby in your future or mine. You might experience pregnancy after loss that would undoubtedly reopen wounds but also bring deep joy. I might have a baby who wouldn’t have existed without the loss that came before him.

Life, as it does, as it must, goes on. 

But we will never forget. 

So thank you, Meghan, for saying something out loud. 

Thanks for talking about your own pain so we can confront ours. 

Thanks for reminding us one of the most powerful things we can do for a hurting heart is simply to ask, “Are you OK?”

Thanks for showing us even fairytales have dark chapters—but it’s only part of the story.

Thank you . . . and I’m so sorry. 

Read the NYTimes piece by Meghan Markle where she opens up about the miscarriage she and Prince Harry suffered this summer here.

Carolyn Moore

Carolyn has served as Editor-in-Chief of Her View From Home since 2017. A long time ago, she worked in local TV news and fell in love with telling stories—something she feels grateful to help women do every day at HVFH. She lives in flyover country with her husband and five kids but is really meant to be by the ocean with a good book and a McDonald's fountain Coke. 

When a Rainbow Baby Meets Mama

In: Baby, Loss, Motherhood
newborn baby on mother's chest

This week, one year ago, was one of the most difficult weeks of my life. Fast forward to exactly one year later, and here I am cuddling you, my sweet boy. I never truly understood what “rainbow baby” was all about, but I get it now. Sure, I knew what it meant and what it represented. I had read the articles and heard the stories. I had seen the meaningful images and understood the definition. But I never truly and deeply knew what happens when a rainbow baby meets their mama . . . until you. When a rainbow baby...

Keep Reading

Losing a Child Changes Everything

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Woman at beach sunset

I‘ve had my life planned out since I was a teenager. My dreams were to be a teacher, wife, and mom in that order. I would teach elementary school and have the cutest classroom with the greatest lessons, and I’d teach until I was old and retired. The man of my dreams would sweep me off my feet in college, and we’d have a romantic wedding and start our great life together. Then, after a few years, we would have two children, a boy and a girl. We would be a blissfully boring, happy little family.  I didn’t want extravagant...

Keep Reading

Some Babies Are Held Only in a Mother’s Heart

In: Baby, Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Ultrasound of baby

“Whatever may come and whatever may pass, we have faith that our God will bring us to it and through it.” That’s what I wrote in a post after we announced our third pregnancy. It was the first pregnancy we went public with, but it was the third time we had two positive lines on a pregnancy test. You see, we had miscarriage after miscarriage after miscarriage. We went from surprised optimism to guarded yearning and finally stolen joy. The first baby was nothing more than a what-if before that test. It was a surprise to two people who loved...

Keep Reading

Sweet Child, Thank You for Helping Me Navigate the Pain of Miscarriage

In: Loss, Motherhood
Child playing with mother

You’re far too young to understand the words I’m about to write, but still, I will jot them down so the memory pops up and reminds me (and one day, you) just how much of my rock you’ve been over the past years and especially these past few weeks.  Miscarriage has been an unpredictable mess. One that’s taken about two months to be over. Every week, I dreaded my weekly appointments because seeing all those expecting women there was gut-wrenching. I knew I wasn’t there for such a joyous occasion. Rather, just to check that my hCG levels were steadily...

Keep Reading

“God, Please Put a Baby in Mommy’s Belly. Amen.”

In: Loss, Motherhood
Little girl praying by bed

“God, please put a baby in Mommy’s belly. Amen.” She’s added it to her prayers every night for the past year. Woke up two weeks ago. Didn’t feel well.  Dark positive pregnancy test Shock. Joy. Excitement.  Thank you, God. We’ve all wanted this for so long. My husband jumps up and hugs me. He’s so happy, maybe even more than me, if that’s possible.  Three more positive tests over the next week to double-check. More excitement with each definite positive. A Christmas baby. Pure joy.  A few unusual symptoms. Shrug them off. Telling a few people but not too many,...

Keep Reading

All I Wanted Was For My Baby To Stay Alive

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Sad woman with head in hands

Today is the day I’ve dreaded and resisted for almost a year: the day I face going through the white plastic bag the hospital sent home with me after my D&C, 10 months ago. This bag held my clothes, shoes, and wedding ring for the short time I was in surgery, but I rescued all of those precious items soon after waking. The items that remain show the paper trail of that difficult day—receipts from my hospital admittance and anesthesia, general post-operative care instructions, and a consent form for “treatment of incomplete abortion.” That last part brings tears to my...

Keep Reading

My Husband Makes Me a Stronger Woman

In: Grief, Loss, Marriage
Daddy standing over hospital crib with infant, black-and-white photo

A little over a year ago, my husband and I went through the unimaginable. We lost our child, Lillian, to a congenital heart defect. The days following that, and even to this day, people will comment on how strong I am. How well I’ve dealt with this darkness. How they can’t imagine what I am going through. The truth is I was never alone. From the day we found out I would give birth to a child who had complex heart defects, my husband has been there. Always in the background of what others saw but ever so present in...

Keep Reading

Mothers Don’t Teach Us How To Live Life Without Them

In: Grief, Grown Children, Loss, Motherhood
Woman in dress with corsage, smiling color photo

When you’re a little girl, you dream of marriage, children, a career, and memories that you will cherish forever—and you want your mother by your side at all times. Our mothers teach us how to live a life we will enjoy, but they never teach us how to live a life without them in it. Our mothers don’t tell us that one day they will not be here to answer the phone when we call or go on spontaneous dinner dates. My mother never told me there will come a day when she will be gone and how bad it...

Keep Reading

When Mother’s Day Feels Awkward, Find Comfort in Community

In: Grief, Living, Loss, Motherhood

Mother’s Day can be beautiful for some women. It can be hurt filled for others. Or in my case, it can just feel plain old awkward. I felt eight years of awkward Mother’s Days. In my late 20s to mid-30s, I felt like the woman no one knew what to say to or what to do with. I felt a double whammy on Mother’s Day. My mother was home in Heaven. My womb was empty and always would be. My desire to have a child was filled with an intentional choice to go a non-traditional route to motherhood and was...

Keep Reading

Sometimes Mother’s Day Hurts

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Mother holding baby near grave, black-and-white photo

I see you moms. I see the moms who will never see all of their children together on this earth at the same time. The moms who dread the question, “When are you having children?” or “Will you have any more?” The moms who pray for that second line, month after month. The moms who are seeing that positive test and don’t know how they are going to make this work. The moms who can’t shake the blues or depression, who feel guilty for not feeling happier about their baby. The moms who feel as though they are doing it...

Keep Reading

5 Secrets to the

BEST Summer Ever!

FREE EMAIL BONUS

Creating simple summer memories

with your kids that will  last a lifetime