By Kristin Cilente 
As a former special education teacher and now early intervention therapist, I would be amiss if I didn’t share with you that working in the special education field changed my heart as well as my view of the world, self, others, and I am far from being the only one.
You may worry, as many parents do, that when you let your child go out into the world if they will be loved properly, but as parents, we rarely consider how our kids will affect others being who they are. Children with disabilities are very special gifts.
I’ve read the beautiful poem by Emily Perl Kingsley entitled “Welcome to Holland,” walked beside parents just receiving news of their child’s specific diagnoses, and I am also a mom who went through having a child receive a diagnosis of their own, but that topic is for another time.
It’s so easy for us as parents to feel shame when our children struggle. We think, “What did I do wrong for this to happen? Are people judging me? Was it because of something I did during the pregnancy? How will my child tell me what’s wrong?” The list goes on and on.
It is my experience from the professional side, even before I was a parent, that these judgments we perceive people having are far from true. Some people come into the special education profession because they have a neurodivergent relative, but I did not look for the special education field. The special education field found me. Many parents could say this, too. In some ways, for some of us, dare I say, it just may be a calling.
Originally, I went to college to become an English teacher. I graduated with my degree and then my mentor, who was a director of special services, suggested I take a summer job as a paraprofessional for the extended school year program in her district so I would have some experience under my belt. I fell in love with the special education field that summer in the same way I fell in love my senior year of high school teaching CCD and knew I wanted to be a teacher. This was another piece of the puzzle.
The world is full of interesting dichotomies. I feel one of them is that it looks like we are the ones helping children with “disabilities” as if they desperately need us, but many times, they are the ones helping us. The reality is we need them too. Sure, we help them learn to function, but they help us learn to live. Sure, their brains or bodies may not work optimally, but they help our hearts to understand things we never could before.
As the years went on, I began to see the imperfections I kept so tightly under wraps were just freely shown by the students, and it was a marvel to me. Are you upset? Yell about it! Are you happy? Laugh with abandon! I began feeling more comfortable in my skin. Being able to teach your kids brings so much joy to our days!
I also admired how so many siblings were such caring and understanding children who watched out for their brother or sister with a special need. They seemed to become the kindest kids.
Through the years, I have seen how, countless times, children with disabilities will enter a school and change the people within it so much more deeply than the staff changes them. Please know how loved your child could be rather than focusing on the negative what-ifs.
What if they aren’t going into a school where they will be shaped and changed into being more like others but will be the one doing the shaping and changing of their teachers’ hearts while making some nice friends along the way?
Your child will make just as much of a difference in others’ lives as others will have in theirs. It’s wonderful to watch. After the summer job that changed my life, that September, when I was earning my Master’s certification to be a special education teacher, I took a job in a self-contained classroom as a paraprofessional. There was a boy in the class named *Sean. He was a little boy with Down syndrome. He was such a character! He didn’t speak until he was about seven years old, and suddenly, everything came tumbling out! He would come in and say things to you that were adorable and witty. He made us laugh with his sense of humor. He was just an amazing person to be around and to know.
Every day, he would run down the hall calling for a specific teacher. He just loved her. Sean was not aware, but this teacher was having a hard time in her personal life. You couldn’t stop Sean from running over to her as he yelled her name just to get a hug. He would leave the school lines, cross halls, and push people out of the way just to get to her. He made her a big deal, and you could see the relief on her face whenever he called for her and ran in for that hug.
Your child is needed in this world more than they need therapists and professionals to help them. Children with disabilities love others in special ways that we sometimes cannot see but are like a paintbrush to the heart.
To the parents entrusting their children to a new school this year: Thank you for letting us love them.
*Names have been changed for privacy
by Lauren Cootes 
by Bailey Koch 
by Brynn Burger 
