Stay at home mom (SAHM) depression: the elephant in the room nobody talks about. 

I mean, how DARE you complain after being gifted this opportunity to stay at home and raise YOUR own kids? But it’s not that simple. Of course we SAHMs are being grateful to stay home and raise our young BUT that it’s literally all we become.

No one talks about the isolation.

No one talks about the loss of identity.

No one talks about the loneliness.

No one talks about losing your sense of self.

No one talks about how you had to give up your career because it’s cheaper for you to stay home.

No one talks about how you cry in the shower because your day was overwhelming.

No one understands why you’re tired.

No one understands why you’re irritable.

No one understands why you need a mental break.

No one understands why you’re so aggravated with your kids. 

No one understands why after you’ve been home all day, the house is a wreck still.

No one understands why you just need 5 minutes with no one speaking to or touching you.

No one understands why you’ve lost your sex drive.

No one understands why you’re completely and utterly exhausted, after all, you just sit at home all day. 

No one understands the feeling you have when you are told you don’t have a “real job”.

Most of us were working women at one point. We got to go to a job and interact with other adults outside our home. We contributed financially to our household. (Shoot, most of us want some kind of side hustle or part-time job because it would sure help with financial relief.)

We didn’t feel like an endless maid. We got that break (even though yes, work is a love/hate relationship) that gives you space from the people you live with (children, spouse, etc.) because yes, EVERY relationship needs time away in it to not go crazy being around each other 24/7.

That’s not healthy. Contrary to popular belief. You need a break daily.  

I can’t tell you how many women I meet or know that say, “Oh, you have too much time on your hands. I sure wish I could stay home, I wouldn’t complain.” Good for you!

I can guarantee you will change your mind six months in, unless you’re wealthy and have money to constantly go do things. I once was you. I wished upon a star I could stay home with my kids because I wanted to spend all the time I could. I didn’t realize what all came with being a SAHM. 

“Oh, but YOU chose to have those kids. You should’ve thought about that before having them. If you didn’t want to go through all this, you should’ve never had kids. And you said you want more?”

Seriously . . . yep, heard those all before.

Next time you hear or see a SAHM venting her frustrations, listen and make her feel like she’s somebody. That her struggles are not invalid. 

This article was originally published on Momma’s Tired

You may also want to read:

Motherhood Hid My Depression

Why I Stay Home Even Though It’s Exhausting

What Do Stay At Home Moms Do All Day

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Megan Powell

For those of you who care to know the face behind the name....
I'm Megan, I'm a 32 year old wife & mother from the United States. I have 1 bonus son & 4 son's that I birthed. (Yup! That's 5 BOYS!) Motherhood has humbled me in ways I can't even explain and I'm so thankful because if I wasn't a mother, I don't know where I'd be.
Life hasn't always been easy for me, I mean it still isn't, but it's WAAAAY better than what it once was. I've learned some very hard lessons in life along the way.
I was a full-time working mom with my first 2 children, part-time with my second & full blown SAHM with my last. Lemme tell you!
It's not easy anyway you do it!
So before you think I don't understand, I do! I empathize with people on a whole other level. It's a blessing and a curse. I'm a probably one of the nicest people you'll ever meet
I created Momma's Tired on facebook and started blogging as an outlet for my anxiety and depression. After having my last son back in 2017, I went to a dark place. It was a very traumatic experience for me (which I will touch on later). The main thing I want you to know is, everything I write is 100% from my heart. My feelings put on paper. Even most the memes I post I made myself. If it's not my work or thoughts, I will always cite it to the correct person.