I genuinely enjoy motherhood.
Can I say that out loud?
Everywhere I look, I am surrounded by messages of “raw and real motherhood,” screaming so loudly with tales of exhaustion, decision fatigue, and burnout. This negative message of motherhood seems to have become a badge of honor, and it breaks my heart.
When did it become necessary for women who share a happy photo or tell a happy story to immediately follow it up with the clarification that “it isn’t always this way” or “the kids were screaming right before this!” Why must we publicly speak negatively about our husbands and children in order to be viewed as “raw and real,” and what part of our message is encouraging the dreams of younger women who want to become wives and mothers?
I’m not suggesting we hide the difficult parts of marriage or motherhood, but that we should celebrate the goodness just as loudly.
There is no shame in the struggle.
There is value in sharing the light and the darkness as both joy and pain can coexist. Social media can quickly breed discontentment when we compare our lives to a perfectly curated feed. However, just as quickly, we can be swept up in the current of dissatisfaction and publicly tear down the very people we should be building up the most, simply because it is popular.
I believe we can share the messy, broken, and heartbreaking aspects of marriage and motherhood without masking it in a fake smile.
I also believe we can share the good and seemingly perfect moments without the guilt of being happy and sharing that happiness.
It is exhausting trying to fit the mold.
Let’s just agree to each share our own experiences with marriage and motherhood and leave the mom-shaming comments, saying that’s not real life, behind.
We are all on different parts of the journey. We are experiencing our own, very real realities. Let’s celebrate the highs with each other and let’s support one another through the lows. May the way we speak about our part make other moms excited to get to that stage, not dread it. Every stage of childrearing will have rough parts, but I promise, every stage also has unbelievably magical parts you would never want to miss. Let us be honest about both.
There is more than one way to be a “raw and real” mom. Let’s embrace that.
I genuinely enjoy motherhood, and I hope you do, too.