Everyday is Monday

There are days where I wonder why I signed up for motherhood.

Days that I wonder what my life would be like if had not had kids.

Does anyone else feel that way? I’m guessing yes!

On those days that start late, it’s because I’ve overslept (hit the snooze 3 times to just catch any vanishing sleep). Which means I rush to get the kids ready for school, rush to feed them (Thank you drive thru breakfast!), and yes, I even rush to drive them to school (no bus on our route or for our school!).

So that means I make everyone’s day start late just because I was selfish enough to want to catch a few, if any, of the allotted nightly forty-winks.

You see, that’s the rub isn’t it? Moms are not allowed to be selfish. We put every one’s needs before our own.

Hell, every morning I let the four dogs out to pee, then feed the four dogs all before my first cup of coffee. Then, I brew my first coffee of the day. Gently, I wake up my boys, and go back to my now slightly cool coffee, add some creamer, and go back to wake up my boys more briskly by shaking the bed and ripping the blankets off of them.

Then I run around the house chasing the 4-legged pets who have broken through the gated barricade where I feed them. I run after the dogs who are sprinting to their boys’ beds, where screams, laughter, and cries of pain erupt because one dog has no manners and always steps on “private parts.”

After minutes (which seems like hours) of crazy dog and little boy antics, I have one child coaxed into their school clothes, and the other child I must search for beneath a mountain of blankets while the dogs jump up to my face to get kisses.

By this time, my first coffee is cold. I reheat the coffee in the microwave. I run back to my boys, yelling (and guiding) at them to “getdressedeatfoodbrushyourteethfindyourshoesfindyourbackpackgetasnackeathotlunchthereisnotimeforcoldlunchgetinthecarbecause WE ARE LATE.”

Every morning this is our ritual. It’s not pretty.

And as I run around the house collecting the dogs to put outside for the day, simultaneously getting my boys ready for their day, do I ever try to put a lunch together for me? No.

That’s why God invented VENDING MACHINES. This magic box holds the magical Food Pyramid which sustains the WORKING MOM!

Back to my morning.

We collect our stuff, shove it in the car, wave to the neighbor’s cat who watches us from OUR yard, and squeal out of the driveway like we are the local NASCAR team.

Sometimes (I mean almost every day because I’m a mom and have guilt if my children don’t eat), we drive thru breakfast places, eat in the car, and drive across town to school.

We usually make it to school before the first bell. Which means No Tardy Slip!

Me? I still have a 20 minute drive and tend to sneak into work 20 minutes past my start time.

And there I am. At my desk, breathing heavily because I ran, putting on my make-up at my desk. Who am I kidding- it’s just mascara and lipstick. And by “put on,” I mean that I stab the mascara at my eyes, hoping I don’t blind myself and that I get some on my eyelashes, while smearing lipstick on one lip.

I turn on my computer and remember I left my coffee in the microwave at home.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Articles by Deb Burke

Deb Burke

I grew up in the picturesque town of Madison, Wisconsin. That's the only normal thing about me. I also grew up in a family shoe repair business and soon learned that child labor laws don't apply to family businesses. I left Madison to finish college in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Here I became a spelunker, a cyclist, a mountain trail runner, an avid hot air balloon watcher (much to the dismay of the drivers behind me) and quite the connoisseur of green chili cheese burgers. Eventually, I fell in love, had 2 children, bought a house, and then got married (in that order). Life is certainly crazy keeping up with my two boys!