Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

We all know the story well. Boy meets girl, they fall in love and get married. They have a baby and live happily ever after. But apparently I’ve missed a step….

When our son turned two the pressure really started. I noticed that everyone; friends, family and even complete strangers starting making the comment “time to start trying for the next one.” When I would turn to them and say “oh no, that’s it for us, we’re not planning on having any more,” then it would really start, the lectures. “But you can’t only have one because…” your son will be a spoiled only child, he will be lonely without siblings, it’s so much easier the second time around and the reasons go on. One time, I even had someone tell me that they were concerned that I wasn’t going to have any more children because what if my son died? Then I’d be left with no children. Yep, really.

I find myself trying to justify our decision; well no, he won’t be spoiled because that’s all about how you raise a child not how many you have and no he won’t be lonely because he has lots of cousins and friends his age, and yeah you’re right I should have another kid for spare parts?! And I find myself arguing against the assumptions that they aren’t saying but I know they are thinking. Yes of course I love being a mum, my son is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. No, I didn’t have some kind of horrific birthing experience or horrible sibling that puts me off going there. We are just happy with our family of three and it really is as simple as that.

One friend suggested I should just starting telling people that I can’t have any more children, then that would shut them up. But I can’t, because fortunately for us that’s not the truth. The truth is that this is a decision we have chosen to make. And I could give you many reasons why we aren’t planning on having any more children, they are both logical and emotional, but at the end of the day I’m not here to try and convince you or justify my decisions, that’s not my point. My point is simply this; the decision to have one child, no children or lots of them is a very personal, individual choice. We shouldn’t have to justify it. We shouldn’t have to be judged because of it. I would never dare to sit there and tell someone why they should stop at one child (could you imagine?!) In fact I think people who choose to have more than one child are amazing, I admire them, they are flat out superheroes. So I just really don’t understand why it’s OK for others to lecture me on my choices?

I wonder what it is about our choice to only have one child that seems to offend people so much. Is it because it’s different? Are we as a society still stuck in the mindset that a family has to be made up of a Dad, a Mum and 2.5 children? People tell me I’m missing out on something wonderful, but you know what? My life is pretty wonderful right now. We are happy and content and that’s what matters. People also tell me that we will change our minds, and maybe they’re right, maybe we will and that would be OK. But if we don’t then that should be OK too, shouldn’t it?

Feature Image Source – jamesAnn Photography

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Sarah Bowen

Sarah is a serial worrier and self confessed perfectionist. Mother to a 4-year-old boy and slightly overweight golden retriever. Wife to a man she's known since they were 10. Day dreamer, chocolate fiend, routine and organization lover. Sarah lives outer suburbs of Melbourne, Victoria. Her days are busy, she works part-time in the early childhood field, studies part-time and is a full time Mum. She blogs at where she shares her many tips and tricks that help to make everyday family life fun and easy with a few personal stories thrown in along the way!

Brothers Fight Hard and Love Harder

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two boys play outside, one lifting the other on his back

The last few years have been a whirlwind. My head has sometimes been left spinning; we have moved continents with three boys, three and under at the time. Set up home and remained sufficiently organized despite the complete chaos to ensure everyone was where they were meant to be on most days. Living in a primarily hockey town, the winters are filled with coffee catch-ups at the arena, so it was no surprise when my youngest declared his intention to play hockey like his school friends. Fully aware that he had never held a hockey stick or slapped a puck,...

Keep Reading

Stop Putting an Expiration Date on Making Memories

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and son in small train ride

We get 12 times to play Santa (if we’re lucky). This phrase stopped my scroll on a Sunday evening. I had an idea of the direction this post was going but I continued on reading. 12 spring breaks 12 easter baskets 20 tooth fairy visits 13 first days of school 1 first date 1-2 proms 1-2 times of seeing them in their graduation cap and gown 18 summers under the same roof And so on and so on. It was essentially another post listing the number of all the monumental moments that we, Lord willing, will get to experience with our...

Keep Reading

When Your Kids Ask, “Where Is God?”

In: Faith, Kids
Child looking at sunset

How do I know if the voice I’m hearing is God’s voice? When I was in high school, I found myself asking this question. My dad was a pastor, and I was feeling called to ministry. I didn’t know if I was just hearing my dad’s wish or the call of God. I was worried I was confusing the two. It turns out, I did know. I knew because I was raised to recognize the presence of God all around me. Once I knew what God’s presence felt like, I also knew what God’s voice sounded like. There is a...

Keep Reading

Go Easy On the Parents Who Refuse to Skip Naps

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two little boys and their sister walking down a gravel road, color photo

Greetings from a mom who is done with napping children. It’s great to have the flexibility during the day for longer activities, meeting friends for playdates, or day trips to faraway places. It’s a new life . . . the life without naps. The freedom to make plans and keep them. But not that long ago, I was something very different than the flexible, plan-keeping, up-for-it woman I am today. I used to be the mom who refused to skip my child’s nap. Yep, that one. Here’s the thing, for a lot of parents, It’s so much more than just a...

Keep Reading

My Heart Isn’t Ready for You to Stop Believing in Santa

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy standing in front of lit christmas tree

“My friend doesn’t believe in Santa anymore, Mom,” my son said out of the blue the other day. We were driving in the car, and when I met his gaze in the rear-view mirror his eyes searched mine. Immediately, my heart sank.  This sweet boy, he’s our first. Thoughtful and smart and eight years old. A quick Google search tells me that’s the average age kids stop believing in Santa, but as his mom, I’m not ready for that—not even a little bit.  I can still hear his barely 2-year-old voice going on about reindeer as we lay together on...

Keep Reading

Dear Kids, This Is My Wish for You

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother hugs three kids

To my kids, The world you’re stepping into is unlike anything I experienced at your age. It’s fast-paced, interconnected, and sometimes overwhelming. But within this chaos lie countless opportunities for growth and joy. My wish for you is that you find the perfect balance between embracing the modern world and staying true to yourselves. Change is one thing you can always count on. Embrace it because it’s often the motivation for growth. Embracing change doesn’t mean letting go of who you are; rather, it’s about evolving into the best version of yourself. Remember, you don’t need to have all the...

Keep Reading

Motherhood is a Million Little Letting Gos and Fresh Hellos

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother sitting with child on her lap by the setting sun and water

I missed my grocery-shopping buddy the other day. Mondays are usually the days my littlest and I knock out our grocery list. In the past, we’ve dropped the kids at school and then headed to the store. I grab a latte, and she chooses a hot chocolate. But that day, they were all in school. That day, she sat in her kindergarten class, and I went to the grocery store. Alone. A new rhythm. A changed routine. A different season. I listened to a podcast on the drive. My podcast. Then I grabbed a drink. Just one. I got the...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter, Stay Wild

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and daughter on beach, color photo

I can’t really put my finger on it. Or manage to find all the words. But there’s just something about that girl. Maybe it’s the way her hair sits tangled. Curled up at the end. The way she moves. Dances. As if everyone was watching. Or no one at all. RELATED: There is Wild Beauty in This Spirited Child of Mine It could be the way she smiles. With her heart. The way only she can. The way she cares, loves. For everyone. For herself. You see, she is beautiful in the way only wild things are. The way they...

Keep Reading

You’re Becoming a Big Sister, But You’ll Always Be My Baby

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood
Pregnant woman with young daughter, color photo

The anticipation of welcoming a new baby into the world is an exciting and joyous time for our family. From the moment we found out we were expecting to just about every day since, the love and excitement only continue to grow. However, amidst all the preparations for the new addition, I cannot help but have mixed emotions as I look back at old videos and pictures of my firstborn, my first princess, my Phoebe—for she will always hold a special place in my heart. As the anticipation grows, my heart swells with a mix of emotions knowing we are...

Keep Reading

Cowgirls Don’t Cry Unless the Horse They Loved Is Gone

In: Grief, Kids, Loss
Little girls Toy Story Jessie costume, color photo

The knee of my pants is wet and dirty. My yellow ring lays by the sink—it’s been my favorite ring for months. I bought it to match Bigfoot’s halter and the sunflowers by his pasture. Bigfoot is my daughter’s pony, and I loved him the most. The afternoon is so sunny. His hooves make the same calming rhythm I’ve come to love as I walk him out back. A strong wind blows through the barn. A stall labeled “Bigfoot,” adorned with a sunflower, hangs open and I feel sick. I kneel down by his side as he munches the grass....

Keep Reading