Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day—Neither is a Faith-Based Marriage

A friend once asked me how I keep a faith-based marriage. It wasn’t something that happened overnight, it was a marriage lifestyle we had to cultivate. Jesus’ sermon on the Mount of Olives taught us the values and way of life He wishes for us to live. I use this as inspiration in my marriage to create a Christ-like way of life.

We are taught to have a thirst for righteousness and to humble ourselves. Pride was one of my big sins that was hard to let go of, and today, it still challenges me. Couple’s prayer not only brings us together united with the Lord, it humbled my pride. I was always so afraid to say the prayer out loud with my husband, out of the fear I would say it wrong.

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Praying together allows you to get on the same page spiritually and bring your bond closer to God. This is exactly what marriage is—a union between souls and a Heavenly Father. As you grow closer to God, you become more like Him. This impacts your marriage positively as you are improving yourself as a human being. Becoming more like God is practicing patience, forgiveness, and compassion. These are traits we all need in a successful marriage. 

As Christians, we need to be makers of peace, yet in marriage, it is not always that easy.

We must learn to not always be right and practice making peace. A good way to avoid conflict is to plan ahead. Having a family meeting once a week is not only practical, but it can be spiritually, too. Open your meeting with a prayer and then talk about what you have going on that week and what you may need help with. This way neither partner feels like something has been sprung on them.

We all forget events at some time or another so a reminder never hurts. It also lays out our expectations for our partner for the week, instead of assuming they will do the dishes because you had a late night with friends or make the bed because you are now first out of bed. It makes your expectations clear and gives the other partner the opportunity to discuss if there is something they may or may not want to commit to.

Remember, we are all human, we can only do so much in a day, week, or year. We both need to adopt the mindset of being the peacemaker. Practice compassion, active listening, and focus on communicating well with your partner.

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A good way to show love to your partner while practicing humility is by serving each other.

This could be as simple as doing something to make their day easier or something that brings your partner happiness. I know my husband shows his support by doing the dishes when they get stacked and I am exhausted. I appreciate the recognition of all the work I have done, and I am grateful for the extra hand around the house. If you can’t seem to find a way to make your partner’s day easier you can pray about it or simply ask them. It could be as simple as handing your partner a warm towel when they come out of the shower or making breakfast for two.

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Jesus always served his people and through that service brought people closer to God. We as married couples can serve others and encourage a greater relationship with Jesus Christ, too. Serving comes in many forms. It can be as simple as serving in your family home or as extensive as an overseas mission.

There are hundreds of different missions like the United Way in need of volunteers in your local community, and you can easily apply online. Serving together as a couple brings a greater love for one another and brings us closer to Christ. Helping someone in need to improve their quality of life brings humility and compassion. Meeting new people creates new opportunities for you to minister to others. Remember Jesus said, “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:5).

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither is a faith-based marriage.

I challenge you to try at least one of these examples for 30 days and see how your marriage and relationship with Christ changes.

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Articles by Vanessa Barthelmes

Vanessa Barthelmes

Vanessa Barthelmes is a Christian writer at jadorevanessa.com. Her first book Finding Light - A Journey to Spiritual Fulfillment is due to be released in mid-2020. When Vanessa isn’t writing, you can find her upside-down in an aerial arts gym or on the street hanging off anything that she can.