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I didn’t quite know fear until I became a mom.

Eleven years ago, fear made itself at home in my heart when I held my newborn baby in my arms for the first time. I remember rocking my daughter to sleep at night with tears streaming down my face because I didn’t want God to have control over her life or mine. The lie was fed into my mind that I could do a better job protecting her and myself. I could keep us both safe. I thought I would feel more at peace if I knew I was the one in full control.

I knew in the depths of my bones that God’s got this, but I didn’t fully trust I would be OK with how He had it.

The overpowering need to want to protect the people I love the most caused this fear to take root in my life. I would think about all the what-ifs and try to plan and protect based on what might happen. I stressed about bug bites, food allergies, broken bones, illnesses, sunburns, hurt feelings, kidnappings, death, and anything else you could possibly imagine.

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Although I was never vocal about my fears, I am sure my children could sense and feel the stress oozing from my body. Since I was carrying the heavy weight of all these worries on my shoulders, I often snapped and yelled at the littlest things. It was hard to be joyful and have fun when I was constantly thinking about all that could go wrong.

You know what, God let me do things my way, but He slowly wooed my heart back to Him. I realized I didn’t want to mother my children in my own strength.

I needed Him. Oh, did I need Him.

In my weakness is where I found a deep relationship with God. I found the comfort and peace I was desperate for.

When scary things take hold of our world like the coronavirus, the unknown can throw me right back into straight panic mode, and the pressure to keep my family safe can lead to an intense, overwhelming fear I can’t shake. It takes over my mind, my heart, and all I can think about is the darkness surrounding our world.

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As much I want to revert back to taking the reins away from God and into my own hands, I know that is not the best way. No matter how much the lie is whispered into my ear that I need to be the one in control, I know God’s Word tells me, “He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection” (Psalms 91:4).

Even if His way does not look how I want it to look, I have to rest in the fact that His way is the best way.

During this worldwide pandemic, I remember God wants us to be prepared and awareabsolutely, 100%.

Most importantly, I can’t forget He wants my heart prepared, too (along with my pantry) by trusting in Him. To go to Him in prayer and to speak His Word out loud when fear comes knocking over and over again.

RELATED: Anxiety Says Be Afraid; God Says I Am With You

Our kids are watching who we turn to when life feels uncertain, when we are scared and when plans change. Let’s show them how our hearts are prepared in God. Let’s make sure our feet are steady in Him. Our hearts holding tightly to His truths. Our strength resting in His abilities if and when the hard hits. Remember, God’s got this.

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So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Amber  Palmer 

Amber is a busy mom of two kiddos, wife, and blogger over at My Jars of Clay. When she is not homeschooling her daughter, you can find her writing to encourage other moms and helping them keep their focus on Jesus. Amber enjoys spending her time reading, singing when no one is around, and throwing random dance parties in her kitchen. She loves connecting with other moms in person and over on Instagram.

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