So God Made a Teacher Collection (Sale!) ➔

Friends, I know what you’re used to seeing from me. Usually, I’ve got your back. Usually, I help to take care of you. I say food and childcare are my love languages, and I’m used to loving you well.

When you need help, I’ll schlep your kids across town or let them play at our house for a few hours.

I’ll make a meal for you when you have a new baby.

I’ll remind you that a big project is due for our kids’ class.

If I haven’t heard from you in a while, I’ll touch base to make sure you’re doing OK.

I remember your favorite snacks and will buy them for you just because.

I’ll text you on your birthday, and your kids’ birthdays, and tell you how much you’re all loved.

RELATED: I Miss My Kids’ Friends Too

I send artwork to my kids’ grandparents, and post and print photos often.

When you’re going through something big and scary, or incredibly sad, I’ll show up with a loaf of banana bread and my sympathies.

The truth is, I’m generally a thoughtful person. I’m not used to having to remember to do all of this. I’ve always been one of those people who enjoy my role as a helper. I’m not saying that to brag, it’s just the truth.

But right now? I’m not.

Birthdays pass by that go unmentioned. Dates that are usually seared in my brainthe anniversary of a loss or the day you’re supposed to find out your test resultsslip by unnoticed. The banana bread goes unbaked, and I find myself in the grocery store unable to remember which candy is your favorite.

RELATED: Dear Friend, Even Though We Can’t Be Together, You Are Not Alone

I’m in the midst of a trauma. I know we all are, but for whatever reason, this trauma is breaking me down. I’m not able to do the things I used to do. I’m not able to take care of you.

Instead, I find you taking care of me.

You call me from Target to tell me they finally have butter, and would I like you to grab some for me?

You text me that the snow cone truck is coming by tomorrow and I should place my order before they sell out.

You drop sidewalk chalk and lemons off on our doorstep because you know how quickly we go through both.

You drive by on my son’s birthday with a carton of ice cream, passed off without contact.

You silly string him from your car, eliciting the biggest laugh I’ve seen from him in weeks.

You give me pep talks over Marco Polo or Zoom, and you buy me a bag of Brightside Skittles to remind me to keep my chin up.

You send me dozens of messages throughout the day, checking in or cheering up, consoling or rallying, depending on what I might need most.

RELATED: Dear God, Please Give My Friend Rest

All of this time, all of these years, I thought it needed to be me.

I’m used to being thoughtful, and it always came easily to me. But I’m going through somethingwe all areand my magic power of helping and taking care of others has drifted away. I don’t know where it’s gone, and I’m mourning its loss. I’m hoping it comes back soon.

But until then, I find myself surrounded by your thoughtfulness instead. I remember it’s not always on me. I remember I’m allowed to be the weakest link once in a while. I’ll soak up your love, delivered with sticks of butter and boxes of sidewalk chalk.

And I’ll remember you’re there for me even when I’m not there for you. Even when I’m not there for myself.

And I’ll remember that we will get through this together. That this too shall pass. And that there are warm loaves of banana bread, thoughtfully delivered, on the other side.

Jaymi Torrez

Jaymi Torrez blogs at with her bestie and blogging partner Christine. She has two small children and a super cool husband. Jaymi dreams of five minutes peace and going to the bathroom alone, but can more often be found holding a two year old on her lap while writing about the ups and downs of parenting.

I Love Having a Friend With a New Baby

In: Baby, Friendship, Motherhood
Woman snuggling newborn baby

To my sweet friend with a newborn, Thank you. This stage you’re in is the sweetest, most innocent, and challenging time. The exhaustion and love are overwhelming I know—I feel like I was just there yesterday with my own kids. Only, it wasn’t yesterday. Even though I can close my eyes and remember those precious moments with my own newborns, it feels so far in the past. I love the age my kids are now, but I’m telling you, there’s something magical about those first few weeks of life. When your baby scrunches their body into a ball when you...

Keep Reading

Even as an Adult, It’s Hard When Friends Move Away

In: Friendship
Woman looking out car window

I grew up in an anomaly of a small town where no one moved away. Seriously, I can count on one hand the number of friends who left during my childhood. Granted, most of us hightailed it out of that one-stoplight town as soon as we had our high school diplomas in our hands, but I’ll forever be grateful for the friendships I made there. It never occurred to me how much it would hurt down the road when, as an adult, my friends would move away. RELATED: The Heartache When Your Friend Tells You She’s Moving I remember reading...

Keep Reading

It’s Lonely Feeling Invisible

In: Friendship, Living
Woman standing in kitchen

I’ve never known what’s wrong with me. From such a young age, I’ve never had friends. I was never the girl who was invited to the birthday parties let alone the sleepover after the birthday party.  Now as an adult, I’m not the girl invited for drinks, moms’ nights out, play dates, or even to listen to a pyramid scheme.  RELATED: It’s Lonely Being the B-List Friend I’m not the coworker everyone loves. Or the classmate everyone envies because of her skill. I’m not making waves anywhere I go.  Not even with my own family. No aunt, uncle, cousin, or...

Keep Reading

I’m the New Mom at the Park

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Mother and baby on blanket at park, color photo

I’m the new mom at the park. I woke up this morning with a goal in mind: to visit the park with my daughter. I looked in the mirror and whispered, “I’ve got this” as my 3-month-old slept peacefully. This little house has been a great shelter for this new mom and her baby, but it’s time to venture out.  I’m the new mom at the park. With the stroller filled with way too many things for a 30-minute trip. With the perfectly picked out outfit, hoping to fit in. With the tired eyes and dark circles from waking up...

Keep Reading

If You’re Surrounded by Amazing Women, Tell Them

In: Friendship, Living
Friends in sun at beach

We had dinner at our neighbor’s house last night. While our kids played with theirs, their mom walked in the door from work, “Sorry I’m late! We ran two hours behind with patients all day.” She smiled and picked up her 9-month-old out of his walker, he had just started to fuss. She was still in her scrubs but was smiling in anticipation of picking her drooling, chunky boy up. She set him on her hip and walked over to her stove, stirring the pot on the burner while asking her older child how his day had been. I sat...

Keep Reading

Introverts Make the Best Friends

In: Friendship, Living
Two women having coffee at home

I was having a heart-to-heart with a precious friend last week, and she shared something so profound with me that it immediately brought tears to my eyes. I’ve since shared it with a few others, and they too were brought to tears by the sheer beauty of the analogy. I asked her if she would be OK with me sharing her words and she said yes . . . so here is my rendition and thoughts on a truly life-changing moment for me. This has been a hard season for me. I chose to step away from a path I...

Keep Reading

Dear Friend, I Don’t Want To Lose You

In: Friendship
Two women smiling, color photo

I’m sorry I don’t text you like I should. I’m sorry I don’t call you like I should. I’m sorry I don’t check in to see how you are. I’m sorry this friendship can feel one-sided at times. I’m sorry I’m so distant. The truth is I’m struggling. I’m struggling with life. I’m struggling with finances. I’m struggling with trying to please everyone and do everything. RELATED: Check on Your “Strong” Friend, She’s Faking it The problem is I try to please everyone—everyone who doesn’t matter. My problem is I’ve gotten so content with our friendship that I know you’ll...

Keep Reading

Not All Friendships Are Meant for Forever

In: Friendship
Sad woman looking at phone

There are friends for a reason, a season, and a lifetime. When we embark on a friendship, we have high hopes that those beginning seeds will blossom into forever. But the time and nurturing required of that kind of friendship is reserved for a few, special people who mesh into our souls and lives seamlessly year after year. There are reasons friendships are short-lived, and those are often obvious. Maybe it was to fulfill a need for you—whether physically or emotionally. These relationships are short, usually sweet, and the ending comes as swiftly as it began.  RELATED: Our Friendship Was...

Keep Reading

This House is Far From Perfect, But its Doors Are Always Open

In: Friendship, Living
Partially painted wall, color photo

This is my kitchen and dining area in all its unfinished glory. Just one project of many that I don’t have much time to work on but am working away at, little by little. I’m tempted to feel embarrassed about it and not want people to see it. However, I also want to regularly invite people into my home, and I believe hospitality is very important no matter what the state of your home is. I’ve decided I won’t let a messy house, dog hair, or unfinished projects keep me from having people over. Because it’s not about the house...

Keep Reading

I Want to Be a Friend Who Listens

In: Friendship, Living
A group of friends smiling at the camera, color photo

“So then, the kids were so out of sorts since they had stayed up late, that I just totally lost it and . . .” “Oh my gosh, I know! Mine were the same way Saturday night! Everybody was crying and . . .” And no one was able to finish their story. Sound familiar? As a person who likes to talk, a lot, I’m guilty of this conversation style. I get stuck in my own head, and I fail to listen. When a friend is telling a story, I immediately have the thought, “Yes! Me too! Same here!” and...

Keep Reading

Get our FREE phone wallpaper to encourage you as the new school year begins

It's bittersweet for a mother to watch her child grow—but you both are ready to soar.