By Joy A. Mead 
It was a damp morning when we arrived in the UK after a week with my parents in the US. My family and I were about to collect our luggage when my phone pinged—it was my childhood best friend back in California, and she was thoroughly disappointed with me.
Astonished and barely awake, I realized my immediate response was needed. The whole drive home, I had an anxious heart. I knew exactly why she was upset with me; however, I felt equally frustrated that she lacked grace.
With regular annual trips between San Francisco and London, I had always been available to see family and friends, especially my childhood best friend. But somewhere along these journeys, I started to recognize the physical, emotional, and mental strain accumulated from trying to schedule numerous gatherings. I desperately wished to have a vacation from it all when we returned home.
After the lull in travel during the pandemic, we finally made it back to the US for an Easter visit. I was grateful to see American friends and family again. My stress levels did rise with trying to organize get-togethers, but there was more tolerance for having not traveled for so long.
With a week off school the following October, we decided to book tickets to California again, but this time we would focus on time with my parents and rest as a family of four. It was a lovely, special trip that gave me freedom from coordinating any get-togethers.
It was absolutely what our family needed, and I fully appreciated having this special week. However, I made one foolish error: making a few social media posts while in California, which is how my best friend learned I had been in town but had not made contact.
In hindsight, I should have skipped posting to social media altogether that week.
Was there a good reason for it? Well, yes. I was back on social media after a two-year break and was trying to build an online presence before my debut book launched just months later. Was it the right thing to do considering my best friend’s feelings? No, not at all.
Back home in England, I immediately contacted my childhood best friend, asking for forgiveness for my insensitive postings and for neglecting to see her on our October trip. I was hoping to be forgiven and reach an understanding—after all, I had just seen her six months earlier over Easter.
Instead, I was dismissed without sympathy. From her perspective, I had failed. We exchanged a few more messages, but unfortunately, we never came to an understanding. Some Christmas cards and birthday gifts to the children were still given, yet it was evident our lengthy friendship was dwindling.
For a couple of years after that, I struggled to grasp how one choice to prioritize my family and parents over friends could cause such damage. I’ve had moments of feeling like it was all my fault, but then I dug deeper.
I’ve lived overseas for 15 years now, having left San Francisco as a newlywed to start life in a new country. I’ve been back to California at least 14 times during my absence and have seen my best friend on every visit except two. Sadly, she’s never made it over to see my life in the UK. And in our last years of visits, only small talk and nothing of true substance remained in our conversations.
God has helped me to understand that some friends don’t journey with us forever, and that reality can be challenging to grieve and accept.
Did I do things I’m not proud of? Yes.
Could I have made more effort to be a better friend? Absolutely.
Was the breakdown of our friendship entirely my fault? No.
The truth is that time, distance, and life circumstances do often change us and our friendships.
My best friend and I had started to drift long before that last trip and the upset I caused.
Over time, God has taught me thankfulness for every friendship along my journey. I will always have fond memories of my childhood best friend because those years shaped me, and I am equally at peace with the fact that our lives have diverged in different directions.
You see, God has a unique plan for each of us, and He provides friendships in various seasons. The ones from my past, present, and those yet to come are all part of my journey.
As grievous as it can be to lose friendships, I am convinced that nothing is wasted in God’s kingdom. He knew my best friend and I needed each other for a certain season in our lives. For now, we need to carry on separately. I am trusting her to Jesus without any grudges, thankful for the formative years we shared, and wishing her God’s peace for the rest of her journey.
And when I haven’t been the friend she has needed, I trust that God is her closest confidant and is supplying her with the right friends in her current season.
God’s provision for me has been abundant, and I know my ultimate friend is Jesus. For He is the dearest friend any of us could have, and is always traveling with us on life’s adventurous journey.
by Cat Borg 
by Pamela Palmer 
by Shannon Whitmore 
