Shop the fall collection ➔

To you, the man weighed down by childhood and combat trauma . . . the man in whom I invested 7 years . . . the father of my children:

I see you fighting a war that did not end for you even after you exited the military.

I fought alongside you for your medical needs at the VA.

I took on being your admin with all the piles of paperwork that military life accumulates.

I helped you study for your college degree for the post-military career, when most had completed it years ago.

I sought to be gracious with you when the brain that had been jostled by IED explosions did not seem to work as efficiently as your young mind once did.

I was your biggest cheerleader as you navigated life as a civilian, with newfound goals that didn’t include rank promotions or airborne school.

I strived to listen intently to your past, not seeing it as baggage, but as your story.

RELATED: “Not Everyone Who Lost His Life in Vietnam Died There.” Veteran’s Obituary Written By His Brother Will Take Your Breath Away

I was careful to wake you up without shaking you while taking a step back myself. At the restaurant, I would always leave you the seat that had its back against the wall.

I did my best to hold back a retort when you were easily aggravated while taking the trigger out on me.

I held in my pain when you secluded yourself and attempted to drown out the memories.

I distracted the kids with fun activities when your demons were getting you down more than usual.

I explained to the kids that Daddy sometimes needed space, and that they had done nothing wrong.

I made a mental note of the anniversaries of your buddies’ deaths, which haunt you every year.

I saw a man who would do anything for his wife and children, a man who had a vision filled with purpose, despite his struggles.

RELATED: Their Eyes Have Seen What No Man’s or Woman’s Should

I saw your heart, with all the rough edges.

But I bid you goodbye.

Because I lost myself trying to save you.

Because you stopped doing the work for yourself.

Because your demons overtook you too many drunk nights.

Because you sought out satisfaction in another woman’s affections.

Because to you, my efforts were not good enough.

Because my safety and our children’s well-being is paramount . . . I bid you goodbye.

But I pray you find your healing.

I leave you still hoping– for your sake, for our girls’ sake– you find yourself.

And please know you have many more than just me to walk with you on the path to wholeness . . . if you choose.

A Cogent

I am a blessed single and working mama to two little girls, who are 18 months apart in age. Vocationally, I am a medical laboratory scientist; however, my favorite hobby is writing, highly influenced by my journey as a mom navigating beyond various traumas in my life. My sole purpose is to reach the one person who needs to know she is not alone.

I am a Veteran’s Wife

In: Marriage
Man and woman smiling

I have heard many stories and experiences regarding being in a relationship with or being married to an active-duty soldier or Marine. What to expect during deployments, living in on-base housing, preparing the kids for deployments, and so on and so forth. Also, basically living as a single woman while your spouse is gone. There is a never-ending supply of support groups (online and real-life) and resources easily available if you’re with someone who is active duty. What I haven’t heard that much about is being in a relationship or married to a military veteran. What to expect in the...

Keep Reading

Dear Military Spouse, I See You

In: Journal, Relationships
Dear Military Spouse, I See You www.herviewfromhome.com

Dear military spouse,  I see you.  I see you counting down the days until he’s gone for basic training. I see you proudly by his side after he graduates. Sometimes I see you head to the courthouse for a quick wedding so you can stay by his side. I see you uproot your life and leave your family and friends to follow him to base after base, town after town, state after state, and sometimes, country after country. I see you making each new place a home as you join local military family groups, find activities for your kids, and...

Keep Reading

Remember the Fallen

In: Inspiration, Journal, Living
Remember the Fallen www.herviewfromhome.com

Near the small community of Weissert, and across the road from our ranch, sits the tiny country plot of land known as “Lone Tree Cemetery.” Established in 1883 by the early settlers in our valley, it tells the story of generations upon generations of our first Nebraskans and those who were dedicated to the establishment of Agriculture in Nebraska, and many a fallen war hero. This time of May is one of the most beautiful in our part of Nebraska. The blooming of the summer lilacs provide one of my favorite scents and sights. They also serve as a reminder of...

Keep Reading