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I was the girl.

I was the girl who’d do anything to get high as a teenager.

I was the girl who craved love and just wanted to be wanted.

I was the girl who wasn’t afraid of anything.

I was the girl who stopped believing there was a God.

I was the girl who said I would never go back to church.

I was the girl who was certain none of it was real anyway because I was wasting my time going places like that. I was the girl who let the heartache and disappointment of this old world steal who God had created me to be. I was the girl who mocked worship and owned a heart full of rebellion.

RELATED: To the Christian “Bad Girl” Who Wonders if She Belongs

Until the night I became the girl who found herself on a bathroom floor begging for her life. I screamed help! But no human could help me. I was in trouble. I was the girl who reached a place of extreme desperation for one more chance to live.

That’s when I became His girl.

I remembered my little grandmother singing, “Yes, Jesus loves me” over me as a child. He picked me up off the floor, dusted me off, restored me, and gave me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

He showed me that He really loved me.

That’s when I gave Him my yes!

Now, I’m the girl who lifts her hand in church where I attend weekly with my husband and four babies at an altar. Because I can’t make it one day without Jesus.

Now, I’m the girl who could never be convinced that Jesus isn’t real.

Now, I’m the girl who is filled with the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:38).

Now, I’m the girl who has been so blessed beyond measure, and it’s only by His grace I have what I have. I have a godly husband who honors me and keeps me safe, four precious boys, a beautiful home, a small business I started last year, and most of all . . . peace of mind.

RELATED: God Doesn’t Need You To Hide Your Past

Now, I’m the girl who has written her first book to share my story and all of the many things I’ve stored in my heart for so long. My prayer is you share it with someone who truly needs it. My prayer is that every person who reads it knows they are loved, wanted, chosen, and they belong to someone. 

Originally published on the author’s Facebook page

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So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

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Amber Adcock

Hello! I’m Amber Adcock. A writer, aspiring author, wife to my best friend, and mama to four amazing boys! I want to encourage women who are in the trenches of motherhood and help those who especially have had childhood trauma to heal from it. 

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