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I see you trying to keep your head above water every day, trying to juggle all of your responsibilities, have time for things you want to do, time for self-care in a world that glamorizes it, to meet the needs of your other kids, your husband, and have a social life on top of therapies, IEP meetings, meltdowns, evaluations, working with your child one-on-one, and just all the additional stresses that come with this life. There are too many to list, but if you know you know. 

I see you wondering if you’re doing enough for your child when you are doing so much, and you’re just trying not to lose yourself in the chaos. 

RELATED: When They Say “I See You, Special Needs Mom”

Yes, I see you, and there’s something I want to say to you. 

I know this isn’t how you pictured your or your child’s life.

But listen, it’s okay to grieve the parenting experience you thought you would have, and the life you pictured for your child. If there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout this journey it’s that grief and joy can coexist. That saying is very true. 

The other day I scrolled past a quote on social media that said, “You have to learn to let go of what you thought life would look like and find joy in the story you’re living.” And it hit home for me. 

You see, growing up I always had a perfect picture of how my life would look. I would get married, we would have kids, we would both have great jobs, we would have everything we wanted, everything would be perfect, and we would live happily ever after.

Although life didn’t turn out how I planned, I am learning to find beauty in the life I’m living. 

When we get pregnant, we expect our parenting experience will look like everyone else’s. Your child will go to daycare and then school, make friends, play sports, go to college, and go on to live successful lives. 

RELATED: When the Diagnosis Comes, Your Strength Multiplies

But when you’re child is diagnosed or born with special needs, you start to wonder if their lives or your life will ever look like all of the others.

But here’s the thing: maybe it’s not meant to.

God doesn’t make mistakes. Inclusion was important to Him. There were characters in the Bible with disabilities, and God used them to do His work. He’s the same God yesterday, today, and forever. Your child is exactly who they are meant to be, and you are meant to be their parent. 

So let go of what you thought your life would look like and find joy in the one you are living. There is so much beauty that is underneath the ashes of the plans we had for ourselves. There will be hard days, but on those days look up and remember whose daughter you are. You got this momma. We’ve got this. 

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Brittany Marie

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