I am not the mother I thought I’d be.

I was going to bring fun and magic to every moment. What I didn’t know is that sometimes after a long day at work, and cooking dinner and running baths, I wouldn’t have any fun and magic to give. 

But He knew. 

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I was going to be patient and softly spoken. What I didn’t know was how patience wears thin after asking your little person to put on their shoes 1,157 times and that my voice would raise a little each time. 

But He knew. 

I was going read a story every single night, tuck them snuggly into bed, sing a lullaby, and kiss them gently on the head.

What I didn’t know was sometimes I would be so drained by the end of the day that I would skip the book and miss a verse of the song just so I could put my head on my own pillow that little bit sooner. 

But He knew. 

I was going to be so many things. I was going to be perfect.

I didn’t know I couldn’t be perfect. 

But He knew. 

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He knew I couldn’t be perfect. 

He knew I would mess up sometimes. 

He knew my flaws and my weaknesses. 

He knew what kind of mother I would really be. 

He knew all this and still, He placed these two precious babies in my arms. 

Remember mommas, your children were given to you by Him. 

Knowing you are imperfect. 

Knowing you would sometimes fail. 

Knowing all your flaws. 

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And still, He gave them to you. 

On purpose and for a purpose. 

And when we are lost, tired, and empty, we must always turn back to the Father. He will keep on giving. He will fill you up. He will guide you. He will mold you into the mother He knew you would be.

I am not the mother I thought I’d be.

But I am the mother He intended me to be.

Originally published on the author’s Facebook page