Dear Mama, Your Heart is Built For This

Hey mama,

I see you there, super pregnant and super emotional. I know you’re worried. I know you’re spending countless hours at night, lying in bed, agonizing over what the future months will bring. You’re out of breath, uncomfortable, and feeling larger than ever. Add in the anxiety of this big life change that’s approaching, you’re more stressed than ever. 

I’m here, your future self. 

I’m here to tell you everything is going to be just fine. In fact, it’s going to be better than it ever was. 

In just a few weeks, you’re going to welcome your second baby into the world. 

You’re stressing over how you’ll divide your attention.

You’re wondering how you’ll love another tiny human as much as you love your first.

You’re thinking about how in the world you’ll juggle it all when some days it already feels like a circus.

You’re constantly anxious about the changes ahead. 

But there’s no need to be because here’s what will really happen.

You’ll deliver your baby and the very second you lay eyes on him, you’ll know he was meant to be in this world. You’ll see that he was the missing piece to your family you didn’t even realize you needed. That love will come just as easy because your heart is already built to make room. I know you’ve heard this testament a hundred times from mamas who have multiple children. But this one, this one is true. 

RELATED: There Will Always Be Room in a Mama’s Heart For One More

You’ll see your husband fall in love all over again with another tiny human you created together. Just more proof of the stunning life you’ve built. Your husband will never be in more amazement of you than he is when he watches you go through childbirth, so soak it up. You’re a warrior. 

But that’s not all. It gets even better! 

Just wait until your first baby comes to meet her sibling.

You never had a brother or sister, so maybe that played a part in your distress. You didn’t realize the instant bond siblings have. 

There are so many thoughts going through your head in the moments leading up to this meeting.

Will my daughter be jealous?

Will she think she’s been replaced?

What if she cries?

Let your mind rest mama, because none of that will happen. 

Your daughter comes barreling into the hospital room, and she doesn’t even glance at you. Her eyes are focused on her new baby brother. She’s only just turned two but you can tell she understands her new responsibility. She instantly wants to protect him. 

He’s only been in the outside world a day, maybe two, but you can already tell your worries were unfounded. 

Sure, things will take some adjusting. You’ll have to find a new normal at home. But I promise that won’t take long. Before you know it, you won’t remember a time from before. 

That sounded sad. You will remember. But it’ll just make you appreciate more.

You’ll appreciate when the baby is napping and you get to spend quality time with the toddler. You’ll soak up every last moment, even harder. You’ll hold your first and reminisce on the time when they were just a baby themselves. You’ll breathe in that baby smell of your infant.  You’ll try your best to memorize his tiny fingers and toes. Finding this new normal has made you see just how fast time passes.

RELATED: Dear Firstborn, As We Adjust To a New Baby

Fast-forward about a year, and things have gotten even sweeter.

Your kids are playing together. Sure, they’ve probably already started to fight and bicker over toys. But you don’t look at that as a stress, you look at it as them learning how to work out their problems. 

OK, sometimes you do. But those are the days you sneak a glass of wine after dinner. Or the middle of the day, I’m no mom-shamer.

But there’s going to come a day when the most important moment of all happens. Picture this.

You’re cooking breakfast and you hear tiny laughter. Two little voices interacting. You sneak into the other room to see what’s happening. You tiptoe in so they don’t spot you. 

And what you see makes your heart immensely happy.  

It’s the time you realize all the things you’ve given these two children.

You’ve given them a lifelong friend.

You’ve given them someone to confide in.

You’ve given them someone to always take their side. 

You’ve given them someone who will forever protect them.

You did that mama. You sacrificed your body and mind twice to give this incredible gift to your first child. Celebrate it.

RELATED: I Sacrificed My Body To Make Room For You

So past-me, here’s what I hope you’ll take from this letter . . . 

You’ll have more confidence this time. There’s another mom judging a parenting decision you made? Oh well, she must be perfect.

You’ll have less anxiety this time. Your toddler just shoved a cracker in the baby’s mouth? No big deal, you got this.

But most of all, your heart is built to embrace this new life.

You’ll become more hopeful, more full of faith, stronger, and more patient. 

Before long, you’ll see this has made you grow. It’s made your husband grow. It’s made your toddler grow. 

You’ll be forever grateful for the overwhelming joy this baby brought you all. 

With love,
Future You 

Previously published on the author’s blog