The inevitable has finally happened; my son wants to date. Wait, wasn’t it just yesterday that I celebrated my son’s 3rd birthday… complete with a cupcake to the face and streamers? Didn’t we just take his first day of middle-school picture off the fridge?

But now, he’s entered high school and things are so, so different. His athletics locker room smells like the cafeteria’s expired cheese selection and at times, his communication skills are akin to primal syllables… especially when an early alarm fails to rouse him up and out of bed.

And there are girls. Girls are no longer yucky or buddies, they are something that crashes over your son’s heart with an uncontrollable amount of force, with feelings he can’t yet fully comprehend.

So, to the girl who is going to date my son, I’m writing to you because you are going to be spending time with someone who is my everything. I too love him more than you can imagine. I want you to know this….

 

  1. He is just a boy. Do you remember your first day of kindergarten? Or getting your braces off? As much as you can remember these rights of passages, remember that he too is crossing over between a child and a man. He may have big muscles but he cannot even drive you on a date just yet.
  2. I will be protective of him. I cannot help it. It’s my role as a mother to coach, guide and protect my son. Thank you for honoring my position as someone who has a few years left as his authority figure.
  3. Hold onto your dreams! Teenage love whips around like the winds of a hurricane and it’s easy to get swayed into everything HE likes or thinks. Trust me, when he was 3 he was going to be a fireman so whatever he thinks now, he’ll probably change his mind a few more times.
  4. Don’t ask more of him than he can give you. God has to be your source of feeling valued. Your relationship with your heavenly father and your natural father has to be enough that my son’s adoration is simply icing on the cake. He’s navigating sports, rigorous academic demands and learning how to navigate additional responsibility, WITH unpredictable and raging hormones. He will not have time to fill your emotional bucket.
  5. You deserve respect. Listen carefully to me. I can talk until I’m blue in the face to him about respecting a girl and God’s plan for purity, but your behavior has a lot of influence on him. How you dress, speak and act says a lot about how you want to be treated; none of this mixed message stuff; teenage boys can’t understand what you are trying to say. Take dating slow, sweetheart, because you can never go back and undo your heat of the moment decisions.
  6. Don’t sneak around. Partner with each other to bring out the best in one another. There’s so many great things ahead for the both of you and although I’m scared to death that my son is dating, it will go a whole lot easier if y’all are honest about where you are and who you are with. I tell my son, “Telling the truth is the easiest thing to remember and eventually, I’ll find out anyway.”
  7. Be honest with him. If it’s not working out, please don’t string it along. Have a face to face conversation and move on. Do NOT end it via a note or text or worse yet, move along without letting him know.
  8. Know that I am praying for you. I’ll be honest—in the beginning I didn’t want to like you because I am not ready to face this. I’m not ready for my son to give his heart to someone else. I’m not ready to put all my faith in God and pray that you two will make good decisions when you are together. I’m petrified that you will break his heart. BUT, I’m trying. Please know that I’m on your side. I was a young teenage girl once too. So I’m praying for you. I’m praying you’ll feel honored and cherished and respected and full of joy when you are with my son. I’m praying that your relationship with God is first, your parents second and my son third. I’m praying you’ll bring out the best in him, and even motivate him to go after his dreams just as we are. I’m praying that you enjoy this time for what it is, not take yourselves so seriously and have some great adventures together on this thing called life.

 

Love,

Your Boyfriend’s Mom.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Erin Turnley

Erin Turnley is a writer, speaker, wife and momma residing in the Austin, TX area.    She’s fueled by coffee, Diet Coke and a passion for using the written and spoken word to encourage and impact women on their God-given path.  

Dear Dad, I Pray for Our Healing

In: Faith, Grief, Grown Children
Back shot of woman on bench alone

You are on my mind today. But that’s not unusual. It’s crazy how after 13 years, it doesn’t feel that long since I last saw you. It’s also crazy that I spend far less time thinking about that final day and how awful it was and spend the majority of the time replaying the good memories from all the years before it. But even in the comfort of remembering, I know I made the right decision. Even now, 13 years later, the mix of happy times with the most confusing and painful moments leaves me grasping for answers I have...

Keep Reading

God Redeemed the Broken Parts of My Infertility Story

In: Faith, Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Two young children walking on a path near a pond, color photo

It was a Wednesday morning when I sat around a table with a group of mamas I had just recently met. My youngest daughter slept her morning nap in a carrier across my chest. Those of us in the group who held floppy babies swayed back and forth. The others had children in childcare or enrolled in preschool down the road. We were there to chat, learn, grow, and laugh. We were all mamas. But we were not all the same. I didn’t know one of the mom’s names, but I knew I wanted to get to know her because she...

Keep Reading

God Has You

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman hugging herself while looking to the side

Holding tight to the cold, sterile rail of the narrow, rollaway ER bed, I hovered helplessly over my oldest daughter. My anxious eyes bounced from her now steadying breaths to the varying lines and tones of the monitor overhead. Audible reminders of her life that may have just been spared. For 14 years, we’d been told anaphylaxis was possible if she ingested peanuts. But it wasn’t until this recent late autumn evening we would experience the fear and frenzy of our apparent new reality. My frantic heart hadn’t stopped racing from the very moment she struggled to catch a breath....

Keep Reading

My Husband Having a Stroke at 30 Wasn’t in Our Plans

In: Faith, Living
Husband and wife, selfie, color photo

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV) This verse in the book of Jeremiah has long been a favorite of mine. In fact, it’s felt relevant across many life events. Its simple, yet powerful reminder has been a place of solace, perhaps even a way to maintain equilibrium when I’ve felt my world spinning a bit out of control. In this season of starting fresh and new year intentions, I find great comfort in knowing...

Keep Reading

She Left Him on Valentine’s Day

In: Faith, Marriage
Husband kissing wife on cheek, color photo

“Can you believe that?” Those were the dreaded knife-cutting whispers I heard from across the table. I sunk deeper into my chair. My hopes fell as everyone would forever remember that I had left my fiancée on Valentine’s Day. Maybe one day it would just dissipate like the dream wedding I had planned or the canceled plane tickets for the Hawaiian honeymoon. Some bridesmaids and guests had already booked plane tickets. It was my own nightmare that kept replaying in my head over and over again. I had messed up. Big time. To be honest, if it made any difference,...

Keep Reading

God was In the Room for Our Daughter’s Open Heart Surgery

In: Faith, Motherhood
Child's hand with IV

I’ve had a strong faith for as long as I can remember, but I always felt bad that I never had a “testimony.” I had never gone through something that made me sit back and say, “Wow, God is real, He is here.” I have always felt it to my core, but no moment had ever stopped me dead in my tracks to where there was no denying that it was God. And then, that moment happened to me on December 5. After five months of fervently praying for a miracle for our daughter, the day came for her heart...

Keep Reading

A Benediction for the Worn Out Mother

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman leaning against kitchen counter, black-and-white photo

Blessed are you, Father, for bestowing upon me the honor of motherhood. For allowing me to experience the deep joy of bringing forth life—a joy I often take for granted and instead choose to begrudge. My children’s cries and demands have worn me down. I do not recognize myself. I selfishly long for the old me. My thoughts are an intangible mess of never-ending tasks, self-criticism, and comparison to those around me. RELATED: God Sees You, Weary Mama But Your word says you are near to the broken-hearted and downtrodden. You do not forget the cause of the tired and the...

Keep Reading

God Doesn’t Forget You When You’re Lost and Unsure

In: Faith, Living
Woman looking into camera, color photo

I’ve been wandering around feeling lost for over a year. Wondering where I’m going, what I’m supposed to be doing. Nothing seems to make sense. I felt purposeless. I felt stuck. I questioned everything: my faith, my marriage, my career—if it could be questioned, I doubted it. And I was completely clueless how to fix the funk. For over a year, I’ve been in the wilderness. I’ve wanted to find my way, but every path seemed like another dead end. The wilderness. I’ve been residing there. Not feeling fed. Not feeling heard. Not feeling seen. Struggling to find a purpose....

Keep Reading

And Then, the Darkness Lifts

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother with baby smiling

Today when I woke, it had lifted, like sunshine peeking after rain. And as my toddler clicked on the lamp beside my bed to see her mama, I saw me too. I got out of bed and I walked down the hall. And the coffee pot sat there waiting for me, as always, like my husband at the kitchen table with his books. He smiled at me, and I think he could tell as I took my medicine, took down a mug, and poured my coffee. I opened the secretary desk and pulled out the chair and my Bible, like...

Keep Reading

Joy in This Stillness

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding sleeping toddler, color photo

I woke up suddenly in a sweat while it was still dark. Except for the humming of the oxygen machine, the house was silent. For a moment, I thought I might have time to enjoy a cup of coffee before my son woke up. However, a glance at my daughter’s crib told me that feeding my caffeine addiction would have to wait. My daughter has a terminal brain disorder called Lissencephaly, a side effect of which is uncontrolled epilepsy. Many mornings, a subconscious recognition that she is having episodes of repeated seizures rouses me from my sleep. Throwing on a...

Keep Reading