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Have you ever gotten to the point where you are so comfortable with life, that in a blink of an eye something has been taken away from you? That’s a definite reminder that we take life for granted ‘everyday.’ God has a reason for everything. It is not up to us to put the pieces of the puzzle together. He has the pieces placed right before our eyes.
In life, there are some things we want to see and some we don’t.
For example: we want to see ourselves succeed and grow in our career, we want to see where our parenting will take us and how it’ll model our children, we want to vision our marriage at 25 to 50 years, we have seen our children born and grow from infants to toddlers, to adolescents, to tweens, to teens and finally adulthood, etc.
Then there are the lesser things we wished we had never seen. For example: raising a child as a single mother, adultery, divorce, death of a loved one, natural disaster, miscarriage, bankruptcy, failing, illness (cancer, disease, etc.), etc.
But those things we have seen, whether good or bad does not mark us as a person. But rather lessons learned in life. It is those experiences that strengthens us. Those experiences that forces us to help others so we can recover and heal.
You can either let it make you or break you. The choice is yours. But I choose to always press forward; to outweigh the negatives with every positives. My loss is no greater than anyone else’s. My faith has strengthened so much since the death of my mother and brother. So to that, Satan will have no power over me! And knowing by the grace of God that He will get me through anything that my eyes will see.
Maya Angelou once quoted: ‘We are only as blind as we want to be.’ How true! Just don’t be so blind that you forget how to live… with hope, grace and mercy from our heavenly father!
“There are things we don’t want to happen, but have to accept. Things we don’t want to know, but have to learn. And people we can’t live without, but have to let go.” ~Anonymous
A friend came up to me the other day after church and commented, “I’ve never seen you alone. I had to make sure you were okay.” It’s true. I’m never alone. I usually have one or two children hanging onto me and three more milling about with my husband close. But at that moment, my husband had stepped away to collect the younger ones from the children’s service, and my older two had run off with their friends. I was standing alone. And as I stood there, one thought crossed my mind, “This is what it will be like when...
They whispered to her: You cannot withstand the storm. I have had days when the storms hit me while I sat on the shower floor with my knees to my chest feeling completely defeated, letting the hot water beat down on my body. I have had nights when the storms hit me as tears stained my pillow. As time has moved on, I am learning how to beat the storms. This is only possible because of the family and friends that God has brought into my life. This is my fight song. These are and have been my take back...
“Thao is with Jesus now,” we told her, barely choking out the whisper. Jesus. This invisible being we sing about. Jesus. The baby in the manger? Jesus. How can we explain Jesus and death and loss and grief to a 3-year-old? And now, how can we not? We live it, breathe it, and dwell in loss since the death of her brother, our son, Thao. Here we are living a life we never wanted or dreamed of. Here we are navigating loss and death in a way our Creator never intended. What words can I use to describe death to...
The international church service was vibrant with voices lifted up in songs of praise. Many clapped their hands and some even danced before God. But I wanted to be invisible. Joy felt like a land depicted in a fairy tale. I had returned from the hospital the day before—a surgery to remove the baby who had died in my womb. Watching this church buzz with happiness unearthed my fragileness. I slouched in my chair and closed my eyes. Tears trickled down my freckled face. My mind knew God was in control, but my heart ached as yet another thing I...
Rays of soft sunlight streamed through the curtain onto the hospital bed. I stepped to the edge of the bed, taking a moment to soak in his face before gently holding his hand. Eighty-nine years is a rich, full life, and each passing day revealed more convincingly it was time for him to go. Grief and relief shared the space in my heart as I carried the weight of understanding each visit held the opportunity to be my last. When he felt my hand, his eyes opened, and he gifted me a smile. Pop Pop always had a smile for...
I’ve always been a teeth grinder, especially during times of high stress. Striving manifests itself physically through my teeth and jaw. I have even shifted several of my teeth from the grinding, moving my pearly whites to become crooked and a little unsightly. I should’ve known this morning that the night of grinding my teeth before was going to turn into a day of clenching my jaw. The spiritual warfare was intense, the temptations strong. I felt angry and burnt out. After I finally laid my son down for a nap, I sat on the couch and told God, “I...
I’ve been thinking a lot about legacy lately. When my dad passed away in 2011, I lost the most influential person in my life. He was sacrificial in his love for me and others. His heart was devoted to the Lord, and it was evident to all who knew him. His death marked me in a significant way, and I still struggle with grief 11 years later. But his life marked me in an even greater way, and for that, I’m eternally grateful. As I reflect on legacy, I think about the impact that my dad’s faith had (and still...
Normally, on a Sunday afternoon during the girls’ naptime, I try to get some work done or lie down to rest. But a few days ago, I instead wrapped a blanket around my waist to keep warm and pulled cutting boards and pots out of the cupboard. Before I had kids, I wondered what kind of mom I would be. In fact, I was pretty sure I knew. My outgoing and vivacious personality attracted kids to my side for years. Their energy matched mine, and we giggled and chased each other before collapsing on the floor. I pictured myself holding...
As a kindergartner sometimes I tagged along to my mom’s work as a hotel housekeeper. While my mom worked, I played in the recreation room. Her boss checked on me and always had something fun to play with or a story to share. One day, in a burst of excitement, I shared something special that happened over the weekend with the supervisor. The words bounded from my mouth like a puppy ready to play in the morning. The boss chuckled, “Whoa, motor mouth! Slow down!” In a split second, my 5-year-old heart crumbled, and the lie that would follow me...
Growing up, I remember hearing many negative phrases used about marriage—on TV, by distant relatives, anywhere, really. “The old ball and chain.” “All my wife does is nag.” “You’re happy in your marriage? You must still be in the honeymoon phase.” These are just a few examples of the many things I have heard for years that create a negative connotation around marriage. I never really thought much of it until I fell in love and got engaged to the man of my dreams. Can you guess what happened next? “Just wait . . .” I heard entirely too many...