Dear kids,

I’m trying. 

We all had the rugs ripped under us, and I tried to catch whatever I could while this past year came crashing down around us. And this felt like the right thing to hold on to.

We always toyed with the idea of homeschooling. The freedoms in time, schedule, and the way we learn. The flexibility to do what we wanted. The precious time we’d get together and the new memories we’d make. 

But we didn’t get to take this for a test drive before we committed. At least not the way we hoped to.

We jumped on a moving train without looking at the destination and are hoping this journey is the one we want to take.

We were warned we’d have hard days. And yes, there have been really hard ones. But there’s no one size fits all as to why they’re hard, as they’re not always the same. 

Sometimes it’s because I walk up with a mountain in front of me and I can’t seem to find the motivation to climb it. Some days you just ache for normalcy and I see it as we trudge through the lessons, just trying to make it through the day. At times it’s just a multitude of frustrations: Am I doing it right? Are you understanding? Will we ever get through the year? A day where we need a refresh button and take a breather.    

The rules are also different here, and I’m also trying to learn them as we adjust.

I understand I can’t expect you to see me as anything more than Mom, and because of that, the rules in our classroom are blurred. I understand you don’t see our classroom as anything but home, so you have different expectations for the day. Yet I also know I have an obligation to make sure you get everything you need, so we march on. 

And as we do, I’m reminded that this decision could come with an expiration date. I’m not sure how long we will be doing this—is it for the year or will we love it enough to continue? I’m learning to take this one day at a time, just like I did when I chose this route.

So let’s stop nitpicking and focus on the good. And while we’re here on this train, please promise to: 

Try your hardest, even when you think you can’t. I already know how smart you are, but I need you to confidently see it and never, ever forget.

Try something new, even if that’s not how you used to do it. Not everything is how it was, so it’s OK if we stray the course. We’re all having to learn together, so while we’re doing this, let’s try our own rules on for size.

Have fun! This is why we fell into this. Let’s learn beyond the books, let’s do something new, let’s make this a wonderful adventure! Life is teaching us so many things every day.

And our decision halfway into the school year later? It still feels like the right one.

Homeschooling is a lot of work, a lot of tears, and a lot of doubt. Homeschooling brings a lot more appreciation for teachers and the wonderful work they do every day.

But homeschooling is also so very rewarding as we reach the milestones.  

So much fun when we stop taking ourselves seriously.  

So full of love when you see through the doubt and realize how much we appreciate what we’re doing for each other. 

Homeschooling is not for the faint of heart. But this path, and watching the fruits of our labor blossom a little bit every day, is worth every bit of it.

Love,
Mrs. Mom