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How to be Married…with (MORE) kids!

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A friend asked me the other day, “How do you two do it? Is it your faith? Your ability to apologize…”. She and I are walking similar paths right now. We both have infants. And we are both dealing with a few tummy troubled infants. Hers, far more severe mine. But having been friends for a few years, she knows our past with screaming babies. 

How. Do. We. Do. It. I think it’s normal in this day and age. When we see so many snippets of lives on Facebook, Twitter, and blogs to ask that quite a lot. How do they do it? How does she do it? We want to know if we’re missing some ground breaking key to easy. To ending the pursuit of happiness… And just being ridiculously, stupidly happy, every day. In everything. So that life can be all dreamy. All the time.

And at that. The universe laughs.

Life is never perfect. For anyone. Seriously. But I will say, my marriage… well… I think it’s actually pretty darn good. GAH. I know. Annoying. I’m not supposed to say that. Because next week, you’ll see us on the cover of People saying we’re splitsville. Because things aren’t supposed to be easy peasy chicken cheesey. But of all the things in life that feel like work, the marriage that my husband and I have built does not. Because it does feel like it’s a sure thing. And I feel like we make it pretty great. Together. And maybe even moreso since having children. Together. And if you know me, at all, you know I rarely boast such confidence.

So what’s our secret to what a good friend of mine deemed, our wash and go marriage? Sadly I am no expert. I’ve only been married once, to one guy, for less than a decade. But I do have a few nuggets that help us stay on track. I wrote a post after the birth of our second child, when I was being beasty, with some of my thoughts on how we keep tabs on our relationship. And now, after adding in yet another bundle to our brood, while some pieces remain the same, I have some additional thoughts on how we are surviving being married…with even more children. 

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About the author

Ashli Brehm

Ashli Brehm = Thirtysomething. Nebraska gal. Life blogger. Husker fan. Creative writer. Phi Mu sister. Breast cancer survivor. Boymom. Premie carrier. Happy wife. Gilmore Girls fanatic. Amos Lee listener. Coffee & La Croix drinker. Sarcasm user. Jesus follower. Slipper wearer. Funlover. Candle smeller. Yoga doer. Pinterest failer. Anne Lamott reader. Tribe member. Goodness believer. Life enthusiast.

Follow me at http://babyonthebrehm.com/


  • Love this! 🙂 And I wish you guys lived closer – because your marriage sounds much like mine and I have a feeling we would all get along very well!

  • Thanks, Leslie! So glad we at least get to hang out virtually:). I also see many things in your writing that are proof we could have quite the time:).