Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

Your first baby is just a whole new world. Their little fingers and toes are everything. You finally understand time in a new way as the days feel like a month and a month feels like a day. The sweet joy is palpable with this new bundle. And the next one? Absolutely the same joy. And you swear, even amongst this exhaustion and tiredness, that you will never forget their precious littleness.

I knew this time was fleeting. I felt it racing by as my heart was clinging desperately to the presence of her chubby cheeks and sweet, sweaty hands. How her little voice and facial expressions were. His tiny perfection. I wanted these memories to stay with me forever.

I swore I’d never forget that little hand holding mine.

But I have.

RELATED: Lord, Please Don’t Let Me Forget

Now, with four children, my oldest two are independent school kids. They don’t need help or to be reminded to go to the bathroom or to wash their hands. They don’t need to hold my hand when we cross streets. They know what to do on their homework quicker than I can guess. My babies are now these tall, gangly, beautiful amazing kids. They’re not tiny anymore. They don’t fit perfectly on my hip or lap. 

As I look back on photos and videos, they’re about all I have for memories of their littleness. I can hardly believe how small they used to be. It’s bittersweet looking back. How grateful I am that we have those photos and videos because without them I wouldn’t recognize those cuties.

You see, my memory reserves are a bit shot. Perhaps it’s from the sleep deprivation that I don’t remember much of my babies. Perhaps it’s that I usually have another little one I’m doting on as the next one grows.

Whatever the reason, I have forgotten. And that’s OK.

It’s OK because I have stayed present. I may not remember much of that fun, talkative toddler, but I know this 8-year-old has a choir performance at 10:15 that I’m not going to miss. I may not remember just how chubby his cheeks were when he was two years old, but I know his dreams of building a giant LEGO mansion. I may not remember that sleeping baby in my arms, but I know how his eyes light up when I say I’ll play Paw Patrol with him. I may not remember that newborn cry, but I know how his molar feels breaking through his gums. 

Dear babies,

It’s OK that I have forgotten because it’s the you that is now is infinitely more important to me than who you were then. I’ll mourn that memory loss and reminisce on the photos and videos when I have the time. But the you that is now? Darling, once you are my baby, you will always be my baby and I will look at you as such. No matter the quarrels we get into, you will always be my baby. Preciously important, just as you were since day one. 

I have forgotten the you that was, but I know the you that you are right now.

This present you is more paramount than any past or future versions you have or will be. I am still obsessed and engulfed in who you are. Love doesn’t get stuck in the past or leap to the future, it’s in all the seasons.

RELATED: Mamas, Please Quit Mourning Your Children Growing Up

But the now? This now love is everything. 

Motherhood doesn’t stop when you quit calling me “Mommy.” It pushes forward, and I wouldn’t miss it for all the memory storage in the world. So I won’t rush the present, and I won’t lament over the past. I’ll love you today just as I did yesterday and will tomorrow.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Julie Jensen

Julie is a wife and mother of four little ones. She is a ranch-raised introvert and craver of the simple life. Faith is her anchor. Writing is her passion. is her website. Spiritual Physical Financial Goals: My Journey of 30-Day Intentions and Journaling Is for You are her books. You can also check her out on Facebook here: Julie C. Jensen Author/Writer .

Motherhood is Wanting Our Babies to Grow Up—But Also Stay Little

In: Child, Motherhood, Toddler
Motherhood is Wanting Our Babies to Grow Up—But Also Stay Little

The other day started out like every other. I grabbed my chubby cheeked toddler out of the car seat to get bundled up for school, but instead of wanting me to carry him in, this time he said, “No, Mama. ME, walk.” Just like that, there it was. The last time. How many times before that had I encouraged him to “be big” and walk on his own or grumbled at having to carry him into school. And now, here we were, his little hand holding mine as we walked into school. That is the thing about lasts. They sneak...

Keep Reading

5 Ways To Embrace Your Little Kids Turning Into Big Kids

In: Motherhood
Big kids smiling

Not too long ago, I spent my Friday evening crying on the couch. I was grieving the end of an era, the end of the time in my life when my children are little and are at home with me all day. I knew this day would come. I did. I knew my youngest would be in all-day kindergarten this year, but between the pandemic and online school, that day got pushed back quite a bit. But it came. The empty house. The loneliness. And the almost deafening silence, broken only by my frantic need to listen to an audiobook...

Keep Reading

I Finally Made it To the Sweet Spot of Motherhood

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mom with two daughters smiling

Guys, I think I made it. Finally made it to that small window of time I’ve heard parents talk about for years. The one where the kids are past the never-stops-moving toddler stage but not yet to the ugh-don’t-look-at-me preteen stage. The sweet spot. I’m here. And yes, it’s pretty sweet. I remember when my oldest was a baby. Everyone I knew went on and on about summer: All the fun they’d have, the trips they were planning, how it was their favorite season. Me? I didn’t get it. My kid ate grass and skinned her knee every 30 seconds...

Keep Reading