As the sun began to set and the golden hour made its way through the windows of our home, I numbly stared at the mound of dishes piled in the sink. The change in daylight brought a new awareness of all the crumbs sprawled across my kitchen counters and my toddler was at my feet begging for his one-thousandth snack of the day. As I held my gassy infant and fended off my toddler while I tried to prepare dinner, I could feel resentment boiling up within me. My patience was wearing thin, and anger was just beneath the surface willing to rear its ugly head at any moment.
I spend my days changing diapers, feeding little mouths, cleaning a bottomless pit of dishes, folding laundry, sweeping floors, making appointments, squeezing in a few hours of work online, and rocking babies to sleep. I go to bed only to have those precious moments of rest interrupted, and then I do it all over again the next day.
They say that motherhood is one of the greatest joys—and truly I know it is—but at this moment, right now, I just couldn’t feel that.
No matter how many times I tried to remind myself to turn to joy, something would trigger me and send me right back to anger. Friend, I know the day I’m describing feels all too familiar to you. The days when it’s hard to remember just why we signed up for this motherhood gig. When your efforts and servanthood feel like a lost cause.
I stood in the chaos of that kitchen and wondered why all this mattered. Do these mundane tasks and tiresome days make a difference?
It was at that moment that God met me. He met me with a reminder—Mama, you are the vessel in which your children will get to experience Christ’s love for the very first time. Oof.
The ways in which you display patience when your toddler insists on putting their shoes on themselves when you’re just trying to get out the door teaches them the way their Heavenly Father has patience for us when we try to go our own way. The way we respond in love to the tantrums and meltdowns is a direct reflection of how the Lord cares for us when our emotions overwhelm us.
My ability to comfort and meet every need of my infant shows Christ’s provision.
Every dish cleaned, towel folded, and swept floor is a testament to the way Christ lived His life— in servanthood, washing the feet of the least of us.
You have the unique and sacred honor of displaying who Christ is to your babies for the very first time every single day. They will know Him because you treated these days with kingdom weight and sanctifying responsibility. So, daughter of Christ, when the days of “Does this matter?” creep in on you, remind yourself that these days matter most.