So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

My heart wishes so badly for a deep friendship. You know the kind, like the gals from I Mom So Hard, or the fictional ones from TV. A friendship where we talk every day, hang out weekly, and whenever as our most disheveled selves with absolutely no judgment. Someone I’m comfortable with, like the sister I never had.

I don’t know if that even exists, but it sure is portrayed in the world like it is. And the world is telling me I need that. Whether it’s a small group or just one person, the world is telling me I need someone else (other than my husband) to complete me.

I finally had a friend who was starting to look like that, even having kids close in age. Then I moved over 1000 miles away. Leaving her and the friendship we had built was the only thing I regretted. Then we moved back six months later, and that friendship all of a sudden had a wall built up.

RELATED: No One Talks About How Much it Hurts When Friendship Ends

I had hurt her. I know she’d never admit it, but I knew my leaving broke her trust. And so the closest thing I’ve had to a best friend in my adult life crumbled. We barely see each other anymore, and we talk even less. It hurts.

My heart always hurts over losing friendships.

And with the world the way it is, politics, and my strong faith, other friendships have fizzled out as well. I only speak to one of my four bridesmaids, and even that friendship isn’t what it used to be.

To be honest, I feel not good enough. I feel like I’m not worthy. For some, I’m too Christian. For others, I’m not Christian enough, not pure enough. I let my kids go trick-or-treating, but I don’t let them dress as anything evil. I say too many bad words, or I don’t say enough. I drink wine on the weekends, while others are drinking on weekdays or not at all. My kids watch too much TV, but I’m very selective in what they watch. I homeschool instead of sending my kids to private or even public school. I complain too much. I don’t pray enough.

I just feel like who I am isn’t enough.

But you know what? I am enough in Christ.

He will not leave me, nor will He forsake me. He accepts me as I am. He knows my faults. He makes me want to be better. I am not here to please the world. I am here to please God. But at the same time, I am human, and God knows I will fall short.

Although I wish I could hold onto friendships lost or find someone willing to put in the effort to be my person, those are worldly things I am coveting. The bad news is people are people. Humans are humans. We all sin. We all fall short. We all have our baggage. We will intentionally and unintentionally hurt each other.

RELATED: Find a Friend Who Points You To Jesus And Keep Her Close

The good news? God does not do that. God does not leave. God is the only one who can fill that hole in us.

So I choose to find my worth in Him. I choose to honor Him. I choose to put in the effort to know Him.

I grow closer to God because that is the relationship that matters. That is the relationship that affects all of the other relationships in my life.

In Christ, I am whole, I am loved, and though I am judged, I am forgiven.

Above all, I am loved for exactly who I am.

Alyssa Hurlbert

I live in Northern California with my husband and our two kids. Writing has always been healing for me, and when my daughter was born 2 years ago I realized my words could be healing for others as well. This motherhood thing is hard sometimes, but we don't have to go through it alone.

I Can’t Be Everyone’s Chick-fil-A Sauce

In: Friendship, Journal, Living, Relationships
woman smiling in the sun

A couple of friends and I went and grabbed lunch at Chick-fil-A a couple of weeks ago. It was delightful. We spent roughly $20 apiece, and our kids ran in and out of the play area barefoot and stinky and begged us for ice cream, to which we responded, “Not until you finish your nuggets,” to which they responded with a whine, and then ran off again like a bolt of crazy energy. One friend had to climb into the play tubes a few times to save her 22-month-old, but it was still worth every penny. Every. Single. One. Even...

Keep Reading

Sacrificial Friendship is a Gift From God

In: Faith, Friendship, Motherhood
Two friends smiling

I can’t believe she did that. I’m 48 minutes from leaving for a gigantic work meeting when the babysitter calls . . . Huge emergency. Can’t come. Uh-oh. I scramble for a plan. Husband? Out of town. Mom? At work. Backup sitter? Unavailable. I make a last-ditch call to a best friend, interrupting the homeschooling of her three kids. Shoutout to my homeschool mamas: I know everyone calls you because you’re “just home all day.” I promise this wasn’t that. But I’m desperate, and she’s an angel—she rearranges her schedule and says she’ll be right over. I can’t believe she...

Keep Reading

Growing Up in the ’80s Taught Me All I Need To Know About Friendship

In: Friendship
Two friends in the 80s

I first met Mary the summer before 6th grade at Camp Caroline Furnace. She was tall, thin, and blonde. I was short, pudgy, and brunette. She lived on a farm in rural Virginia. I lived in a Maryland suburb outside Washington, DC. Her parents were married; mine were divorced. She was athletic and played sports; I always got picked last for kickball. If we hadn’t both been assigned to cabin five that summer, we probably would never have become friends. But somehow, we hit it off and left camp that summer with our addresses scribbled on pieces of notebook paper, and...

Keep Reading

5 Secrets to the

BEST Summer Ever!

FREE EMAIL BONUS

Creating simple summer memories

with your kids that will  last a lifetime