So God Made a Teacher Collection (Sale!) ➔

 

Sometimes I wish I were a perfect mom. I tend toward perfectionism, in general, but motherhood has brought it out in me in all new ways. 

I stress over finding the “right” way to do everything. I second guess my decisions. I wonder what other moms think of me. I worry about messing up my kids. 

Yes, I wish I were a perfect mom. It would sure make our lives better. 

And yet . . . 

If I were a perfect mom, I would know how to do everything. I would know all the right answers. I would never doubt myself or feel at a loss. 

But then I wouldn’t need to rely on God. I wouldn’t need to ask for His wisdom on a daily basis or seek His strength. Motherhood has brought me closer to God than I’ve ever been because it’s brought me to my knees more often than I’ve ever been. And I would miss out on that if I were a perfect mom.

If I were a perfect mom, I would never mess up. I would never lose my temper, say unkind things, or become impatient. I would never need to apologize to my kids. 

But then they would miss out on witnessing those apologies. I would not be modeling day in and day out how to humble themselves and ask for forgiveness. They would not have those opportunities to learn how to extend forgiveness and grace—first to me, and then to others. 

If I were a perfect mom, I would expect my kids to turn out perfectly. Because if I’m doing everything right, then they should do everything right, too. Right?

But then my expectations would be unrealistic. Because kids are their own people, and even when we do the “right” things, they can still choose poorly. There are no guarantees in parenting, so even if I were a perfect mom, that wouldn’t guarantee perfect kids.

If I were a perfect mom, I would never make dumb mistakes. I would never forget their coats and hats in cold weather. I would never fail to take all the baby-proofing precautions. I would never leave things out that they might fall on or trip over. I would never do anything that might lead them to get hurt. 

But then my kids would be weenies. They wouldn’t grow stronger. They wouldn’t develop resilience. They wouldn’t learn from their experiences. They would grow up in a bubble. A bubble bound to be popped upon entering the real world. 

If I were a perfect mom, all the other moms would be impressed. I would never feel the sting of disapproval. There would be no opportunities for judgment or criticism. I would be known as “the perfect mom.” 

But then I wouldn’t be able to encourage other moms. First of all, they would all hate me. But they also wouldn’t be able to relate to me. And it’s hard to be helpful if you’re not relatable. It’s our imperfections that draw us closer together and offer the freedom to share life genuinely with each other. 

Finally, If I were a perfect mom, I would know all the right parenting methods and make all the right decisions. I would be able to meet all their needs—physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. I would definitely notmess them up. 

But then I would take away their dependence on God. If I could meet all their needs perfectly, then what need would they have for God? If I were perfect, I would be robbing them of one of life’s most important lessons—only God can be everything and give everything we need. 

So yeah, sometimes I wish I were a perfect mom. Everything would be a lot easier if I knew all the answers and made perfect choices. 

Or would it? 

Every time I’m tempted to think so, I realize what it would really mean if I were a perfect mom. Resilience never developed, life lessons never learned, dependence on God never realized. 

And I think, maybe it’s best that I’m not a perfect mom, after all. 

Lisa Mullen

Lisa is a wife, mom of three, and blogger. She writes at themerrymomma.com, a blog devoted to helping moms be the peaceful, joyful, and intentional moms they want to be. When she’s not working or taking care of her family, she can usually be found cooking, enjoying their country oasis, and reading her heart out. You can find her on FacebookPinterest, and Instagram.

When Life Feels Hard, Sit in the Light

In: Faith
book plate and mug sitting in light on a table

Because of the way our house sits, there isn’t a lot of natural light that flows into our home. As a girl who loves the sun and works at home, this has been a problem, especially in the winter months. I often find myself identifying deeply with my dog, who walks around the house in search of patches of sunlight to lay in. In fact, there is a section of my kitchen where I often sit and do my devotions because the sun shines down on me—a physical reminder of God’s love and presence. The first time I did this...

Keep Reading

Jesus of the Rock Bottom Rescue

In: Faith, Living
Sad woman sitting on floor

Have you ever hit rock bottom? I have and it was the scariest place I’ve ever been but that’s where I found Jesus. Where I truly encounter the Holy Spirit and the healing power and life He can give. I was raised in a Christian home by good parents that would have given their lives for me. I was raised in the church and loved by my church family. I enjoyed going to church as a child and I loved Jesus my whole life. At the age of 8 years old I asked Jesus into my heart and was baptized....

Keep Reading

While I Wait for Another Door to Open, I’ll Hold One For Someone Else

In: Faith, Living
Woman teaching another woman by computer

I’m waiting for another door. All my life, I’ve been told that when God closes one door, He opens another. And here I am, staring at the imminent end of the business I’ve built from nothing. Closing down what I started up from sheer willpower, too much caffeine, and the bold determination to work for myself. Scratching out what I made from scratch . . . and it feels horrible. God didn’t just close this door. He slammed it shut, boarded the whole thing up, and hammered the nails in where I cannot pry them open. Believe me. I’ve tried....

Keep Reading

Separating Work From Home is a Must For Me

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mom with baby smiling

If I close my eyes and let myself, I can still see the 11-year-old boy with his pale feet sticking out from under the blanket, on his way to the morgue after a gun accident.   If I close my eyes and let myself, I can still see the still, blue form of the 3-month-old who passed away in his sleep. We gave CPR and all the medicines “just in case,” but that baby was gone long before his caregiver brought him in through the door. If I close my eyes and let myself, I can still see the 3-year-old...

Keep Reading

When Teens Are Hard to Love, You Love Them Harder

In: Faith, Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy sitting with hood up

I lay face down on the floor, praying. Praying in the loosest sense of the word. Praying in the Romans 8:26 way—you know, when the Spirit “intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Because I could not utter any actual coherent thoughts at that point. I was weary and beaten down. Day after day I had been in combat, battling an opponent I didn’t anticipate: one of my children. My own child, one of the people I had lovingly grown inside my body and loved sacrificially for all these years, had staunchly and repeatedly put himself in opposition...

Keep Reading

In This Stage of Marriage, it Feels Like We’re Roommates Who Share the Same Kids

In: Faith, Marriage
Distant couple on phones in bed

How do you get it back? How do you get back the love you once had? Everyone told me marriage was hard and having kids was hard, but I had no idea it would be this hard. I thought everyone was lying because our relationship was solid before marriage. We were best friends. Some days I feel like we’re roommates who share the same kids. It disgusts me even to say that, but it’s the truth. Marriage is hard and has ugly sides to it that everyone seems afraid to talk about. RELATED: Keep Showing Up Even When Marriage is...

Keep Reading

You Are the God of Details, but God These Details Don’t Make Sense

In: Faith, Grief, Loss
Window open with shutters

That was not the plan. What just happened in there? We walked out a bit defeated. More than a bit. I felt deflated. Things were supposed to be different by now. This wasn’t what I asked for or expected. This wasn’t even what they told me would happen. We cross the street in silence. Headed to the car and as soon as I shut the car door, I could no longer hold it in. I let the tears flow. All this unknown. I don’t understand. This is life. This is foster care. This is what we chose. That doesn’t make...

Keep Reading

I Am a Good Enough Mom

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother kissing toddler

I came to motherhood knowing nothing about the job. My mother’s example wasn’t an example at all, more of something to forget, and maybe even get therapy for. My own son was the first newborn I’d ever held. When I became a mom, I was 23 and clueless.  Because of my personality, I wanted to do everything right and parenthood was no exception. I read all the books on parenting I could. I talked to older moms and soaked up all the advice they gave me. Having no idea what I was doing made me look to outside sources to inform...

Keep Reading

God’s Plan For Me Wasn’t What I Expected

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman walking with children silhouette

I grew up in a family where we knew who God was. We went to church, and we were involved in church. However, when we weren’t at church, time spent in the Word fell to the wayside. Don’t get me wrong, my parents were wonderful people, but we didn’t make that a priority in my house.  Going into adulthood, I realized I had deceived myself into believing I had a relationship with God. I knew God loved me, but I questioned whether I loved Him. I wasn’t living life in a way that was glorifying to Him. I’m not only...

Keep Reading

But God is Still Good

In: Faith, Living
Woman looking out window

“I can’t afford a new one,” I thought to myself as I shampooed another stain. This can’t keep happening. Maybe I made a mistake. I have to make this last. And the couch. And the clothes. And all the things. We are done having babies. The price of food has doubled. It’s astronomical to fill the cars with gas. Things are closing in on me. How can I best serve my family? Survival mode engaged. When I read the news, when I follow the headlines, when I listen to the conversations around me . . .  I hear fear. Loss....

Keep Reading

Get our FREE phone wallpaper to encourage you as the new school year begins

It's bittersweet for a mother to watch her child grow—but you both are ready to soar.