Remember that book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie? I do. I don’t remember what happens exactly if you give a mouse a cookie, but I have a little story inside my head today called “If You Give a Mom a Minute.”

Today, I got a minute, actually, like 90 of them. Coffee with my best friend, outside in the fall, in our charming town, at our favorite place. We talked about good things, sad things, planned a trip, caught up—our coffee was hot, and we weren’t rushed. Wow. What that did for me this morning.

Here’s the thing, if you give a mom a minute (or 90), you get back so much more. That blissful start to the day motivated me. I checked some errands off that my husband had wanted me to do (the kind of errands I would normally procrastinate). I filled out forms for all the things kid-related this fall. I started a chicken dinner. I picked up. And finally (most importantly) I sent my husband a text saying he could work late and I could just pick up all the kids. Why did I do that? Because when my tank is full, I can help my family.

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Moms are at the heart of the household, their finger on the pulse of everything. Doing most things on an empty tank. Keeping track of the details, remembering the mundane, heading off issues before they arise. It’s really tiring and draining. When I get a minute (or 90) these minutiae don’t seem so daunting, so never-ending, so life-sucking. They seem like my job . . . that I like.

We, as moms, need a minute. Mostly because we won’t take one until everyone else has their needs met, but that’s like never, so it’s this endless cycle of doing for everyone else and neglecting our own needs. This builds over time and causes burnout and resentment, impatience, and a bad temper.

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No one wants to be crabby or short with our family, but we just need a minute. To decompress, to think about something other than the details of everyone else, what needs to be done, who needs a fire put out. We need quiet to recharge, unwind, calibrate, and get back to baseline, and when we do, the payoff for everyone else is huge.

We can do more with a full tank, a charged battery, a calm mind. When you give a mom a minute, you get back so much more. You get a happy mom, a fun mom, a helpful mom, a motivated mom. It’s so worth it for all involved to just give a mom a minute.