By Lindsey Bussie 
To the moms who haven’t found their tribes, I see you. I think we’ve been sold an idea that doesn’t fit everyone. If you have a pack of ladies you can work out with, road trip with, and have a random dinner on a Thursday night with, I love that for you. I would love that for me, but I’ve come to realize it’s not going to happen for me (and probably others), and wishing for it or being jealous of it isn’t making it any better. But I see you.
To the moms whose high school friends moved away or who moved away themselves, I see you. I see you trying to fit into a community where everyone knows everyone else, and you have to try extra hard to be heard. You fight for every friend you have, even if they’re only acquaintances. Know this: those relationships matter, and it’s okay if you’re not their number one. It’s not your fault; it’s just the world we live in.
To the moms whose families aren’t around or can’t be around, I see you. You show up for every game and practice because there is no aunt or grandma to help out. You carry the weight of a whole tribe on your shoulders. You cheer louder and hug harder to make up for it. Your heart aches for cousins to rush out of the stands or beg for a sleepover on a Friday night, but instead, you build your own traditions, and that’s okay too. Your kids know you’re there for them.
To the moms who drink coffee alone in their cars, wishing they had someone to chat with about how life is just extra hard right now, I see you. Sometimes we just need to talk to another woman about how hard moming is, the stages of life, and is it normal to be this tired? If you can’t find someone in person to talk to, find someone online, because I promise you, there are more of us online.
To the moms who want others to see their kids for the amazing human beings they are, I see you. You want your kids to know that other people see and appreciate the value they bring to the world, to celebrate them, and encourage them. Keep pouring your love and support into them, because it matters.
To the moms who want to join a moms group, book club, or gym but are afraid, I see you. Not every group is going to be a good fit, and that’s okay. Keep trying, keep putting yourself out there, because you’re worth it. You don’t have to find a group of best friends, but finding people who are happy to see you is worth something.
To the moms whose partners work weird hours and are left momming longer than you thought possible, I see you. So many of us are our kids’ bus driver, chef, therapist, maid, secretary, and friend with no break. Just know this isn’t how it was supposed to be, and doing your best is all that matters. Who cares if it was French fries for dinner?
To the moms who don’t have a tribe, I see you. We as humans grew throughout history with tribes of women, aunts, mothers, cousins, and friends to help us through the hard seasons of mothering. So if you feel like you can’t do it all, it’s because we weren’t ever designed to. Modern times can be amazing, but they can also be lonely. Keep putting yourself out there, keep being you, and keep loving your kids. You may not ever find your people, but you will find others who know your name, who you can laugh with, smile at, and share a quick story with—and that matters.
In times when we can’t have a tribe, find the wanderers. The ones who are happy to talk to whomever, smile at everyone, and hope that you might strike up a conversation with them. Just because you don’t have a tribe, it doesn’t mean you have to be alone. In the end, all it takes is a smile, a quick joke, or a small hello to make your day or someone else’s. And if you never have a tribe, it’s okay—find us wanderers.
by Heather Duckworth 
by Lauren Wiatrek 
by Shannah Hogue 
