Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

I saw a sign today that said, “Your vibe attracts your tribe.”

Tribes. They are the new hip thing to talk about. Whether it is your mommy tribe, girlfriend tribe, your BFFs, your book club, wine club, whatever! Call it what you like, but it all boils down to finding a group of ladies in which you share a common interest and find support in their company.

Though I never really considered my particular group of friends my “tribe,” that sign today did get me thinking. I have to say I agree with it. Whether you are a Law of Attraction, like-begets-like sort of gal or more of a spiritual, practice-what-you-preach person, it seems to fall under the same idea. We surround ourselves with people that most closely reflect us.

Has there ever been a truer statement? While I thoroughly love my current tribe, I do feel a sense of sadness and loss for my tribes of the past. It is hard to reminisce over lost or faltering friendships that were once so incredibly strong. It is equally disheartening to think that my current tribe might one day be a thing of the past as well.

But life is all about learning lessons and moving on. We go into relationships hoping they will last and when they do it is nothing short of remarkable. But if they end, whether on good terms or bad, we always end up taking a little piece of them on the road with us, ready to use their lessons in our next set of relationships.

I am now in the Mommy Tribe and man is it fierce. The only unfortunate outcome of joining this tribe would be that it meant leaving my last one. My College Tribe. The group of ladies I journeyed with on the path to adulthood. They were in my wedding, served as my closest confidants and best friends. I loved this tribe with all of my heart. I still do.

It was with my College Tribe that I grew to understand who I was and what I wanted to do in this world. They were women from all walks of life, backgrounds, and perspectives, but we experienced life together and that made us close, even if we were separated by distance. I am so fortunate to have had this tribe and cherish each memory we made. Those really were the days. And I would be lying if I said seeing all these kids moving into college didn’t make me a little jealous because, yes, those years were just that good.

But life moves on and seasons change. After I finished my Master’s degree I knew I had to leave that life behind to start the next chapter. I would say it was bittersweet but, honestly, I didn’t even know I had left the tribe until they were already in my rearview mirror. I moved on thinking things would stay the same as they always were.

It was a gradual process. Visits with old friends became fewer and far between. Texts turned from daily, to weekly, to occasionally. We went from being in each other’s Facebook posts to simply liking them. But this was all right. I would much rather drift slowly apart than end things on bad terms. This way I know I still always have their love, support, and friendship. I hope they know they always have mine.

Just as leaving my College Tribe was a gradual process, finding my Mommy Tribe was rooted in slow beginnings. My entrance into motherhood was rather lonely as I was one of the first in my group to have a child. But before I knew it, my tribe began to grow. I would meet one friend that would ultimately lead to meeting many more. All of these women, whether they had children or not, revived my mommy spirit with much-needed community.

These are the women I go to now when motherhood has gotten the better of me. I can tell them why life is hard without fear of judgment. Even better, I can tell them why life is so great without fear of receiving envy laced criticism. They see my struggles and help me through and I do the same for them. Every woman, mother or not, needs this in her life.

And you know what? I have a pretty spectacular group. Not only do I have new friends that have earned an irreplaceable seat in my heart, but time has a way of reviving the old and making it new again. In fact, many of my old tribe members have since crossed over to my new tribe. I love welcoming them–and their precious little ones–with open arms.

These words are for all my girls, both OT (Old/Original Tribe) and NT (New Tribe). You have impacted my life so many times only for the better. I wish you the best of luck as you move forward on your own life journeys, joining new and exciting tribes along the way. I find comfort knowing that as you move on a small part of me will go with you. And should we meet back up again someday, I know my heart and soul will flourish in your company once again.

I love you!

“The best kind of friendships are fierce lady friendships where you aggressively believe in each other, defend each other, and think the other deserves the world.” —Unknown
*This post was previously published on therustichideaway.com
So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Kayla Runkel

Kayla is a former marketer turned stay-at-home-mom to two sweet boys. You can follow her blog, The Rustic Hideaway, or her writing page, K.C. Runkel. When she is not writing, Kayla loves teaching fitness classes, reading books, and spending time with her husband and sons exploring her favorite place in the world, Wyoming. Or as she simply calls it: home.

I Thought Our Friendship Would Be Unbreakable

In: Friendship, Journal, Relationships
Two friends selfie

The message notification pinged on my phone. A woman, once one of my best friends, was reaching out to me via Facebook. Her message simply read, “Wanted to catch up and see how life was treating you!”  I had very conflicting feelings. It seemed with that one single message, a flood of memories surfaced. Some held some great moments and laughter. Other memories held disappointment and hurt of a friendship that simply had run its course. Out of morbid curiosity, I clicked on her profile page to see how the years had been treating her. She was divorced and still...

Keep Reading

The First 10 Years: How Two Broken People Kept Their Marriage from Breaking

In: Journal, Marriage, Relationships
The First Ten Years: How Two Broken People Kept Their Marriage from Breaking www.herviewfromhome.com

We met online in October of 2005, by way of a spam email ad I was THIS CLOSE to marking as trash. Meet Single Christians! My cheese alert siren sounded loudly, but for some reason, I unchecked the delete box and clicked through to the site. We met face-to-face that Thanksgiving. As I awaited your arrival in my mother’s kitchen, my dad whispered to my little brother, “Hide your valuables. Stacy has some guy she met online coming for Thanksgiving dinner.” We embraced for the first time in my parents’ driveway. I was wearing my black cashmere sweater with the...

Keep Reading

To The Mother Who Is Overwhelmed

In: Inspiration, Motherhood
Tired woman with coffee sitting at table

I have this one head. It is a normal sized head. It didn’t get bigger because I had children. Just like I didn’t grow an extra arm with the birth of each child. I mean, while that would be nice, it’s just not the case. We keep our one self. And the children we add on each add on to our weight in this life. And the head didn’t grow more heads because we become a wife to someone. Or a boss to someone. We carry the weight of motherhood. The decisions we must make each day—fight the shorts battle...

Keep Reading

You’re a Little Less Baby Today Than Yesterday

In: Journal, Motherhood
Toddler sleeping in mother's arms

Tiny sparkles are nestled in the wispy hair falling across her brow, shaken free of the princess costume she pulled over her head this morning. She’s swathed in pink: a satiny pink dress-up bodice, a fluffy, pink, slightly-less-glittery-than-it-was-two-hours-ago tulle skirt, a worn, soft pink baby blanket. She’s slowed long enough to crawl into my lap, blinking heavy eyelids. She’s a little less baby today than she was only yesterday.  Soon, she’ll be too big, too busy for my arms.  But today, I’m rocking a princess. The early years will be filled with exploration and adventure. She’ll climb atop counters and...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, I Loved You First

In: Marriage, Motherhood, Relationships
Man and woman kissing in love

Dear husband, I loved you first. But often, you get the last of me. I remember you picking me up for our first date. I spent a whole hour getting ready for you. Making sure every hair was in place and my make-up was perfect. When you see me now at the end of the day, the make-up that is left on my face is smeared. My hair is more than likely in a ponytail or some rat’s nest on the top of my head. And my outfit, 100% has someone’s bodily fluids smeared somewhere. But there were days when...

Keep Reading

Stop Being a Butthole Wife

In: Grief, Journal, Marriage, Relationships
Man and woman sit on the end of a dock with arms around each other

Stop being a butthole wife. No, I’m serious. End it.  Let’s start with the laundry angst. I get it, the guy can’t find the hamper. It’s maddening. It’s insanity. Why, why, must he leave piles of clothes scattered, the same way that the toddler does, right? I mean, grow up and help out around here, man. There is no laundry fairy. What if that pile of laundry is a gift in disguise from a God you can’t (yet) see? Don’t roll your eyes, hear me out on this one. I was a butthole wife. Until my husband died. The day...

Keep Reading

I Can’t Be Everyone’s Chick-fil-A Sauce

In: Friendship, Journal, Living, Relationships
woman smiling in the sun

A couple of friends and I went and grabbed lunch at Chick-fil-A a couple of weeks ago. It was delightful. We spent roughly $20 apiece, and our kids ran in and out of the play area barefoot and stinky and begged us for ice cream, to which we responded, “Not until you finish your nuggets,” to which they responded with a whine, and then ran off again like a bolt of crazy energy. One friend had to climb into the play tubes a few times to save her 22-month-old, but it was still worth every penny. Every. Single. One. Even...

Keep Reading

Love Notes From My Mother in Heaven

In: Faith, Grief, Journal, Living
Woman smelling bunch of flowers

Twelve years have passed since my mother exclaimed, “I’ve died and gone to Heaven!” as she leaned back in her big donut-shaped tube and splashed her toes, enjoying the serenity of the river.  Twelve years since I stood on the shore of that same river, 45 minutes later, watching to see if the hopeful EMT would be able to revive my mother as she floated toward his outstretched hands. Twelve years ago, I stood alone in my bedroom, weak and trembling, as I opened my mother’s Bible and all the little keepsakes she’d stowed inside tumbled to the floor.  It...

Keep Reading

Sometimes Friendships End, No Matter How Hard You Try

In: Friendship, Journal, Relationships
Sad woman alone without a friend

I tried. We say these words for two reasons. One: for our own justification that we made an effort to complete a task; and two: to admit that we fell short of that task. I wrote those words in an e-mail tonight to a friend I had for nearly 25 years after not speaking to her for eight months. It was the third e-mail I’ve sent over the past few weeks to try to reconcile with a woman who was more of a sister to me at some points than my own biological sister was. It’s sad when we drift...

Keep Reading

Goodbye to the House That Built Me

In: Grown Children, Journal, Living, Relationships
Ranch style home as seen from the curb

In the winter of 1985, while I was halfway done growing in my mom’s belly, my parents moved into a little brown 3 bedroom/1.5 bath that was halfway between the school and the prison in which my dad worked as a corrections officer. I would be the first baby they brought home to their new house, joining my older sister. I’d take my first steps across the brown shag carpet that the previous owner had installed. The back bedroom was mine, and mom plastered Smurf-themed wallpaper on the accent wall to try to get me to sleep in there every...

Keep Reading