A Gift for Mom! 🤍

I was born Wednesday, August 28, 1985. On September 14, 1985 I attended my first football game. I was seventeen days old.

My dad was a football and baseball coach most of my life. I loved it. I loved having my birthday parties at the game on Friday night followed by a slumber party at my house. I loved getting to the crosstown rivalry game at 1 pm to get a seat on the front row. I loved the pep rallies and the homecoming parades. In my West Texas town, football season was like a four-month-long Christmas, with all the spirit and decorations and hugging.

I loved it so much I even married a high school football coach (unintentionally, as he was a business major in college) whose dad is a Hall of Fame high school football coach, and two brothers are also football coaches, one of whom played professionally.

Football runs deep in this family.

But despite the love I have for the game, I will not let my son play youth tackle football. And so that you can make an informed decision for your own son, I’ll tell you why.

If you’ve read any articles about the NFL the last few years or seen Will Smith’s movie Concussion, you know the discourse currently surrounding football regarding CTE, the degenerative brain disease associated with recurring blows to the head. The recent research has put the NFL in the hot seat, scrambling to make the game safer much to the chagrin of football traditionalists.

Tuesday, a new study came out by Dr. Ann McKee and the CTE Center at Boston University, determining that of 111 deceased NFL players whose brains were donated for study, 110 showed signs of CTE. For those of you who aren’t mathematicians, that’s over 99%. And for those of you who aren’t analysts, 99% is a lot. While researchers admitted the findings are biased since “many families have donated brains specifically because the former player showed symptoms of C.T.E.,” the NY Times article points out that ‘’even if every one of the other 1,200 players [who have died since testing began] had tested negative — which even the heartiest skeptics would agree could not possibly be the case — the minimum C.T.E. prevalence would be close to 9 percent, vastly higher than in the general population.”

Sure, this is horrifying, but the fact is the majority of us will never produce an NFL player. We will never have to decide whether football is worth the risk at that level.

But we all get to choose if they play when they’re 9.

Two years ago, BU performed a different study, this time focusing on the effect of youth football. Their goal was this: “to determine the relationship between exposure to repeated head impacts through tackle football prior to age 12, during a key period of brain development, and later-life executive function, memory, and estimated verbal IQ.”

The study, which was published on ESPN.com, evaluated 42 retired NFL players between the ages of 40-69. They had two groups: a group who HAD played football prior to age 12 and a group who had not. Of the two groups, the men who HAD played youth football scored “significantly worse” on three measures: memory loss, executive function, and verbal IQ.

Prior to this study, it had been argued that since a child’s brain was more malleable and resilient, it would heal more quickly than that of an adult. But this study showed the opposite, “that incurring repeated head impacts during a critical neurodevelopmental period may increase the risk of later-life cognitive impairment.”

Beyond just the science, my personal experiences have discouraged the early introduction of contact football. I’ve watched my father, a former college quarterback who suffered five concussions during his career, struggle with symptoms that closely mirror those of CTE. I also married into a family of two Division 1 football players, neither of whom played tackle football until seventh grade because their dad (a coach with four state championships under his belt) didn’t believe it offered an advantage.

This is apparently true of most coaches. I asked 57 middle school, high school, and college football coaches if they would allow their sons to play tackle football before 7th grade. Of those 57, 41 said they would not. And of the 16 who said they would, many included caveats (not until 5th or 6th grade, not unless I knew the coach, only if I knew they were being taught how to tackle correctly, etc.).

Brent Falls, the Varsity Receivers coach at Ennis High School said, “In my experience, pee wee coaches often teach the wrong fundamentals of football, making it hard for not only the coaches but the players too, to have to fix when they get into middle school.” Jim Reese, my dad who coached both at the high school and college level, said, “I think kids who wait until 7th grade do better, have less injuries, and don’t suffer burnout.”

Thankfully, there are better, safer alternatives to learning the game such as flag football leagues, 7 on 7 leagues, private lessons, and youth football camps.

I love football. And I desperately believe in the power of sports. I will never devalue the camaraderie, confidence, integrity, and work ethic it builds. I also believe in giving kids long leashes, letting them scrape their knees and even breaking a bone or two. That’s how we learn and grow.

But when we are able to see life-altering consequences our children can’t, when it’s their future we’re playing with, we have a responsibility to advocate for them. And because of that, my husband and I agree that youth tackle football offers no benefits worth the risk.

And until my son gets to seventh grade, I’ll just be over here praying he falls in love with swimming or playing the trumpet.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Jordan Harrell

Jordan writes about the days with her three kids and wonderful husband to help her get through the days with her three kids and wonderful husband. She's really good at eating chocolate, over-analyzing everything, and forgetting stuff. In 2017, Jordan founded fridaynightwives.com, a blog and boutique that serves as a ministry for coaches' wives. You can find her at jordanharrell.comFacebookInstagram, or Twitter.

Ask For the Playdate

In: Kids
Kids playing at park

When my only child was finishing up his first year of preschool a few years ago, I knew he would miss having friends to play with regularly over the summer. One day at pickup, he invited a friend from his class to come to our house.  His friend seemed interested. Her mom and I agreed it would be nice to have a playdate, but never really made plans as we were getting the kids to the car. I am not an outgoing person, and I always prefer someone else to ask me to do something, rather than being the one...

Keep Reading

My Daughter Said “No” and I Listened

In: Kids
Young girl reading picture book on mother's lap

The other day, my daughter said no. Not quietly. Not hesitantly.Just a simple, confident “no.” And for a moment, I saw it happen. That instinct so many of us were taught to ignore. That pause where girls start to second-guess themselves. But she didn’t shrink. And I realized…I’m not raising her the way I was raised. I was raised to be polite.To be agreeable.To not make things uncomfortable. And while those things sound harmless on the surface, they come with an unspoken lesson. One that a lot of us learned early, without even realizing it. Be easy.Be likable.Be quiet if...

Keep Reading

A Letter To the “Extra” Moms

In: Kids
Mom and young son shooting off firework

This is for the moms who go above and beyond for their children, the “magic makers” and “childhood savers.” While moms are always giving boundless love and doing selfless acts for their kids, “extra” moms make motherhood sparkle. You constantly prioritize your child’s well-being and happiness—it is your number one focus. You are out there creating unforgettable moments that shape your family’s lives. You make birthdays unforgettable, complete with themes, elaborate food, and decorations, and lots of thought and loving time behind each to make every year as special as the last. You make each holiday a wonderland to behold...

Keep Reading

Ellis and the Puffers

In: Kids
Little boy holding dandelion puff flowers

Ellis is a dreamer, loves stories of every kind, library books, Star Wars, and all things magical. He especially loves stories from when his mom was little, and prefers that they be shared in her lap. One of his favorite stories from when his mom was a child is the one about puffers—dandelions that bring wishes, and the special square in the backyard that Grandpa left unmowed every year so Ellis’s mom and her big sister and two big brothers could always have access to their wish makers. Ellis made a point of gathering puffers every day on their walk...

Keep Reading

Strong-Willed Kids Are Not a Problem, They Just Need a Different Approach

In: Kids
Child with wide smile and arms out behind her

Some kids don’t just say “no.” They mean it. They resist direction. They question instructions. They want to do things their own way, even when it would be easier to follow along. These children are often labeled as stubborn. But what if that behavior is not the problem? What if it is the beginning of something important? Strong-willed children are not trying to be difficult. They are trying to make sense of the world in their own way. They want to understand why something matters before they commit to it. When they are told what to do without explanation, they...

Keep Reading

He Waited for Me By the Window and It Felt Like Love

In: Kids
Chair in office

Yesterday I went to urgent care. I had a sore throat, and my doctor had no openings. It was super disappointing because I actually had plans in the morning to see my grandson, and in the evening to go out of town for my sister’s birthday party. It was the rare occasion that everything was already set up. After my insanely long bout of pneumonia and being tethered to my nebulizer for so long, I was looking forward to it with enthusiasm. Of course, par for the course, life had other plans. Instead of being just a 24-hour nuisance, it...

Keep Reading

Feeding Neurodiverse Kids is a College-Level Course

In: Kids
Child eating bagel

Imagine a theoretical college course designed for parents called Proper Family Mealtimes. The class focuses on the core ingredients required to have a truly connected meal: dinner etiquette, polite conversation, menu planning, and hosting. Backed by scientific research, parents will gain knowledge of simple yet practical steps to make mealtime meaningful again. My family would fail this course. When it comes to etiquette, shirts and formal seating are optional. My children pass on polite conversation, swapping in slang like “bruh” whenever possible. Our meal plan rotates between five kid favorites with the option to reject them all, at which point...

Keep Reading

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little girl climbing outside

In most homes, the marks on the wall are a simple celebration of time passing. They are pencil lines that track how many inches a child has gained since their last birthday. But in our home, those marks represent a much deeper, more complex story. When your child lives with multiple hormone deficiencies, growth is never just “natural”—it is a carefully managed medical achievement. However, as any medical mom knows, the story doesn’t end at the top of the head. It begins deep inside, with a tiny gland that isn’t sending the right signals. Having multiple hormone deficiencies is often...

Keep Reading

Helping My Son Through Bullying Is Healing Something In Me Too

In: Kids
Family sitting on porch

Bedtime is when my kids tend to open up the most. The lights are low, the day is winding down, and their guard finally comes down with it. One night, my son told me he had been having a really hard time at school. Some boys had been so relentless that he left the cafeteria before finishing his breakfast, deciding it was better to go hungry than face more teasing. Because he’s such a kind boy with a big heart for others, seeing him face that kind of cruelty made my heart ache even more. It wasn’t the first time...

Keep Reading

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

In: Kids
Robotics kid watching competition

These robotics kids are going to shape our future. I think this every time I watch an elementary, middle school, or high school competition. My thoughts go back many years to when my middle child, who was six at the time, went with my husband to the high school robotics shop. They were only stopping in briefly to pick up some engineering kits, but my child quickly became captivated by what the “big kids” were doing. He stood quietly watching until one student walked over and asked if he would like to see what they were working on. My son,...

Keep Reading