When was the last time you dropped the M? No, not the mic . . . I’m sure you do that daily as a smart, capable mom.

I’m talking about M, as in the letter. The first letter of that job you cherish so deeply: Mother.

The minute you became a mother your world changed. Priorities shifted, different routines were formed, and life took on a whole new meaning. You’d never wish for your old life back, right? It’s wonderful, right? Just what you always envisioned and wanted, right?


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In many ways—most ways—yes, you’re a mom now, responsible for another life you created. That’s what defines you.

But . . . 

Let’s not forget about the woman you were before the radical transformation of motherhood rocked your world.

Listen up, mamas: sometimes we all need to drop the M.

Your most beloved title might be “Mother,” but what about the “Other” parts of you?

Let’s not forget you were an “other” before you were a “mother.” Who were you pre-mama? What were your passions? What made you tick? What put a smile on your face?

Motherhood does not erase your ability to still be you.

Sure, it’s harder now. There’s less time, more responsibilities, and offspring who need to be cared for. But here’s where it gets real—you’ve gotta make the time.

Go for a run. Read a book. Meet friends for dinner. Go to the movies. Plan a trip.

You’re no less of a worthy parent if your world doesn’t revolve solely around your child. Your role as a mom doesn’t diminish just because you have outside interests. It becomes enhanced! Share your hobbies with your children. Let them see you’re a whole person, one with personal pursuits and activities she enjoys. Show them moms are strong, empowered rock stars.

Then, watch as your “mother time” becomes more gratifying because of your “other time”.

It’s not always easy. And it often comes with a sizable helping of mom guilt . . . but trust me, it’s oh-so-important.   

We’re so quick to label ourselves: “I’m a mom.” Yes, you are, you glorious lady! But you’re other things too.

A yoga lover. A nature buff. A concert groupie. A travel bug.

Being a mother is a sacred honor and privilege that is not bestowed upon everyone. And for that, we should be thankful.

But you were someone before you earned that title.

So don’t forget about the other parts of you that can easily get pushed to the backburner of life. Every once in a while, remember to drop M.

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Jennifer Craven

Jen Craven writes about motherhood in all its complexities. She is also the author of the novels, "A Long Way From Blair Street," and "All That Shines and Whispers," which is set to publish in Februrary 2021. Jen's work has been featured in The Washington Post, Scary Mommy, Motherly, Her View From Home, Huffington Post, and more. Visit her at www.jencraven.com, or follow her on Instagram @jennifercravenauthor.