A Gift for Mom! 🤍

It is counterintuitive that chaos would bring order, but that is exactly what working from home has done for me. I know, I know. Kids are crazy—little vortexes of energy that suck all the concentration out of the room. But it wasn’t until a business trip took me out of town that I realized I need my children’s presence to force me to be productive.

It was the first time I had traveled alone in eight years and I approached it as such—a solo honeymoon for the work-from-home mom. It would be two whole nights away to network and be the professional adult human I once was before motherhood. But in the abundance of time, not just hours, but days to myself, I couldn’t do it. Without my kids at my heels, I could not work as well as I usually did. Somehow, time passed and I managed to get lessdone than on a day at home filled with trips to Target and the park and early mornings and late bedtimes. I needed their yammering and to know that I had to feed someone in twenty-three minutes. I need their storm and volume to get me going. And without it, I was most definitely the most unmotivated, the most at loose ends, I had ever been.

I never imagined I would stop working. I am a doer. I need incentives and projects and Post-It notes and a reason to visit Office Depot to purchase more Post-It notes. But when I found out I was pregnant with twins just after my first son turned one, I did the math. To continue working at my current job while also paying for daycare for three would actually cost me money. My paycheck would be in the negatives. So, I let go. I let go of the working-version of me and disappeared into the whirlwind of life at home with infant twins and an older son with special needs. In the beginning, when all three were still in diapers, it took all of me—every square inch of brain and physical space to keep us clothed and fed and relatively happy. And then a few years passed and we were all a little more mobile, a little more independent, and I started to think of my career again.

I began to work from home, just a little at first—five percent work and 95 percent parenting. I feared, in the beginning, that it simply wouldn’t be possible. The attention span of two-year-olds and a four-year-old is non-negotiable. But I worked in the early dark of morning, while everyone slept and then again at nap. I worked in the waiting area of the gym at a table in the sun while the kids spent an hour learning how to tumble in a space other than my living room. I grew used to these spurts of 10 or 30 minutes at a time. My mind trained itself to this rhythm and its intensity.

The kids are in preschool now two days a week, which should be every bit as freeing as it sounds. But when I have these chunks of time that I have not called my own in years, I lose the thread that kept me focused. With hours of uninterrupted work ahead, I flit from thing to thing like flipping channels. I decide to do laundry. I wander outside, stand on the deck, look at my toes and then up at the sky. I pull a few weeds. I pull up very fancy recipes on my phone that I will never make. Suddenly, an hour has passed and time is winding down faster toward school pickup and dinner and the more familiar commotion of my day. Only then can I begin to get things done. I need their dictatorial selves to put me on a deadline

This is the thing that every parent who works from home knows: working with your children in your periphery either sharpens your focus or obliterates it. This is the challenge, the constant tug-of-war between being “on duty” and “off duty”. But after years of at-home working, I am as surprised as anybody to find that my kids force me to be a better manager of my time. Because, as they like to remind me, when I’m on their clock I have no time to waste.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Jamie Sumner

Jamie Sumner is the author of the middle-grade novel, Roll with It. Her second and third middle-grade novels with Atheneum Books for Young Readers will be coming out in 2020 and 2021. She is also the author of the nonfiction book on motherhood, Unboundand the forthcoming bookEat, Sleep, Save the Worldfor parents of children with special needs. She is also mom to a son with cerebral palsy and she writes and speaks about disability in literature. She loves stories that celebrate the grit and beauty in all kids. She and her family live in Nashville, Tennessee. Connect with her at Jamie-Sumner.com   

Ask For the Playdate

In: Kids
Kids playing at park

When my only child was finishing up his first year of preschool a few years ago, I knew he would miss having friends to play with regularly over the summer. One day at pickup, he invited a friend from his class to come to our house.  His friend seemed interested. Her mom and I agreed it would be nice to have a playdate, but never really made plans as we were getting the kids to the car. I am not an outgoing person, and I always prefer someone else to ask me to do something, rather than being the one...

Keep Reading

My Daughter Said “No” and I Listened

In: Kids
Young girl reading picture book on mother's lap

The other day, my daughter said no. Not quietly. Not hesitantly.Just a simple, confident “no.” And for a moment, I saw it happen. That instinct so many of us were taught to ignore. That pause where girls start to second-guess themselves. But she didn’t shrink. And I realized…I’m not raising her the way I was raised. I was raised to be polite.To be agreeable.To not make things uncomfortable. And while those things sound harmless on the surface, they come with an unspoken lesson. One that a lot of us learned early, without even realizing it. Be easy.Be likable.Be quiet if...

Keep Reading

A Letter To the “Extra” Moms

In: Kids
Mom and young son shooting off firework

This is for the moms who go above and beyond for their children, the “magic makers” and “childhood savers.” While moms are always giving boundless love and doing selfless acts for their kids, “extra” moms make motherhood sparkle. You constantly prioritize your child’s well-being and happiness—it is your number one focus. You are out there creating unforgettable moments that shape your family’s lives. You make birthdays unforgettable, complete with themes, elaborate food, and decorations, and lots of thought and loving time behind each to make every year as special as the last. You make each holiday a wonderland to behold...

Keep Reading

Ellis and the Puffers

In: Kids
Little boy holding dandelion puff flowers

Ellis is a dreamer, loves stories of every kind, library books, Star Wars, and all things magical. He especially loves stories from when his mom was little, and prefers that they be shared in her lap. One of his favorite stories from when his mom was a child is the one about puffers—dandelions that bring wishes, and the special square in the backyard that Grandpa left unmowed every year so Ellis’s mom and her big sister and two big brothers could always have access to their wish makers. Ellis made a point of gathering puffers every day on their walk...

Keep Reading

Strong-Willed Kids Are Not a Problem, They Just Need a Different Approach

In: Kids
Child with wide smile and arms out behind her

Some kids don’t just say “no.” They mean it. They resist direction. They question instructions. They want to do things their own way, even when it would be easier to follow along. These children are often labeled as stubborn. But what if that behavior is not the problem? What if it is the beginning of something important? Strong-willed children are not trying to be difficult. They are trying to make sense of the world in their own way. They want to understand why something matters before they commit to it. When they are told what to do without explanation, they...

Keep Reading

He Waited for Me By the Window and It Felt Like Love

In: Kids
Chair in office

Yesterday I went to urgent care. I had a sore throat, and my doctor had no openings. It was super disappointing because I actually had plans in the morning to see my grandson, and in the evening to go out of town for my sister’s birthday party. It was the rare occasion that everything was already set up. After my insanely long bout of pneumonia and being tethered to my nebulizer for so long, I was looking forward to it with enthusiasm. Of course, par for the course, life had other plans. Instead of being just a 24-hour nuisance, it...

Keep Reading

Feeding Neurodiverse Kids is a College-Level Course

In: Kids
Child eating bagel

Imagine a theoretical college course designed for parents called Proper Family Mealtimes. The class focuses on the core ingredients required to have a truly connected meal: dinner etiquette, polite conversation, menu planning, and hosting. Backed by scientific research, parents will gain knowledge of simple yet practical steps to make mealtime meaningful again. My family would fail this course. When it comes to etiquette, shirts and formal seating are optional. My children pass on polite conversation, swapping in slang like “bruh” whenever possible. Our meal plan rotates between five kid favorites with the option to reject them all, at which point...

Keep Reading

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little girl climbing outside

In most homes, the marks on the wall are a simple celebration of time passing. They are pencil lines that track how many inches a child has gained since their last birthday. But in our home, those marks represent a much deeper, more complex story. When your child lives with multiple hormone deficiencies, growth is never just “natural”—it is a carefully managed medical achievement. However, as any medical mom knows, the story doesn’t end at the top of the head. It begins deep inside, with a tiny gland that isn’t sending the right signals. Having multiple hormone deficiencies is often...

Keep Reading

Helping My Son Through Bullying Is Healing Something In Me Too

In: Kids
Family sitting on porch

Bedtime is when my kids tend to open up the most. The lights are low, the day is winding down, and their guard finally comes down with it. One night, my son told me he had been having a really hard time at school. Some boys had been so relentless that he left the cafeteria before finishing his breakfast, deciding it was better to go hungry than face more teasing. Because he’s such a kind boy with a big heart for others, seeing him face that kind of cruelty made my heart ache even more. It wasn’t the first time...

Keep Reading

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

In: Kids
Robotics kid watching competition

These robotics kids are going to shape our future. I think this every time I watch an elementary, middle school, or high school competition. My thoughts go back many years to when my middle child, who was six at the time, went with my husband to the high school robotics shop. They were only stopping in briefly to pick up some engineering kits, but my child quickly became captivated by what the “big kids” were doing. He stood quietly watching until one student walked over and asked if he would like to see what they were working on. My son,...

Keep Reading