So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

It happened on a completely normal morning about three months after my second son was born. As I laid him down in his crib for a nap, I suddenly felt like I was going to pass out. My heart started racing and wouldn’t slow down. I started to shake. I had never felt anything like this before, and I honestly wondered if I was having a heart attack.

What I didn’t know at the time was that I was having pretty classic symptoms of a panic attack. My stress level had been creeping up for weeks, and that, mixed with lingering postpartum hormones was enough to throw me completely off-kilter.

Over the next month, I experienced more of these episodes, though never as severe as the first. It was the first time in my life when I couldn’t just positively think my way out of what I was experiencing. I didn’t really want to admit that I needed help, but after talking with a friend, she convinced me to reach out to my doctor. I hated how out of control I felt.

A significant source of my stress originated from being overwhelmed with a toddler and a young baby and feeling like I was failing as a mother. My doctor recommended going to a group counseling class as part of my treatment. At the end of the final session, the counselor said something about how none of us make it through childhood without some kind of emotional injury. Her intent (I think) was to make us all feel better, but this sent my brain into a whirlwind of thoughts about how much I might have already unintentionally messed up my kids.

Although this period of stress and anxiety was almost four years ago, I still struggle with feelings of not being a good enough mom. I still worry about the choices I am making every day as a parent, and how they are affecting my sons.

But the other night, a thought popped into my head. Perhaps God placed it there, because it felt like it came out of nowhere.

Is it possible that all I am doing and all that I am is actually, in fact, enough?

It was such a freeing thought, so I pondered it for a while. And then I let other thoughts gather.

Is it possible that I actually am telling my kids “I love you” enough?

Is it possible that even though I make mistakes, the steps I take to right my wrongs are enough?

Is it possible that I might not have this on my own, but God has my back every step of the way?

Is it possible that I’m being a little too hard on myself?

Is it possible that even though I lose my temper and yell, my kids still know deep in their souls how fiercely I love them?

Is it possible that my boys will one day be able to reminisce about how happy their childhood was?

Is it possible that the hugs and kisses and smiles and laughs are plentiful enough to fill up their cups on a daily basis?

Is it possible that my kids are not keeping a tally of my mistakes, but rather, are forgetting about them almost instantly?

It is possible that I am the perfect mom for them, despite my imperfections?

How freeing would it be to believe that I am actually not even close to failing my kids?

How freeing would it be to let go of some of the fear? How freeing would it be to say “I’m a dang good mom” and truly believe it?

Maybe the pressure I have been putting on myself is a weight I was never meant to carry.

Is it possible that all I am doing and all that I am is actually, in fact, enough?

Maybe just maybe, I can start to believe that not only is this possible, it is probable.

How freeing that would be.

Mary Ann Blair

Mary Ann Blair is a stay-at-home mom living in the Pacific Northwest with her two little gentlemen and hubs. She loves connecting with other parents who like to keep it real! Her work has been published on Her View From Home, Motherly, A Fine Parent, Perfection Pending, That’s Inappropriate, Pregnant Chicken, Sammiches and Psych Meds, Red Tricycle and in Chicken Soup For the Soul. She can be found at or on Facebook at Mary Ann Blair, Writer.

I’m the Quiet Mom

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother holding baby, smiling, black-and-white photo

I’m the quiet mom. The shy mom. The highly introverted mom. The mom who doesn’t do very well in social situations. The mom who tries to be social but usually comes off as a little awkward. I don’t overly like this about myself. But it’s who I am. I could try to change this about myself. I could try to be the outgoing mom. The social mom. The loud and extroverted mom. And I have tried. However, completely changing who a person is at heart is not something that can be easily done. Complete change is also very unlikely to...

Keep Reading

These Are the Sick Years

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mom kissing head of sick toddler

I’m still in the trenches of toddlerhood, and yet, I already know I will look back on my daughter’s preschool years with affection for what it is: sweet, fun, curious, and undeniably precious. What I won’t miss about this stage is that it’s germy. SO germy. The preschool years bring endless crud into our home. Crud that is heartbreaking when your beloved child’s body is working hard to fight it off, but that also works its way into other bodies. The adults in the home who have jobs and responsibilities, run the entire household and have just endured the emotional...

Keep Reading

One Day You’ll Have Big Girl Tears, So I’ll Hold You Today

In: Motherhood
Mother holding infant daughter, color photo

Your little eyes are swollen tonight from crying, but I know how to comfort you. I hold you close, hum one of your favorite songs, and nurse the pain away until your breathing slows. Tonight, your tears are from teething pains and being overly tired, but I know one day, probably in a future that will come faster than I can anticipate, they’ll be swollen for big girl reasons. Fights with friends, heartbreak, championship losses, homework stress, the inevitable mother-daughter arguments.  I hope in those times I will know the ways to comfort you, that I can still ease some...

Keep Reading

You’re Not a Bad Mom, You’re a Work in Progress

In: Motherhood
Mom hugging child

I’m kind of hard on myself as a mom. In fact, most days if I were to grade myself on some sort of official motherhood report card, I think I’d give myself a “Needs Improvement,” which isn’t all bad. Nobody’s perfect, and the idea of working on being a better mom is great—important even—but I’m realizing more and more that when I see myself as a mom, I tend to focus on the bad. The things that need improving. All the little mistakes add up, and overall, I end up feeling like a bad mom. Nobody tells me this. It’s...

Keep Reading

I’m Giving My Kids the Summer Fun I Never Had

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two boys playing in the waves on the beach, color photo

I love that my kids hate school. Stay with me here . . . Yes, I absolutely love that year after year, my boys cannot wait to ditch school for summer break, that they endlessly bemoan the academic year and cannot wait for June.  I love it because it is normal. I love it because it means they enjoy being at home and implies that I make summers fun for them, or, rather, allow summers to be fun for them. I love it because I always dreaded summers when I was growing up. Dreaded them with knots in my stomach...

Keep Reading

I Would Relive Every Moment of Sorrow Just To Hold You

In: Baby, Motherhood
Mother holding infant, black-and-white photo

As I sat there rocking my child to sleep, I caught my mind wandering to the past. Not my recent past but my before . . . Before my son was born. Before my stressful pregnancy. Before my positive pregnancy test. Before . . . when I was praying every day for a miracle—six years back. Infertility is a messy journey that few (and many at the same time) are chosen to take. It’s lonely and heartbreaking and dark and will make you hate yourself at times. You feel helplessness and anger and despair. RELATED: This is Infertility Your relationships...

Keep Reading

So God Made a Mother With a Willing Heart

In: Motherhood
Mother and daughter smiling, color photo

You may have heard it said that God only gives special children to special parents.   But, when God made the mother of a child who has special needs, the Lord did not need a special mother, the Lord needed a mother who was willing. God needed a woman who would say yes to an assignment that many choose not to accept. The Lord knew she wouldn’t feel qualified to raise a child with special needs, but that didn’t matter because God would equip her every step of the way. Since there is no such thing as a perfect mother,...

Keep Reading

Mothering One Day at a Time

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother holding daughter in matching shirts, color photo

As I sat with my growing belly, full of anticipation for the arrival of my firstborn, the possibilities were endless for this little girl. Maybe she would lean toward the arts and be a dancer, writer, or musician. Or maybe she would take after her great-granddad and become a scientist. And maybe one day she would be a mother too. Dreaming about the future was fun and exciting. But then she surprised us with an at-birth Down syndrome diagnosis. Special needs were never included in my dreaming sessions.    All of the sudden, my hopes and dreams for this new...

Keep Reading

Fall into the Arms of Jesus, Little One

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Child walking

I have three younger brothers, so I know how crazy and wild boys can be. Lots of falls, cuts, scrapes, bruises, broken bones, and even a couple of head stitches. My husband has two younger brothers. He’d always tell how they used to jump from the banister down two floors onto the glass coffee table. Why anyone would do that, I have no idea. Pure madness and chaos.  Right now, I have a little baby boy who’s only seven months, but I know he will probably be just as wild as his uncles and dad. But that doesn’t mean I’m...

Keep Reading

You Don’t Have to Lose Yourself to Be a Good Mom

In: Living, Motherhood
Woman brushing wet hair

There is nothing wrong with losing yourself in motherhood. Diving in head first, serving your kids and spouse endlessly, never asking for a break, being proud for providing an amazing childhood for your kids, and allowing mom to become your entire identity. But what if you don’t want that?  When did this become the standard of motherhood we are all expected to achieve? Why does society say the best mom is the one that’s 110% physically and emotionally available for her kids all the time and never does anything for herself? Why are you less of a mom if you...

Keep Reading

5 Secrets to the

BEST Summer Ever!


Creating simple summer memories

with your kids that will  last a lifetime