Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

I’m not a lazy mom, but you might think I am.

Our culture seems to praise anxiety and perfectionism-induced performance, and that’s no different when it comes to motherhood.

I’ve been through some trauma. I’ve experienced years of anxiety and depression, and I homeschool six kids.

We are slow movers. Each kid is allowed to pick one extra-curricular activity (two for my middle schoolers) for the entire calendar year. We do church, homeschool co-op, and that’s about it.

Free play is encouraged. Screens are limited but generously allowed after school and chores (as well as at least an hour outside if the weather is nice) are completed.

We sit around a dinner table most nights, and we don’t rush.

RELATED: Why Family Dinner Matters

My house is not immaculate. I don’t spend a lot of time making things look nice. I don’t spend hours a day prepping for a gourmet dinner.

I rest. A lot.

Whether it’s reading a book, watching a crime documentary, or sorting clothes to my favorite podcastresting is an essential in my life.

My extroverted, energetic, mentally healthy husband with a semi-flexible schedule runs appointments so he can spend one-on-one time with the kids (and so I don’t have to load up a van with a gaggle of children mid-school day). He enjoys cooking and shares this responsibility with me because he says it’s productive and he doesn’t get to see much finished or completed in his job on a day-to-day basis.

We lighten each other’s load frequently.

Sadly, extended family and friends have questioned or made comments about how we roll.

And, honestly, it really affects me.

First, it angers me. When people visit, especially people connected more so to him, his pastor-heart desires to serve them. He plans the meals and/or activities, sometimes before I can take a breath, because he wants to. It fuels and energizes him. But there are those who refuse to see that and put what I’m not doing on an imaginary checklist.

They don’t see the regular days of our lives. They don’t see the effort I put into helping my kids connect emotionally or process their feelings or learn to read or grasp a new math concept. They don’t see me as a short-order lunch cook or working on my writing career or putting Band-Aids on boo-boos, or holding a hurt child while trying to teach homonyms.

Yes, I rest. Yes, I retreat.

RELATED: I’m a Better Mom When I Get a Break

The beautiful part about how I’ve chosen to tackle motherhood, though, is that I also heal. I see the little microscopic joys that others miss.

My lack of perfection pursuit teaches my kids that marriage is a partnership and that love, safety, dishes, and laundry are the only real necessities when tragedy or stress comes knocking on our door.

While this might be shocking to some, I’d rather spend the evening playing silly video games with my kids while sharing playful punches and laughs than driving and rushing and hurrying everyone all the time.

I am not lazy, but friend, you may think I am.

Nonetheless, our lives will keep moving slowly . . . and I think we’ll be just fineeven better than that.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Crystal Fulmer

I am a mother of three biological children and an adopted sibling set of three, a homeschooler, a pastor's wife, a former teacher, and a group-home houseparent. I am a trauma and mental illness survivor. I love to write for encouragement, and I've been finally been convinced to write and publish a book, The Grace of Getting Up, now available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble online, and Westbow Press online bookstore. Please join me on this journey on FB or insta @thegraceofgettingup.

Sometimes Depression Looks Like Dirty Dishes in the Sink

In: Motherhood
Dirty dishes in kitchen

Depression and anxiety are real. They aren’t physical, but you can see them if you look close enough. Depression is the dirty dishes left in the sink for far too long because lack of motivation to tackle them. Depression is her silence. It’s how she doesn’t answer texts and calls from her friends and family because she feels like everyone hates her. RELATED: My Anxiety Makes Me Feel Like I Fail Over and Over Again Depression is her trying so hard. It’s her lack of genuine smiles, laughs, and warmth even for the things that usually make her smile, like...

Keep Reading

I Hope I Loved You Enough Today

In: Kids, Motherhood
child sleeping www.herviewfromhome.com

As you lie sleeping in your bed, the weight of today lifts from my shoulders. The struggles of the day are quickly forgotten and I find myself looking at you in wonder. Memorizing your face and the dimples in your fingers. I want to rewind the day and tell you how good you did. How proud I am of you. I hope that I loved you enough today. As I drive you to school, I catch a glimpse of your sweet face staring back at me in the rear view. I replay the morning and find myself wondering. Did I...

Keep Reading

My Anxiety Makes Me Feel Like I Fail Over and Over Again

In: Motherhood

I’m so tired of trying so hard. “Hey honey, why don’t you come and just sit down and relax a little,” my husband asked as I was rummaging around in the kitchen cabinets. I huffed under my breath at him. “I can’t, I just can’t,” I replied. “There’s just too much to do.” “So much that you can’t come and sit down with me for five minutes?” He pushed a little harder. I smacked the washcloth down on the counter and whipped around at him. “No, actually I can’t. Because I have to get all of the leftovers put away...

Keep Reading