Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

I’m so tired of trying so hard.

“Hey honey, why don’t you come and just sit down and relax a little,” my husband asked as I was rummaging around in the kitchen cabinets.

I huffed under my breath at him. “I can’t, I just can’t,” I replied. “There’s just too much to do.

“So much that you can’t come and sit down with me for five minutes?” He pushed a little harder.

I smacked the washcloth down on the counter and whipped around at him. “No, actually I can’t. Because I have to get all of the leftovers put away and get these pots and pans soaking. Then I have to go and put the kids’ sheets in the dryer so I can make sure they are dry before bedtime. Also, we’re out of milk so I need to run into town before the grocery store closes. Oh, and we’re out of toilet paper, too. And the kids have been crying all day, I can’t even think straight or remember anything. Oh my gosh, did I have that meeting for church tonight? Holy crap, I can’t do all of this!” I leaned up against the counter and began to cry.

RELATED: Mommy Has Anxiety

There was a few moments of silence before I heard his footsteps coming towards me. I looked up just in time to see him spread his arms and wrap them around me.

“I’m so sorry. I’m not mad at you. I’m just so overwhelmed. I’m tired of  doing everything and feeling like I can’t juggle it all.” I paused. “I’m just so sick of trying so hard.”

He let me cry for a few minutes.

“You know you don’t have to do it all, right? It’s all going to still be here tomorrow. Let’s just leave some of it and we can get it in the morning,” he said.

“That’s just the thing, IT’S ALL GOING TO BE HERE AGAIN TOMORROW! It’s never ending! I can’t keep up!” I cried.

My husband looked me in the eyes. “You go and switch out the laundry and just go take a few minutes and be by yourself. Take a few deep breaths. Take half of your anxiety pill if you need it. I’ll finish up these dishes, we can put the kids to bed, and then we can sit for a bit.”

That was it. I was just done. Have you ever felt this way ladies?? Please tell me I’m not alone.

You see here’s the thing. I am overwhelmed enough as it is as the woman of our household. I just don’t feel like I can always keep up. But add my anxiety into the mix and you’ve got the recipe for a flipping hot mess. And after years of trying so hard, I’ve become tired of trying so hard. And I can’t do it anymore.

RELATED: When Motherhood is Absolutely Defeating

I’m learning to ask for help. I’m learning to accept help. I’m learning how to manage my anxiety with prayer and Xanax. I’m figuring out what my limits are and when to let things just be undone. I’m recognizing when I need to slow down and JUST BE with my family. But most importantly I’m learning how to say no…

To myself.

No to allowing myself to try so hard. Because when I try that hard, I fall even harder. And I’m tired of falling, aren’t you friend?

Want to read more from this author? Her book, [easyazon_link identifier=”B07NMTHKWH” locale=”US” tag=”herview16-20″]Midnight Lullabies[/easyazon_link], is full of encouragement for moms. Don’t have time to sit and read? You can [easyazon_link identifier=”B07NMTHKWH” locale=”US” tag=”herview16-20″]listen here, on Audible[/easyazon_link].

[easyazon_image align=”none” height=”160″ identifier=”1546035192″ locale=”US” src=”https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51YYk50LlIL._SL160_.jpg” tag=”herview16-20″ width=”105″]

This article originally appeared on From Blacktop to Dirt Road

Want more stories of love, family, and faith from the heart of every home, delivered straight to you? Sign up here! 

Recommendations in this post contain affiliate links. Her View From Home may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Lauren Eberspacher

I'm Lauren and I'm a work-in-progress farmer's wife, coffee addict, follower of Jesus and a recovering perfectionist. When I don't have my three kids attached at my hip, you can find me bringing meals into the fields, dancing in my kitchen, making our house a home, and chatting over a piece of pie with my girl friends. I'm doing my best to live my life intentionally seeking all that God has for me and my family. Follow me at: www.fromblacktoptodirtroad.com From Blacktop to Dirt Road on Facebook laurenspach on Instagram

Dear Child, You Are Not Responsible for How Anyone Else Feels about You

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Teen girl looking in the mirror putting on earrings

Dear kiddo, I have so many dreams for you. A million hopes and desires run through my mind every day on a never-ending loop, along with worries and fears, and so, so much prayer. Sometimes, it feels like my happiness is tied with ropes of steel to yours. And yet, the truth is, there are times you disappoint me. You will continue to disappoint me as you grow and make your own choices and take different paths than the ones I have imagined for you. But I’m going to tell you a secret (although I suspect you already know): My...

Keep Reading

Hey Mom, It’s Okay Not to Be Perfect

In: Motherhood
Mother with head in hands and child jumping on couch nearby

Have you ever walked into a room, to an event, or a meeting, where you immediately felt out of place? As if you had come into a foreign space where you were not worthy, or just didn’t belong among the other mothers in the room? Maybe you were not dressed the part. Your hair may have fallen in messy strands around your face, or you may not have taken the time to put on a full face of makeup as the other women in the room had. Maybe your clothing choice of the day was just not quite as put...

Keep Reading

Now I Know How a Mother Is Made

In: Motherhood
Husband, wife, and young son, color photo

It’s been almost three years now, but I can still remember how your 8-pound body felt in my arms. Night after night as we tried to sleep, I remember your sounds, your movements, and your tiny hands. I gave it my all but still felt I fell short. You see sweet little one, you may have been brand new to this world, but so was I. The day you were born, a mother was born too. Things didn’t always go according to plan. It’s hard when you try your best, but you just can’t get there. So many new things...

Keep Reading

I’m Praying for My Teenager in These Challenging Years

In: Faith, Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy holding a smartphone and wearing headphones

In my mid-40s, I began to long for a baby. We didn’t get much encouragement from friends and family. My husband is a high-functioning quadriplegic, and I was considered way too old to start a family. But our marriage was stable, we were used to obstacles, we were financially prepared, emotionally experienced, and our careers were established. I began to paint my own sublime mental portrait of parenting tranquility. What could go wrong? At 48, I delivered a healthy baby boy, and he was perfect. We adored him. The baby we had longed for and prayed for, we had. And...

Keep Reading

Going to Church with Kids is Hard but We’ll Keep Showing Up

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding young daughter in church

Going to church is hard with young kids. It used to be something I looked forward to. It’s something I’ve always valued deeply and needed desperately. It’s the one place that will always be home regardless of what location or building it’s in or what people attend. Church is my sanctuary. But it’s become a battle with the kids’ resistance, my tired mind and body, and my lack of ability to actually listen to the sermon. Going to church is hard with young kids. It’s become normal for me to lie down in bed on Saturday night thinking, with dread,...

Keep Reading

When Motherhood Feels Like a Limitation

In: Faith, Motherhood
Ruth Chou Simons holding book

Twenty-one years ago, my husband Troy and I welcomed our first son into the world. Two years later, I gave birth to another boy. And again two years later, and again two years after that. A fifth boy joined our family another two years later, and a final son was born 11 years after we began our parenting journey. If you were counting, you’re not mistaken—that’s six sons in just over a decade. We were overjoyed and more than a little exhausted. I remember feeling frustrated with the limitations of the little years with young children when I was a...

Keep Reading

I Obsessed over Her Heartbeat Because She’s My Rainbow Baby

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Mother and teen daughter with ice cream cones, color photo

I delivered a stillborn sleeping baby boy five years before my rainbow baby. I carried this sweet baby boy for seven whole months with no indication that he wouldn’t live. Listening to his heartbeat at each prenatal visit until one day there was no heartbeat to hear. It crushed me. ”I’m sorry but your baby is dead,” are words I’ll never be able to unhear. And because of these words, I had no words. For what felt like weeks, I spoke only in tears as they streamed down my cheeks. But I know it couldn’t have been that long. Because...

Keep Reading

Here on the Island of Autism Parenting

In: Motherhood
Son on dad's shoulders looking at sunset over water

Hey, you. Yes, you there: mom to a kid on the spectrum. Well, you and I know they’re so much more than that. But sometimes those few words seem so all-consuming. So defining. So defeating. I see you when you’re done. That was me earlier today. I had to send a picture of a broken windshield to my husband. I prefaced the picture with the text, “You’re going to be so mad.” And you know what? He saw the picture, read my text, and replied, “I love you. The windshield can be fixed. Don’t worry. Just come home.” I think,...

Keep Reading

Round 2 in the Passenger Seat is Even Harder

In: Motherhood, Teen
Teen boy behind the wheel, color photo

Here I am, once again, in the passenger seat. The driver’s side mirrors are adjusted a little higher. The seat is moved back to fit his growing teenage limbs. The rearview mirror is no longer tilted to see what’s going on in the backseat. Yellow stickers screaming “Student Driver,” are plastered to the sides of the car. The smile on his face is noticeable. The fear in mine is hard to hide. These are big moments for both of us. For him, it’s the beginning of freedom. Exiting the sidestreets of youth and accelerating full speed into the open road...

Keep Reading

We’re Walking the Road of Twin Loss Together

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Mother and son walk along beach holding hands

He climbed into our bed last week, holding the teddy bear that came home in his twin brother’s hospital grief box almost 10 years earlier. “Mom, I really miss my brother. And do you see that picture of me over there with you, me and his picture in your belly? It makes me really, really sad when I look at it.” A week later, he was having a bad day and said, “I wish I could trade places with my brother.” No, he’s not disturbed or mentally ill. He’s a happy-go-lucky little boy who is grieving the brother who grew...

Keep Reading