Life after dealing with death is hard. I’m no longer the person I used to be. I’m motherless. This motherless life is hard.

I need time to grieve, but I also need time to find myself again. I need time to mourn the life I’ll never have anymore. I need time to process. I need time to process the fact that my mother is gone. I’ll never have new memories. My kids will never have new memories and people expect us to pick ourselves back up.

I can’t pick myself back up quickly after losing my mom. I’m still trying to figure out what that life is.

I’m not who I was; I never will be. I have to figure out how to navigate life when I no longer have someone I depended so heavily on.

I lost a mom. I lost a friend. My kids lost a grandmother and caregiver. My dad lost a partner. My husband lost a mother-in-law. Our lives just can’t move on. We have to piece a life back together that has fallen apart.

The thing with grief is we have to face it. Grief isn’t an overnight process, it takes time. There will be tears, depression, sorrow, and sadness.

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There will be a day when I will no longer grieve, but instead, rejoice. One day I will be able to find joy in this sorrow and loss just as Job did. Job lost everything and he still rose above it all.

My day is coming.

Until then, be patient with me. I don’t know who I am right now. The only thing I’m sure of is that my mother is gone and I’m still mourning.