As a child, I remember playing the game of chicken when someone would twist the skin of my forearms so tightly my tan skin would turn bright red and purple. To get the person to stop, you had to say “when.” And there was always a friend taunting me in a singsong voice: “All you have to do is say when.” With that word, that one syllable, the pain would stop—but I wanted to hold out as long as possible to show my incredible pain tolerance. (Why are games like this fun, by the way?)
As an adult, saying “when” looks different. I say things like:
When I get more sleep, I will . . .
When my kids are older, I can . . .
When I’m not so busy, I’ll be able to . . .
When became an excuse to be stuck. To be immobile in life. To live in survival mode. To feel helpless. I’m saying “When . . .” and waiting for some future perfection that never comes. So I stay stuck.
But God has been speaking to me about His “when.”
When you listen . . .
When you say yes . . .
When you’re ready to do it My way . . .
What if there is no perfect “when,” no perfect time, except for His? And what if the season or situation, the dream we are waiting for is actually waiting for us?
I want to be unstuck. I want to be free of timelines and expectations, so God, I say “When.” I want your “when.” I surrender. I am ready. I want to be free of the pain of my pride and not wanting to give in to You.”
Now I am ready. Now I am listening. Now. Let’s do this now. Use me now. There’s never been a better moment.
And suddenly, the pressure is gone. The pain leaves. And instead of losing the game by saying “when,” it frees me.