It’s another school morning and I lie awake staring at my ceiling, wondering if I’ve made the wrong choice. There’s no school bus for us this year. No supply list to bring to class. No checking for teachers or scanning desks for familiar friends.
In our all-boy home, where energy runs wild, I never thought I would choose to homeschool my kids. But here we are in 2020—where the waves of uncertainty keep crashing. None of us thought we would be here, and rarely anyone knows exactly what to do.
We all feel like we have made wrong choices.
Raising little humans is an imperfect journey. No mama is flawless and no family is free from trials. Still, making decisions in a hurting world, with a pandemic as a backdrop, makes parenthood that much harder.
But I want to speak some freedom into your mama soul today, and I pray this truth sticks.
We don’t have to be the one who makes sure everything turns out right.
We don’t have to be the one who takes on all the pressure.
We don’t need to be the savior of our children’s changing stories.
We can let go of that heavy responsibility and take a long and needed breath. It’s time we lay down our self-imposed expectations and pass our concerns over to the One who holds our kids and cares in the center of His nail-scarred hands.
Jesus sees us and intercedes for us. He understands what it’s like carry the weight of the world. He’s familiar with burden-bearing and He wants to bear the entirety of ours. He knows we treasure our babies. He knows we want to cover their needs. And so, He offers us His promise . . . to guide, to provide, to protect.
God values our children more than life, to the point of taking on death for the sake of being with the ones He’s made. The gospel shows just how much God cares for us. It shows just how far He will go to make things right.
With the barrage of information being poured into our minds, it’s crucial we shift our eyes toward what will always be.
Jesus understood something sacred about decision-making. It was the way He lived every day of His earthly life. After speaking to a large crowd of worried and confused followers, Jesus says to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33 ESV). Every single thing would be taken care of as long as they made the most important decision there was—to seek out the kingdom of God and His righteousness.
Not our good deeds or efforts.
Not our plans or ways.
We are told to search for the Kingdom in a world that is not yet fully restored and made new. But it can be found in Christ and what He has done on the cross. It can be experienced as we choose to make His righteousness our own. It can be walked out as we let God lead our lives and entrust the outcomes to Him.
As we let go and let God steer our families’ paths in love, we can be certain He will keep His promise to take care of every other need.
Whether that be finances, food, or even schooling, God is moving and making a path forward toward His purpose. Keeping our sight fixed on our Savior helps the rest of the decisions fall into place.
And even if we make a few wrong ones along the way, our Creator is big enough to bring goodness and glory out of every person’s story, and provide brand new mercies at the start of each day.
It’s OK if you feel like you’ve made the wrong choice, mama. I wonder the same most days. As long as we teach our kids to follow and trust our King, we can know we are doing our best. We are doing the right and righteous thing.
All the rest is up to Him.