I wouldn’t be a mama if it wasn’t for you. In fact, being a mama was just a dream I had before we met.

I never thought it would actually happen. When I look in our kids’ eyes now, I am so glad you smiled at me that day all those years ago, that your cheeks turned a brighter shade of red when you first saw me.

That we carried that couch downstairs at your parents’ house. There was a bed for us to sit on, but somehow you knew I would feel more comfortable sitting next to you on that couch.

We laugh about it now of course, but you were new to me, I was new to you, and you respected my boundaries.

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I am so glad you asked for permission to hug me after our first date. When I said yes, you picked me up outside my parent’s door and spun me around in a big circle like a princess.

It’s the same way you pick up our daughter and hug her now. For a brief moment, I imagined it back then. 

After two weeks of dating, you told me you always wanted kids. I thought you were crazy, but you were serious. You wanted kids since you were 18. I was terrified at the thought of having kids, but not you, you were confident and calm.

I am so glad that after 11 months of dating, you asked my father’s permission to marry me in our local grocery store. I can almost imagine how nerve-racking it was, seeing him walk down the aisle and thinking, this is it, I need to ask him if I can walk his daughter down the aisle.

Our relationship has never been perfect, don’t get me wrong. They say opposites attract, but we have also learned long ago that opposites don’t always get along. I know now it was our stubborn personalities that got us through the thick of three high-risk pregnancies.

It is our differences that come together to make us better.

In fact, after all of our scary experiences with our first son, I said I was done. We delivered him safely, and I vowed to be a one-kid mom. I was so scared to try again, but you were confident and calm. I look at our second now and can’t imagine life without her.

We had a girl and a boy and surely that was enough. Everyone told us our family was complete. The doctor asked if we were sure we were done after the second C-section, but we looked into each other’s eyes and hesitated.

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You never asked me about a third, you knew I was exhausted, I knew you really wanted three kids. You came home from work one day, and I was standing in the doorway, I was confident and calm.

“Let’s have another one right now!” I said. Your eyes lit up, and you weren’t sure I was serious.

But when I look at our second son now, I can’t imagine life without him. I learned from you all along, your confidence and calmness in regards to becoming a “da-da,” I needed more of that, and I’m so grateful you showed me how because I wouldn’t be a mama if it wasn’t for you.

Kali Dawson

Kali is a School Teacher, Pilates Instructor, Mama of two young children and a beautiful 2020 Baby. She is Married to her real-life Superhero. When she's not holding small hands or looking for raised hands you will find her writing fervently about faith and family. To read more, you can find her on Facebook at: Faith, Family, Freelance.