So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

Dear Uterus,

Well, at the age of 33, I really didn’t think I’d have to say goodbye so soon. But I’ll also say this– it is what it is. Whether I’m 33 or 53, it is what it is. Honestly, you’ve grown to be quite the pain recently and it seems you’re as done with me as I am with you. So it is time to go our separate ways. But there is that one thing…

We will go our separate ways and your life is complete, but I’ll get my life back. It’s a bittersweet ending.

The back pain and the – ah hem – other symptoms have reached the point of intolerance. My best friends lately are my heating pad and hydrocodone, and that’s just plain sad. Nobody should have to live like this, and it’s clear you want out. So out you go.

A few friends of mine, and even the OBGYN, have warned me I may go through a period of loss. Apparently, some women experience a feeling of the loss of womanhood. While I understand and would never diminish the feelings of another woman, I don’t foresee those feelings happening for me.

The function or malfunction of my uterus and reproductive organs does not make me any more or less of a woman.

Had you, dear uterus, not given me two beautiful boys biologically, adoption would have made our family. That was our go-to years ago anyway when we were made to believe reproducing ourselves would be difficult if not impossible. We were surprised and thrilled as Hudson and Asher were clearly meant to be ours. So while I will never say never to the feeling of loss, I must say that I’ll gladly look back on our happy days together and cherish those. 

Mommy and Hudson the night before his birth in September 2006.
Mommy and Asher (along with proud big brother, Hudson) at 8 months pregnant in April of 2009.

Look at what you have given me. Just look. How could I possibly be mad at you for feeling as though you’ve done your job? You have. And I thank you.

So, dear Uterus, it’s farewell. And I’ll be okay. The doctor says I’ll have my energy back, my pain and pressure will likely vanish, and the other stuff, well, let’s just say I’m excited for all the positives that will come from this. Thank you for my beautiful boys. You had a good run. Just look at them now.

Hudson and daddy, July 4, 2017.
Asher and daddy, July 4, 2017.

So I thank you, dear Uterus, and wish you well. I’ll concentrate on the good times we had. Farewell, my old friend.

With gratitude,

Bailey

Bailey Koch

Bailey Koch is an advocate for those who can't easily advocate for themselves in every way. Married to her hottie hubby, whom has survived 5+ suicide attempts, and mom to two teenage boys, the oldest with High Functioning Autism and youngest with Epilepsy, Bailey is passionate about mental health and parenting through the messy realities. Additionally, Bailey is a Doctor of Special Education and works as an instructor at the University of Nebraska at Kearney preparing future special educators to be advocates for the learning of all. Bailey and her husband, Jeremy, have written and published two books. "Never Alone: A Husband and Wife's Journey with Depression and Faith" details their struggles with severe depression and the journey toward understanding their purpose, accepting help, and finding faith. "When the House Feels Sad: Helping You Understand Depression" is written for families, at a child's level, to open up a conversation about the reality of Depression. Follow their journey, the triumphs and the challenges, on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/anchoringhopeformentalhealth and Instagram at @anchoringhopeformentalhealth.

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