Health Motherhood

Impending Hysterectomy: A Farewell Letter to My Old Friend

Impending Hysterectomy: A Farewell Letter to My Old Friend www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Bailey Koch

Dear Uterus,

Well, at the age of 33, I really didn’t think I’d have to say goodbye so soon. But I’ll also say this– it is what it is. Whether I’m 33 or 53, it is what it is. Honestly, you’ve grown to be quite the pain recently and it seems you’re as done with me as I am with you. So it is time to go our separate ways. But there is that one thing…

We will go our separate ways and your life is complete, but I’ll get my life back. It’s a bittersweet ending.

The back pain and the – ah hem – other symptoms have reached the point of intolerance. My best friends lately are my heating pad and hydrocodone, and that’s just plain sad. Nobody should have to live like this, and it’s clear you want out. So out you go.

A few friends of mine, and even the OBGYN, have warned me I may go through a period of loss. Apparently, some women experience a feeling of the loss of womanhood. While I understand and would never diminish the feelings of another woman, I don’t foresee those feelings happening for me.

The function or malfunction of my uterus and reproductive organs does not make me any more or less of a woman.

Had you, dear uterus, not given me two beautiful boys biologically, adoption would have made our family. That was our go-to years ago anyway when we were made to believe reproducing ourselves would be difficult if not impossible. We were surprised and thrilled as Hudson and Asher were clearly meant to be ours. So while I will never say never to the feeling of loss, I must say that I’ll gladly look back on our happy days together and cherish those. 

Mommy and Hudson the night before his birth in September 2006.

Mommy and Asher (along with proud big brother, Hudson) at 8 months pregnant in April of 2009.

Look at what you have given me. Just look. How could I possibly be mad at you for feeling as though you’ve done your job? You have. And I thank you.

So, dear Uterus, it’s farewell. And I’ll be okay. The doctor says I’ll have my energy back, my pain and pressure will likely vanish, and the other stuff, well, let’s just say I’m excited for all the positives that will come from this. Thank you for my beautiful boys. You had a good run. Just look at them now.

Hudson and daddy, July 4, 2017.

Asher and daddy, July 4, 2017.

So I thank you, dear Uterus, and wish you well. I’ll concentrate on the good times we had. Farewell, my old friend.

With gratitude,

Bailey

About the author

Bailey Koch

The story of Bailey Koch finding her love for and strength in writing begins with near tragedy. In February of 2012, Bailey’s husband was nearly killed in a head-on collision with a semi truck. As a method of getting information to friends and family, Bailey began a Caring Bridge page. Immediately, others began commenting that Bailey should be a writer. “Yeah right!” Bailey thought. “There’s no way I could do that!”

“Never Alone: A Husband and Wife’s Journey with Depression and Faith” was published in March 2015 and is written by Jeremy and Bailey Koch. It details their struggles with severe depression and the journey toward understanding their purpose, accepting help, and finding faith. High school sweethearts, Jeremy and Bailey know their lives were meant for each other and to help others by being honest about their story. They are proud parents of two beautiful, and often rambunctious, boys. Hudson and Asher are 10 and 7 years old. You can learn more about their journey and even purchase the eBook or paperback copy of “Never Alone” at www.jeremyandbailey.com.

Jeremy and Bailey found their purpose in helping others find hope when suffering from a disability, especially unseen illnesses like depression. Jeremy, who suffers from suicidal thoughts, continues to learn to live, not simply stay alive, through hope from God and the acceptance of help. Bailey is his biggest supporter and left her teaching job, after being in public education for seven years, to focus on what the two know to be God’s plan. Bailey now works as a Lecturer in Teacher Education at the University of Nebraska at Kearney and will graduate with her doctoral degree in Special Education from Walden University sometime in 2018. Jeremy and Bailey co-own and operate Natural Escapes, a landscaping and greenhouse services business that also includes a paint your own pottery and canvas family art studio. The passion to advocate for those who can’t easily advocate for themselves is strong. Bailey has a message of hope and acceptance for all; she has plans to completely demolish the societal stigma attached to mental illness.