Shop the fall collection ➔

It was 6 o’clock in the morning when I snuck out of bed, tip-toeing down the hall, careful not to wake the sleeping tiny humans from their deep slumber. I tried my hardest to wipe the sleep from my eyes as I fumbled through my kitchen cabinets trying to find my favorite coffee mug in the dark. As I brewed my favorite cup of coffee, I watched as the sun poured into my living room, silently touching my favorite spot in the room. Walking sheepishly over to grab my bible, I sank slowly into the comfort of my vintage sofa, allowing the rays from the winter sun to wrap me up in it’s warmth. I opened up the soft, weathered pages of my bible and picked up where I had left off in John.

As I soaked up the beauty of the moment, my thoughts abruptly turned to discontentment…

Why am I even reading this? I know I’m not going to get anything out of this short chapter…there’s bound to be a child about to wake up and I’m going to have to lay aside my time once again.

I could feel a sense of bitterness beginning to well up inside of me.

Why must I work so hard in a relationship that often feels so one-sided? Why do I have to read scripture and listen to sermons that I can’t even comprehend?

I could feel a shift in my spirit as my thoughts became less and less my own. I could feel my heart grow weary and burdened. But then I heard it. The soft voice that so often gets mistaken as a whisper or our own misunderstood conscience. It was there in the soft light of the early morning sun that He spoke to me. It’s not often that I hear His voice so profoundly but when I do, it seems to shake me to the very core because it is unlike anything that I would ever expect the King of Kings to say to ME.

Softly, gently, He proclaims:

My daughter, thank you. I know the sacrifice is not easy and your rest is fleeting but the joy I feel when you spend just one minute with me is irreplaceable. Come to me in the morning and I will give you rest, I will fill your days with supernatural energy and never-ending joy. For it’s in the moments that you come to me that I see your heart and I see your dreams more clearly. Press in and I will continue to take you places you never thought you could go.

As I listened to His voice surround me, I barely noticed my three year old daughter snuggling up beside me. I pushed the hair out of her eyes and watched as she starred whimsically out the window to the painted sky. “Mom, I wish we could play on those clouds. Then we could go see Jesus, right mom?” Long pause. “Except…we don’t have a ladder mom, so we can’t go up there.”

It was then that it hit me – our time with Jesus is never going to look like how we imagined it would. But the beauty of that is this. He never expects it to look that way either! No amount of time – long or short – is going to define our status as believers. God wants us JUST the way we are; tired, raw, bitter, worn out, angry. He loves us through it all and when we come before Him with boldness and sincerity, He will honor us. That’s the kind of King He is, and that’s the kind of God we serve.

Tessa Kirby

I am a 25 year old former Michigander turned Illinoisan (by marriage). I am a full-time mother to three littles and a part-time dreamer. I find serenity in the art of bringing life back to my vintage finds and giving them new purpose within my home. In our spare time, my husband and I work together on our 1960's fixer upper, designing and restructuring each space to make this house our home. I blog for fun in hopes that I can find community in the midst of my vulnerability. I find joy in meeting new people and sharing life with others! Learn more about me:

The Best Marriage Advice We Ever Got: Touch Feet Every Night

In: Faith, Marriage
Couple touching feet in bed

Twenty-six years ago this summer, I got a tiny piece of advice on my wedding day that has kept me from making a huge mistake time and time again. A wise woman told me, “When you climb in bed each night with your husband, make sure that your feet touch under the covers. It’s hard to be mad at someone and touch feet.”  I had no idea, all those years ago, how impactful this piece of advice would be and how many times in our marriage this would be the small act that kept us united. This simple act of...

Keep Reading

Faith is a Verb, So We Go to Church

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman and teen daughter in church pew

Every Sunday morning we rush out the door bribing, coaxing, and threatening our kids to just “Get into the van!” Luckily, we live remotely rural so we don’t have neighbors to witness our often un-Christlike eye rolls and harsh sighs as we buckle each other up. We’ve always lived within a five-minute drive to a chapel, and yet we are usually there not two minutes before the service starts. Once sitting in our seats, we’re on high alert for noise control and sibling altercations for the next hour of what is supposed to be a peaceful, sacred, spirit-filled service. Which...

Keep Reading

3 Simple Ways to Be a More Confident Mother

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother and young child smiling outside

Do you ever ask yourself why you can’t be more like that mom or why can’t your kids be like those kids? The comparison trap is an easy one to fall into if we aren’t careful. At the click of our fingers, we see Pinterest-worthy motherhood in every category. From the mom with the black-belt kids to the mom with Marie Kondo organizing skills—it’s easy to look at their lives and feel like we’ve fallen short. Even worse, is when we start to strive to become something we aren’t or prod our kids to become something they aren’t.  Comparison makes...

Keep Reading

Grief Is Persistent But God Is Faithful

In: Faith, Grief, Loss
Woman praying by ocean

The loss of a parent doesn’t just sting, it leaves you with an irreplaceable hole in your heart. It’s been two years since my loving daddy went home to be with Jesus, and the loss I feel is still unimaginable.  I know in my heart he’s in a better place that is absent of pain and distress. However, his physical presence and wisdom are so dearly missed here on this earth.  He left behind an army of a family who adored him and looked to him for solid guidance. No matter how hard I try to look to the bright...

Keep Reading

I Gave up on God but He Never Gave up on Me

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother hugging son, color photo

I grew up in a religious house. We went to church every Sunday. My mom taught Sunday school, and we participated as a family in most church events. We believed in the power of prayer, hope, faith, love, and forgiveness. As a little girl, I watched my dad kneel at the side of the bed every night and say his prayers. In the last six years, my faith has not been what it should have been. It has plummeted into the depths of nothingness, buried deep below the darkness. I have felt angry and abandoned by God. In response, I...

Keep Reading

I Count My Blessings Every Day

In: Faith
Mom and child by beach

I remember being jealous of my classmates often. I would look at the girls at my school who seemed to be living such a carefree life. They would do well in school effortlessly and go home to their moms, dads, and siblings, to a house they’d grown up in. I wanted that so much for myself! I wanted my mom and dad to be together, and if it wasn’t too much to ask, a sibling or two. I wanted us to live in a house where I could have my own room, but I wouldn’t mind sharing if I had...

Keep Reading

Dear Lord, Make Me a Grace Hunter

In: Faith
Woman with crutches looking out window, black-and-white photo

I want to be known as a grace hunter. Every day, I pray I would be given eyes to see the world in which we live through a lens of grace—a lens that causes me to marvel at the ways of my God and be constantly filled with wonder. I am thankful I have no choice but to live life at a slower pace. I pray for the ability to see the beauty and God’s grace in the seemingly small and insignificant things. RELATED: In the Midst of Grief, There is Grace I pray for eyes to see His grace even...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter, Follow Your Beautiful Heart

In: Faith, Kids
Mother and daughter smiling

When I held you in my arms for the first time, it was like time stopped. As you looked up at me with innocence and new life, I was struck by the reality that my main role in your life would be to guide and direct you on the right path. I hoped I would do the best job possible. As I watched you grow, I basked in your joy of putting on your pretty dresses, adorned with layers of costume jewelry, parading around the house for your father and me to see. I dreamed often of what path you...

Keep Reading

So God Made Midnight

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother and newborn

When God created a mother, He created her to love and serve in every moment. He knew the constant need would sometimes overwhelm her and she would have no choice but to rely on His strength and grace. He knew she would feel like there weren’t enough hours in the day . . . so God made midnight. He knew a mama’s days with a newborn would be busy and sometimes chaotic. He knew she would be distracted by meeting needs and attempting to find balance—that sneaking in a hot shower would become almost a luxury . . . so...

Keep Reading

Lord, I Don’t Want To Face This Storm

In: Faith
Rain cloud over a lake, color photo

“I feel like I’m right in the middle of that rain shaft, suspended over the ocean,” I told my husband as we waited out a Florida afternoon rain on our hotel balcony. “There’s light and beauty all around me, but I feel like I’m just lost in that storm.”  Just two nights before, we awoke to the cries of our 11-year-old son, the pain in his right lower abdomen so great that he woke up from a deep sleep. Our vacation took a solemn turn as my husband loaded him up in our rental car and drove to a children’s...

Keep Reading