Shop the fall collection ➔

They say the days are long, but the years are short in the trenches of motherhood. As moms, our days are spent making snacks, wiping faces, and refereeing sibling squabbles. The messes seem endless, the noise at full level, and the work is often thankless. We give hugs, kiss boo-boos, and answer questions on repeat, often feeling drained and ready to crash at the end of each day.

Some days I find myself watching the clock, waiting for that magical hour when I will no longer be alone in the chaos but joined by another capable adult who can take up the mantle and add another set of helping hands. I long for nothing more than a moment to catch my breath.

But this capable adult and set of helping hands is so much more.

He is my beloved, my groom, my best friend.

RELATED: Dear Husband, We Make a Good Team

I recall the days when I wanted nothing more than to kiss and reconnect with my husband at the end of a long day.

But somewhere in the mayhem of parenthood, my focus shifted.

I am ready to hand the kids off and take a minute to breathe or tackle the house that has been neglected all day. Many days, my tired body and drained spirit desire respite above reconnection and I wonder where the passion went.

RELATED: To My Husband: Thank You For Being A Great Man

Friend, I know the temptation to neglect him is there. This season of parenthood is hard, and you are both so tired. I know it is hard to connect when you are interrupted every 30 seconds by a little person who needs you.

However, when you are tempted to see him only as a daddy and no longer as a husband, take a second to remember.

Remember why you fell in love with him.

Focus on why you love him at this moment. Appreciate the ways he provides for and protects your family. Value the way he loves your children. Be grateful for the way he loves Jesus. And treasure the way he loves you.

RELATED: Dear Husband, Fall Back in Love With Me

In the midst of the chaos of motherhood, the days are indeed long. Fall into his arms at the end of the days that zap you of all energy. He was your first love before your little loves. Don’t forget that. Because the days may be long, but the years are short.

May we not look back at the end of our parenting years and see we have grown apart from our husbands, but instead that we are closer than we ever have been before. Make these years count.

Treasure your husband in the midst of the chaos.

You won’t regret it.

Previously published on the author’s blog

Marriage takes work. Thankfully, there’s an app that can help! Lasting—the nation’s #1 relationship counseling app—provides accessible sessions designed to help you build a healthy marriage. Download and take Lasting’s free Relationship Health Assessment.

Recommendations in this post contain affiliate links. Her View From Home may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase.

Stephanie Roberts

Stephanie is a writer and the founder of Be the Village, a nonprofit that serves foster and adoptive families in Kentucky. She is a happily outnumbered boy mama, doing life with her husband Brad and her two sons August and Gideon. Stephanie writes about the journey of raising her tribe at www.raisingtherobertstribe.com as well as on Facebook and Instagram @raisingtherobertstribe. She uses her platform to encourage moms to say yes to the unique calling that God has given them even in the busyness of motherhood.

The Best Marriage Advice We Ever Got: Touch Feet Every Night

In: Faith, Marriage
Couple touching feet in bed

Twenty-six years ago this summer, I got a tiny piece of advice on my wedding day that has kept me from making a huge mistake time and time again. A wise woman told me, “When you climb in bed each night with your husband, make sure that your feet touch under the covers. It’s hard to be mad at someone and touch feet.”  I had no idea, all those years ago, how impactful this piece of advice would be and how many times in our marriage this would be the small act that kept us united. This simple act of...

Keep Reading

Marriage Comes Down To the Little Things

In: Marriage
Empty cup next to coffee maker, color photo

Yesterday when my husband arrived home from work, I was met with a “you didn’t put my coffee cup out this morning.”  My back was to him. I was standing at the sink hand washing our daughter’s sippy cup. As I turned around, he must have read the emotion on my face because I didn’t have to say a word before he chimed in with a “no, no, I don’t expect you to! It was just a good reminder of all of the little things you do that I guess I just get used to and maybe don’t notice and...

Keep Reading

You’re Still the One I Want

In: Marriage
Hugging couple

I remember when we met like it was yesterday. You in your Wranglers and cowboy hat, I just had to ask you to dance. We’ve been together ever since. I remember how you would call me every night, we talked for hours. We had our own special way of saying goodnight before we hung up, “Take care of you for me.” The truth is the moment I  hung up, I couldn’t wait to talk to you again. We lived so far apart, that the only time we spent together was on the weekends. I loved those occasional mornings when you...

Keep Reading

Becoming a Stepmom Made Me a Mother

In: Marriage, Motherhood
Mother, father, and child kissing mom's cheek

From the time I was a little girl, it was always a given that I was going to be a mom. My younger sister and I picked names out (Denim and Lace) for our fictional children we were one day going to have, improbably, at the same time. As I grew older, college and responsibilities and a career kept my fictional children from becoming real, but I always knew that, eventually, I was going to be a mom. But then, life sometimes throws you hard and fast curveballs, and with one failed marriage looming on the horizon, I began to...

Keep Reading

The Greatest Gift Is Time

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Couple with child at home

Recently, I attended both a wedding and a baby shower in the same weekend. As I was wrapping both gifts, I couldn’t help but think about what those two women really needed. The perfect gift for those first steps into marriage or motherhood is not anything that could be wrapped in pretty paper.  Sure newlyweds need pans to cook in, and babies need blankets to snuggle in. Yes, soft towels are nice and baby jammies might be the cutest clothing anyone could ever purchase. What both new brides and new mommas really need, though, could never be found on a...

Keep Reading

Loving and Appreciating the Man You Married Changes Everything

In: Marriage
Man and woman hold hands

They say, marry the man who . . .  Holds open the door for you. Gives you flowers on your birthday. Carries the heavy groceries for ysou. Makes coffee for you in the morning. Tells you how much he loves you every day. Messages you in the middle of the afternoon to tell you he’s thinking about you. Plans date nights for the two of you. But what if the man you married doesn’t do all or any of these things? Or what if he does them, but he doesn’t do them consistently? He’s so unlike those other husbands who...

Keep Reading

Loving Me after Trauma Means Being Careful with My Heart

In: Marriage
Man and woman silhouette

To the husband loving me despite my past trauma, Thank you. For not sneaking up and playfully putting your arms around me in the kitchen like you’d like to, because you know I don’t like being touched from behind. RELATED: The Lies of Abuse Will Not Silence My Voice For somehow always knowing when I need to hear “You look great,” because the low self-esteem is acting up again. For understanding that sex will always be different for me. And some days, difficult. For letting me sit in the chair facing the window in the restaurant. For living daily with...

Keep Reading

The Woman He Married Is Long Gone

In: Grief, Kids, Marriage
Young couple smiling

My husband has been married to at least five different women—and they’re all versions of me. His first wife was the 21-year-old version of me, who was a fit and focused college athlete. She was a driven, perfectionist dream-chaser. She was ready to push and sacrifice to chase the dream. No challenge was too hard—but then again, the hardest thing in her life was her organic chemistry final. She had the eternal optimism that comes with naivety and innocence. She loved him with eagerness and couldn’t wait to build a life with him. He often still daydreams of this first...

Keep Reading

Modeling a Healthy Marriage for Our Kids Matters

In: Kids, Marriage
Boy watching parents kiss

Sometimes he’ll whisper playfully to me, when I’m doting on the kids and not paying him much attention, “Hey, none of this, ya know,” gesturing to our boys, “would have been even remotely possible without me, the big D,” with a wink and a smirk. And I’ll smile involuntarily, roll my eyes, and concede, usually silently, that yeah, he’s got a point. A great point, actually. Without my (truly incredible) husband, without the two of us, there would be no family as we know it, no world as we know it.  It’s not about loving my husband more, nor is...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, I Love This Stage of Life With You

In: Marriage
Happy family of four

Dear husband, It’s no secret our love story has been long and bumpy. We have grown apart and back again many times throughout the years. But now we are entering a different time in our lives. Our children are no longer babies—they wouldn’t even be considered toddlers. I am loving this time with you. A time where we have more freedom to be silly, to play, to travel, and just sit with each other. The days before this were long. They were rocky. They were so stressful. RELATED: Dear Husband, There is a Table Waiting For Us There was never...

Keep Reading