I see you watching and analyzing my every move, sweet girl. After all, you learn and grow by mom’s example. There is nothing sweeter than having you as my biggest fan. Though, if I’m being honest, there is nothing in my life that has ever made me feel this amount of pressure, either.
I thought I needed to be the perfect role model for you, but after visiting with God about it, I realized that’s not at all what I need to be for you.
Getting an outfit (or five) picked out for the day is always a task with girls. I ask, “What would you like to wear to church today?” You went to your closet and picked out two outfits. One outfit for church and one outfit for when you get home. We got you dressed, and you went back to playing with your toys. Once I got myself dressed, I went back to check on you before getting things gathered up to leave. I should have seen this coming and planned accordingly, but with little girls, you get used to hanging up 10 outfits at the end of the day.
As I walked back in to check on you, you noticed Mommy was wearing her yellow dress. If Mommy wears her yellow dress to church then, of course, I get an excited, “I want to dress like you, Mommy!” So, you went to the closet and grabbed your yellow dress. We got you dressed, again, and you melted my heart with, “I look just like you, Mommy!” Talk about pulling all the heartstrings. Watching you twirl in your dress with an ear-to-ear grin because you looked like Mommy will be memories that I hold near and dear forever. In those moments, I realize that your eyes are on me and everything I do is shaping you into the person you are. Talk about a ton of pressure!
We got seated in church, and as I knelt to pray, I found myself glancing at you sitting in the pew. I couldn’t help but notice your bright yellow dress and remember that you wanted to be like Mommy today. I began asking God for strength to be the perfect role model for you, but then I realized I was praying for the wrong thing.
I don’t need to be perfect for you. I need to model a woman who is strong but is also imperfect and able to pick herself up when life knocks her down.
I don’t want you growing up thinking that life is perfect, and your mom was perfect.
I want you to realize that life throws some mean punches, but with a strong faith and courage to face your challenges, you can learn and grow. I then began to ask God for wisdom and strength to let you see a woman who faces challenges and works to become a better version of herself for overcoming those challenges. That’s the kind of role I want to model for you, sweet girl.
Mommy is not perfect, and instead of trying to hide my feelings and flaws, I will teach you that it’s wonderful to have feelings and flaws.
Your feelings are always valid because those feelings guide you into your decisions that you will make in life. Those feelings are so important and you should express them, so I will teach you how to do that and how to deal with those feelings.
Your flaws are what make you the extraordinary person you are and the person God intended for you to be. Those flaws are also important because they teach you how to be strong and courageous, so I will teach you how to accept your flaws and use them to improve on yourself.
Most importantly, I will teach you God made you just the way you are, and that means every feeling, flaw, and strength is unique to you, which is beautiful and special.
I hope I can model to you that you are imperfectly special, just the way you are, sweet girl.
You may also like: