Child Journal Relationships

Dear Daughter, Do Not Be Perfect

Written by Sherry White

My child.

I don’t want you to be perfect.

People will say that you are when you are quiet and sit in your chair without fidgeting. 

When you get top marks or come in first. 

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When you meet their every expectation.

But you are not perfect.

Do you hear me?

You are NOT perfect.

And I’ll never expect you to be. Ever.

It’s important for you to know this because it’s so easy to believe that THAT is what is expected from you.

But it’s not.

It’s so important for you to know this because you’re going to mess up. Yes, YOU.

You will. In small ways and big ways, too.

And when you do, if you think it’s your perfection that makes you who you are, then this will be devastating to you.

You’ll cower and hide and shame yourself. You’ll double down out of fear and try even harder to reach that which you can never attain.

You’ll start to think that THAT is what makes you valuable. And it will follow you everywhere.

It will cause you to crave control and let anxiety rule your thoughts. It will trap you in a never-ending cycle of people pleasing and feeling not good enough.

And I don’t want that for you. EVER.

It’s so easy to believe that what makes you a treasure is your perfection.

But it’s not. It absolutely is not.

You are a treasure regardless. 

Do you hear me?

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. 

And there is so much grace for you. SO MUCH.

I don’t want you to spend one ounce of your precious life running after elusive perfection. 

Spend it pursuing Godliness. Yes.

Spend it pursuing the passions and talents that God created within you. Yes.

Spend it chasing your dreams, taking chances and leaving your comfort zones. Yes.

Spend it learning from your mistakes and acquiring the lessons gained. Yes.

But, please, don’t ever think that perfection is the end goal. 

Because that will keep you from walking out this life on shaky legs. And there are some paths you just can’t go down unless you’re willing to do that. 

It will keep you from loving others because all you will ever see is their imperfection and you will hate them for it.

It will keep you from loving yourself, too.

It will keep you hiding your struggles and never letting anyone in to help.

It will keep you from really ever knowing God. Because you’ll never let His strength be made perfect in your weakness.

Be fearless. Be kind. Be respectful. Be brave. But please, don’t be perfect.

Photo credit: Tabatha Chesley

This article originally appeared on The Messy Christian

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About the author

Sherry White

Sherry White writes about the messiness of life, parenting, and faith at her blog The Messy Christian. She tries to add her own brand of humor and insight into everyday issues we all face, reminding us that even though we find ourselves in countless messes, God’s grace lights the way. She would be thrilled if you follower her on Facebook and Instagram.