One of my biggest struggles in life is letting go of control. I think as a woman and a mother, it is somewhat typical, or at least that is what I like to tell myself! But as a Christian, I know I am called to let go of control and let my groom lead me. This concept is the hardest way for me to let go of my control. I am a “do it myself” kind of gal. If I do not think it is going to get done (or done the right way), I am just going to take charge and do it myself. Sometimes this philosophy is good, but in this case, it can hurt my marriage.

So I have realized that I need to take a step back and let him step up. Partnering with my husband and walking side by side with him, instead of running out in front of him, gives him the opportunity to lead me and our family. Our family recently moved to Bangkok, Thailand, where my husband pastors a church. Since then, I have realized how much pressure my hubby endures through leading our church, and I was not very supportive in the beginning. I realize now that I have to support him in whatever decisions he makes in every realm of his life, even if I do not fully agree with him. If I do not support him in his decisions, I am hindering his leadership of our family and causing unnecessary strain to our marriage. By supporting my husband’s decisions it allows him to gain confidence in himself and allows him to lead our family more effectively. I know my husband hates to feel like he has let anyone down, so picking at him about things he has done wrong does not help our marriage or his self-confidence at all. Instead, men like to be complemented and engage in things they can excel in, so we as wives need to help them feel confident in their decision making, in their work, friendships and in our marriage. Furthermore, he already bears a huge weight of the church, so as his wife, I need to support him and uplift him, instead of adding more pressure to his life at home.

More importantly, I have to remember that God commanded our grooms to lead us as Christians, and with this, I must step back and let my husband lead me. I know my hubby’s leadership will be much easier and much better if I just step back and let him lead me.

Furthermore, we should be an example to our children, so they can learn how to lead and learn how to submit to leadership. We should allow our sons to see the example of how our hubbys lead us, and they should also be shown how a wife follows her groom. Moreover, we should provide the example to our daughters to teach them how a wife submits to her husband’s leadership. Let us be a generation of parents that change our children by being an example in our own marriage.

Brittany Dyer

Brittany is a counselor turned missionary living in Bangkok, Thailand. She married her high school sweetheart and now has 2 beautiful children with him. She loves to travel, bake, eat ice cream and have dance parties with her kiddos! Follow her blog at