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Dear People Pleaser: It’s Not Your Job to Make Everyone Happy

In: Living

3 Minute Read

By Sarah Lango

Woman sitting on couch at home alone in sunlight — Liderina/Shutterstock.com

Pssst . . . hey, you.

Yes—you. The one who is working and striving and trying to be everything to everybody—

Can I let you in on a secret?

It’s not your job to please the world.

It’s NOT your job to make everyone happy.
It’s not your job to make your husband happy.
It’s not your job to make your kids happy.
It’s not your job to make your parents happy.

Or your friends.
Or your co-workers.
Or the people you attend church with.
It is simply not in your job description to make all the people happy.

I get it! I was born with the curse of people pleasing. It started from the moment I exited the womb (possible exaggeration). BUT REALLY—I have always, for as long as I can remember, just wanted someone, anyone, everyone to be pleased with me.

I want people to like me. I want people to LOVE me. I want to make everyone happy all the time.

And when I can’t or when I don’t, it becomes crushing.

But, here’s what I’m learning: God did not design you or me to make all the people happy all the time.

Because of that—it is exhausting to try to make ALL the people happy all the time.
And no matter how hard you and I try, no matter how much we do, we are never going to be able to make all the people happy all the time.

The reality of other’s happiness is that they must find it and they must choose it on their own. This does not mean you cannot play into the things in life that bring others joy. BUT, it does mean that others have to find their own joy independent of you.

The weight and responsibility of other people’s happiness does not ride on your shoulders.

So, if you’re a natural-born people pleaser like myself, here’s what I would encourage you to do:

Give it up.

Surrender your tendency to want to be all the things to all the people.

Release the weight of this heavy burden you’ve been carrying. You don’t need to carry it any longer. It’s actually not yours to carry at all. It never was.

Choose to live for an audience of one. Live for God and rest in the reality that He will take care of everything else.

And then, YOU choose to find unending joy in Him.
YOU, for yourself, choose to make the most of every situation.
YOU—you choose happiness, and never let go!

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Sarah Lango

Sarah Lango is a wife, mom of 3, writer, speaker, disability advocate, Jesus follower, and coffee lover from small-town Missouri. She writes vulnerably about grief, joy, and finding God in the hard places of life. You can read more of Sarah’s writing at www.gracefilledgrowth.com.

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Dear People Pleaser: It’s Not Your Job to Make Everyone Happy

It’s not your job to please the world.

But, here’s what I’m learning: God did not design you or me to make all the people happy all the time.

Surrender your tendency to want to be all the things to all the people.

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