The day I took this picture, it wasn’t the best day.
On that day, he didn’t live up to my expectations and I definitely didn’t live up to his.
Voices were raised, tensions were high, and regrettable words were said.
I sat a dish down in the sink as hard as I could without breaking it in an attempt to make it echo through the entire house. It didn’t serve any purpose, other than to fulfill the idea in my mind that it would let him know just how mad I was. And annoyed. And over it.
We stormed past each other a few more times. Avoiding eye contact and huffing through our frustrations with each other.
At this point, whatever we were mad about no longer mattered. Now we were both mad about being mad. And annoyed that we were annoyed. And over being over it.
So finally, he grabbed my hand.
I pulled away like I often do at the end of an argument, and he broke the awkward silence and told me that he just wanted to hold his wife’s hand.
He didn’t want an explanation from me or any added words that may or may not help the situation. He honestly wasn’t even looking for an apology.
He just wanted my hand.
So, we held hands first and then after some time, we talked through whatever the issue was in the first place.
I’m quite often the impossible one in our marriage. I don’t like to admit that, but I am. Over the last eight years, I’ve learned that my pride can feel bigger than the love I have in my heart and I have to push that away.
Because it’s not true.
But over the last 10 years together, he’s remained constant in his desire to love me through my difficulties.
And because he’s not perfect either, I vow to do the same for him.
And even in the midst of the difficulties, our marriage works. Not just because he apologizes first or because I forgive him when he fails, but because at the end of the day, we both stay.
And on this day, all the appreciation and unsaid words I felt I deserved were said when he grabbed my hand.
Marriage is a lot of misunderstanding and miscommunication and hard work, but it’s also a lot of determination and appreciation and dedication.
It’s a whole lot of love.
It’s a lot of trading my wants for his and his needs for mine. It’s a constant battle against the enemy who wants nothing more than for us to separate what Christ joined as one.
But in that moment, the one where I took this picture, I’ve never been more sure than then that God created his hands for mine.
This post originally appeared on There Is Peace In The Chaos
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