She held the title of mother. She held the responsibility of friend, caretaker, referee, chauffeur, and all the other duties that come with motherhood. She was my mother, my person, my secret keeper, my safe place.
The day she left for her eternity, my life shifted and transformed. I no longer had the safe place, the guiding light, the endless motherly love.
I long for all of the intricate knowings that she held as my mother.
A mother knows every failure and every victory.
A mother knows when to cheer loudly and when a silent prideful smile is best.
A mother knows when your heart is about to break, and even truer, a mother knows the moment it has broken into a million pieces.
A mother knows when your mind is stressed and blurred with fear.
A mother knows when you need a hug, a kiss, or a bold reminder to keep going.
A mother knows when to pick you up and when to let you stand alone.
A mother knows when you’re hungry for things beyond food. For knowledge, for love, for acceptance, for encouragement, for inspiration.
A mother knows when you’re scared, doubtful, embarrassed, and unsure.
A mother knows you in your entirety, each and every piece, and loves you beautifully.
A mother can be taken, lost, and gone too soon, but a mother cannot be replaced or forgotten.
A mother carries the memories of every victory, every failure, and every secret with them into eternity. A place where her legacy is born and a mother-daughter relationship tragically transforms forever.
A mother knows how to love you beautifully beyond death and beyond separation.
Even after her final breath, a mother knows.
Originally published on the author’s blog