I Want To Be a Mom Who Shows Up

A Gift for Mom! 🤍

Before I had kids and well into parenting my first, I thought I was going to be the best mom ever. I was going to read all the books, make all the right decisions, and parent the heck out of my kid. He’d grow up to be a kind, intelligent, successful man—and it would be mostly my doing as a perfect mom. Because I thought that’s what motherhood meant—finding and achieving the perfect way to parent.

Yeah, nope. Cuz that’s not how it works.

Now my goals for my son are for him to be happy. Period.

If he is intelligent or successful, I’m sure it won’t be because of me.

What I’ve learned is this: the goal for motherhood isn’t to do it all perfectly. It’s to show up.

Because motherhood is a verb. Motherhood is doing the things that need to be done. Driving kids to early morning practices. Saying no to a screaming toddler who wants to eat candy for dinner. Scrubbing a vomit-stained carpet in the middle of the night.

RELATED: This is Motherhood When Nobody’s Watching

Currently, I’m reading the book of Proverbs. If I had to sum it up, I’d say the purpose of Proverbs is to teach you wisdom. The definition of wisdom in Proverbs is choosing rightly.

It’s choosing rightly—not choosing perfectly.

When your baby wakes up for the fourth time in the middle of the night and you are bleary-eyed from lack of sleep and your brain is so tired you are having trouble remembering the formula to water ratio, you get up anyway and you make the bottle anyway and you feed your child anyway—that is choosing rightly. That is motherhood.

You showed up. You might not have shown up with a smile on your face or in clean, matching pajamas. If you’re like me, you showed up grouchy and in the spit-up stained t-shirt and yoga pants you wore all day and went to sleep in. But you showed up.

You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to show up.

The value in motherhood isn’t doing it all the “right way” or being happy and content with all your motherly duties. The value is in showing up and doing what must be done even though you don’t want to. This is you loving your kids—even if the feelings aren’t there.

RELATED: Being a Mom is Hard and That’s OK

So, if you are giving yourself a hard time because you’re not enjoying every moment with your child or because you thought you’d be doing a better job of this whole mothering thing, give yourself a break. You are showing up and that is enough.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

a mom who shows up a perfect mom Being a mom mom mom life Motherhood parenting perfect mom this is motherhood

Anne Metz

Anne Metz works part time as a freelance writer and spends the other part getting kids off the bus, breaking up fights, doing laundry, cooking, and cleaning up after her son and triplet daughters. For fun she enjoys whistling loudly and just slightly off key and eating meals that other people prepare for her. She is passionate about sharing her struggles with mothering to let other moms know they aren't alone in this journey. You can find more of her work on her blog: www.onceuponamom.net

I Didn’t Know You Were My Last Baby When I Had You

In: Baby, Motherhood

Mother holding newborn baby, black and white image

I didn’t know at the time that my last baby would be my last. Those late nights with little sleep. The days that felt so long, yet so full all at the same time. The pain that came with trying to breastfeed and wanting so badly for it to work. Learning who was truly there for you in moments that felt lonely. I didn’t know my body would never feel those first flutters again—or experience the emotional joy of meeting your baby face to face after nine months of waiting. I think that’s why I want so badly to experience...

Keep Reading

The Invisible Pain after IVF Stops

In: Motherhood

Woman holding pregnancy test with head in hands

There is nothing “basic” about stopping IVF and returning to the so-called natural route. There is no guidebook for what comes next. The protocols and procedures that once dictated every step suddenly disappear. The appointments, alarms, and instructions are gone—but the emotions and unknowns remain. There is no protocol for going back to the basics. When we decided to stop IVF and try naturally, I wasn’t prepared for how difficult this next part of our journey would be. During IVF, everything had structure. There were calendars to follow, medications to take at exact times, appointments that filled the weeks. There...

Keep Reading

The Final Out

In: Motherhood

Baseball game as seen through the fence behind home plate

Tonight I watched him step up to the plate for the last time. Play-offs. Single elimination. Down by one. Last inning. Two outs. And the batting lineup just happened to fall to him. Nothing prepares you for that. He took a breath. The weight of an entire lifetime spent in red dirt hinging on this moment. He set his face like flint to that pitcher. The ball left the glove, and he swung. Strike one. He stepped away. Reset. Tapped the base. Then set himself once more. He swung, hit a line drive, and sprinted headlong towards the base, setting...

Keep Reading

These Holy Small Things

In: Faith, Motherhood

My 8-year-old-daughter has recently taken up sewing, to my simultaneous delight and chagrin. My delight because I too love sewing; my chagrin because her enthusiasm often outpaces my own abilities, namely, in the undertaking of tedious projects with no pattern. Take, for example, the cloth doll diaper we designed and stitched up together. Granted, the design was fairly basic to draw up and scale. But the minuscule nature of the work, both for my hands and head, was enough to throw me into existential questioning. It was one of those moments when you wonder how the sum of your life...

Keep Reading

The Pressure to Do Everything “Right” Is Crushing Us

In: Motherhood

Tired and stressed mother sits in hallway with toddler across from her, black and white image

I don’t remember when motherhood started to feel like a test I didn’t study for—but somehow, I’m always convinced I’m failing it. It’s in the quiet moments. Standing in the grocery store aisle, overthinking every label—organic, non-GMO, dye-free, free-range, grass-fed—like I’m one bad decision away from ruining their future…while also trying not to take out a second mortgage just to afford my ever-rising grocery bill. Sitting on the couch, wondering if the show they’re watching or game they’re playing is rotting their brain. Lying in bed at night, replaying the way I handled a meltdown, picking apart every word I...

Keep Reading

Letting You Go Is Still So Hard

In: Grown Children, Motherhood

Nothing really prepares you for the day your child leaves the house. Last September, my husband and I moved our 18-year-old son into his dorm room. Right after that, he was swept away into all things orientation, and we began our 1,000-mile journey back home. Leaving this beautiful human I raised and spent all those years with felt foreign. During our final hug goodbye, despite trying to hold in my pain, I broke out in huge, ugly, guttural tears. Our drive home was a long two days. It took every fiber of my being not to turn around. Returning to...

Keep Reading

Behind Every Smiling Graduate Is a Mother Letting Go

In: Grown Children, Motherhood

Every year, millions of American families send their children off to their freshman year of college. Their pictures dot our social media feeds. Images of excited students holding collegiate pennants, maybe wearing a hat or holding up their school’s hand sign with beaming smiles. Their parents post excited words about futures and hopes and dreams. One chapter closing. Another opening. A new beginning. So why am I struggling so much? Why does this feel more like a loss than a gain? Why are my tears always on edge, threatening to spill over each time I think about August and what...

Keep Reading

Life Lessons from My Grown Children

In: Faith, Motherhood

“Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.” – Rabindranath Tagore Quietly communing with a loved one in the early morning hours is such an intimate and precious time. Visiting with one’s grown child when all is dark and still is one of life’s purest pleasures. I remember the conversation clearly. My daughter’s husband, small children, and father were all asleep as we whispered and chatted. She and I are both fidgeters by nature, unable to be still for long. This inner restlessness must be remedied, and we are compelled by biology to...

Keep Reading

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

In: Kids, Motherhood

In most homes, the marks on the wall are a simple celebration of time passing. They are pencil lines that track how many inches a child has gained since their last birthday. But in our home, those marks represent a much deeper, more complex story. When your child lives with multiple hormone deficiencies, growth is never just “natural”—it is a carefully managed medical achievement. However, as any medical mom knows, the story doesn’t end at the top of the head. It begins deep inside, with a tiny gland that isn’t sending the right signals. Having multiple hormone deficiencies is often...

Keep Reading

Hannah Harper Is Every Mom with Babies in Her Arms and a Dream In Her Heart

In: Living, Motherhood

Hannah Harper American Idol winner sings with her young son on her lap

By now, you’ve probably seen the posts flooding your feed: A young mom. Three little boys. A guitar strap embroidered with her children’s drawings. And a crown. When Hannah Harper won American Idol this week, moms everywhere erupted. And honestly? Same. There is something collective about watching a stay-at-home mom win on such a large stage. The celebrations have been pouring in. Moms, we can do it. She didn’t abandon her dreams. She went for it. And all of that is true, and all of that is worth celebrating. But I want to add something to the celebration. Not to...

Keep Reading

You Were Meant to Be Mine

Child

You Were Meant to Be Mine

I Pray Her Father's Love Carried Her Into Paradise

Grief

What I’ve learned is this: the goal for motherhood isn’t to do it all perfectly. It’s to show up.

RELATED: This is Motherhood When Nobody’s Watching

You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to show up.

RELATED: Being a Mom is Hard and That’s OK

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Anne Metz

I Didn’t Know You Were My Last Baby When I Had You

The Invisible Pain after IVF Stops

The Final Out

These Holy Small Things

The Pressure to Do Everything “Right” Is Crushing Us

Letting You Go Is Still So Hard

Behind Every Smiling Graduate Is a Mother Letting Go

Life Lessons from My Grown Children

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

Hannah Harper Is Every Mom with Babies in Her Arms and a Dream In Her Heart

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

I Want To Be a Mom Who Shows Up

What I’ve learned is this: the goal for motherhood isn’t to do it all perfectly. It’s to show up.

You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to show up.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

I Didn’t Know You Were My Last Baby When I Had You

The Invisible Pain after IVF Stops

The Final Out

These Holy Small Things

The Pressure to Do Everything “Right” Is Crushing Us

Letting You Go Is Still So Hard

Behind Every Smiling Graduate Is a Mother Letting Go

Life Lessons from My Grown Children

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

Hannah Harper Is Every Mom with Babies in Her Arms and a Dream In Her Heart

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like