Someday I’ll be all me again.

Someday I’ll start to read grown up books that interest and challenge me instead of books about finding little monsters and counting apples.

Someday I’ll dye my hair regularly and take care of my nails.

Someday I’ll choose my clothing as more of a fashion statement instead of knotting my shirt over a stain and wearing a skirt because all my pants are at the bottom of the hamper.

Someday I’ll quit using so much dry shampoo because I’ll have time to shower every night.

Someday I’ll spend hours in my craft room filling my soul while creating new things.

Someday the size in my pants may be a smaller number.

Someday I’ll drive a car that I like instead of a van that’s practical.

But right now isn’t that someday, because today my littles pull me in every direction.

“Mommy change my diaper.”
“Mommy I need a snack.”
“Mommy my legs hurt!”
“Mommy he hit me!”

I give bits of myself to them all day. I give them what they need.

I still know who I am, and I still feel whole. I’m just a little bit more mommy than I am anything else right now.

As time passes and my littles gradually turn into bigs, they’ll inevitably start to give me back the little bits of myself I’ve given to them. And as parenthood goes accepting them back will be more painful than giving them ever was.

Someday I’ll be all me again, but right now I’m OK with being mostly mommy.

This post originally appeared on The Heart of a Soulful Mommy

 

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