A Gift for Mom! 🤍

Do you ever feel like the rotting avocado on your counter? There it is. So promisingly fresh. So deceptively OK. Until it’s taco Tuesday and what should be perfectly supple suddenly gooshes in your hand.

Let me be candid. I’m a 40-year-old, homeschooling mom. I’ve come to terms with my lumpy body, a less than airbrushed complexion, and muscles that look about as firm as that dead avocado. But my mind? Man, I was hoping to keep that one around and intact.

When my five kids (in six years) were babies, I digressed from collegiate dissertations to goo-goo ga-ga. Can you say mental mush? I lost so many vocabulary words those first 10 years, I was sure my marbles were going with them.

RELATED: The Truth About Raising Teenagers

Now I have three teenagers: 13, 14, and newly 16. I love this phase. Truly, I do.

The challenge is: I’m not only expected to have a working vocabulary but one that functions at light speed. Not a day goes by I don’t have at least three people talking to me at any given moment. And while mommy can, and usually is, doing at least 20 things at once, holding three autonomous conversations simultaneously brings me to the brink of mommycide.

I begin pointing and grunting like I was born in some Carpathian cave. If you catch me on a particularly intense day, you’ll even hear some percussion. Something I like to call the finger snap. Altogether, it’s like my own private dialect, but somehow my kids can translate it instinctively. Such wonderful little linguists they’ve become.

Today was one of those days. The 13-year-old couldn’t get his laptop to work. The 16-year-old needed her crochet project saved. And my 14-year-old was frantically requesting a consultation in regard to his lunch options. Which, after some Neolithic sign language, led me to the kitchen . . . where the avocados sat, in all their warty glory.

No matter how unsavory the outside looks from a distance, there’s always that optimism that the inside flesh will be vibrant and smooth, a dense fudge of nutrition. And I thought, Wow, doesn’t that hit the mark? Getting squashy at 40, but hoping beyond hope something inside is still worth sparing from the trash can. Worth cultivating. Worth more spiritual nutrition to someone than that of a proverbial tootsie roll.

So, here’s to us middle-aged moms, trying desperately to make it to Fat Tuesday with at least some of our omega threes still kicking.

RELATED: The Truth About Parenting Teens is We’re All Faking it

We are NOT dead yet! We still have stuff to contribute to this smorgasbord of a world. Don’t give up, sister avocado heads. It’s the hard neon beauties that people can’t palate.

The truth is, we’re just now becoming ripe.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Jess Litterell

My husband and I have five in the hive, three of which are teens. We homeschool and eat. When I’m not busy doing what I should, I do what I can. And today, that means writing to you.

These Moms on the Sidelines Became My People

In: Motherhood
Moms with arms around each other watching baseball

Spending hours on end on a ballfield on Mother’s Day may not sound ideal to most, but the ones who get it know that it’s about so much more than watching young kids play ball. It’s about the instant bonds you make with families who end up becoming like your own family. It’s being surrounded by people who cheer for your kid louder than you do yourself. It’s about being lucky enough to have a pack of moms who will care for your child in your absence and send you pics and videos of what you are missing when you...

Keep Reading

I Wanted Experts to Fix My Child with ADHD. Instead, They Changed Me.

In: Motherhood
Little boy sitting at table talking to adult

I thought the experts were going to fix my child. I didn’t say that out loud. But it was there…quiet, desperate, sitting underneath every question I asked. If I just found the right strategy… If I just understood ADHD well enough… If I just listened hard enough… Maybe the meltdowns would stop. Maybe the chaos would settle. Maybe I would finally feel like I knew what I was doing. So I started asking questions. Over the past year, I’ve had the opportunity to interview ADHD experts (clinicians, researchers, specialists) through my podcast. And I showed up to every conversation like...

Keep Reading

Parenting a Child with a Disability Is Holy Ground

In: Motherhood
Child hugging mother

Some moments in motherhood stay with you. First steps. Preschool graduation. A first dance recital. And then there are harder times. The ones that do not make it into photo albums. The moments when the world feels too big and your child feels painfully misunderstood. When you are parenting a child with a disability, those moments tend to find you more often. This day should have felt like a win. My son had just met a goal in therapy. We walked out of his OT’s office smiling, carrying a page full of lopsided circles that had never looked more perfect...

Keep Reading

I Came Home With a Baby—and Lost Myself

In: Motherhood
Mother holding baby looking sad

I don’t think people truly believe me when I say I came back from the depths of hell after having my son. Birth is often portrayed as pure bliss. The moment a mother holds her baby and instantly falls in love. Life quickly returns to normal. Even in real life, new moms can look like they’ve settled into motherhood with ease. But what no one talks about is the ugly, incredibly hard side of it. Not every mom experiences postpartum depression, anxiety, or OCD. For some, it really is bliss. But for many of us, it becomes a fight for...

Keep Reading

He Doesn’t Always Need Me Anymore and I’m Not Sure How To Feel About It

In: Motherhood
Little boy playing with toys on the floor alone

There is a moment nobody warns you about. Not the sleepless nights. Not the feeding schedules. Not the endless cycle of laundry and worry that comes with keeping a tiny human alive. Those parts everyone mentions. The part nobody mentions is the moment you realize your child has started becoming his own person. And you are standing there watching it happen, equal parts proud and completely unprepared. My son is two years old. And lately he has been leaving the room. Not in a concerning way. In a he has somewhere to be kind of way. He will be in...

Keep Reading

We Keep Calling Her Confident, But She Doesn’t Trust Herself

In: Motherhood
Smiling young woman

I remember the exact moment it hit me. I was talking to a young girl, the kind everyone praises. She was polite, well spoken, respectful. The kind of girl people point to and say, “She’s so confident.” So I asked her a question I knew would reveal more than her smile ever could: “What do you do when something doesn’t feel right?” She froze. Not in a dramatic way, but in a quiet, almost invisible way. She looked down, shifted her weight, then looked back up at me, searching my face like the answer might be written there. Because she...

Keep Reading

I Knew Something Was Wrong, But No One Listened—And It Almost Cost Me My Daughter

In: Motherhood
Woman holding baby's head in hands

After the traumatic birth of my daughter, I searched for others who had experienced vasa previa, but most of what I found were support groups for stillbirth. It’s easy to understand why; vasa previa is one of the most preventable causes of stillbirth, and yet most people, including most pregnant women, have never heard of it. My daughter is almost three years old, and I still carry a complicated guilt about that: why did we get to be the lucky ones? I want to share my story—not to frighten you, but because awareness is the only thing that saves lives...

Keep Reading

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

In: Motherhood
Mother and child silhouette

For most of my life, I believed becoming a stay-at-home mom wasn’t just a choice, it was the ultimate goal. The kind of life a “good” woman was meant to want. The kind of life that meant you were doing things right. I grew up surrounded by that message. In conservative spaces, in church circles, in subtle conversations about what a “real” mother looked like. Women who stayed home were praised. Women who didn’t were quietly questioned. I learned, without ever being directly told, that a mother’s highest purpose was to center her entire world around her children and her...

Keep Reading

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

In: Motherhood, Teen
Teenager on phone

I was not prepared to be a mother of teenagers. Sure, I was warned by other parents about the difficult journey I was about to embark on, but I did not expect it to be this challenging. I remember these two sweet, innocent children who wanted to be with me all the time. Now they barely give me the time of day. How did we get here? Like many parents, we long to have that child who once, a long time ago, called us Mommy and Daddy and begged us to read them another story. Where are those kids I...

Keep Reading

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman standing over water

Praying for My Son Send a storm to stop him; Let his friends throw him out. May he drop to the deeps, But gently, please, Stubborn though he may be. If it could only take three days, How my mother’s heart would Rejoice in praise.  From the hell you allow him, Let him cry to you. Is not Nineveh and mercy Exactly what he knows He needs— A mercy on enemies He fears You will concede? Please let all the shade wither If his is an angry soul; Humble him and help him follow Where you would have his purpose...

Keep Reading