One day I will look you in the eye and tell you the honest truth.
I’ll let you in on a little secret.
Want to know?
I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.
That’s right, none.
I had you, a baby, A BABY, a massive responsibility, you completely trusted me and I didn’t have a clue.
I was scared to leave the hospital because I felt you were in better care with the nurses and midwives.
I thought that you deserved better care.
In our first week together, I looked down at you while changing your diaper and I swear your furrowed brow expression said, “What ARE you doing woman?”
I whispered to you with tears in my eyes, “I’m so sorry, bear with me, I’m new to this.”
When you were in my swollen belly I went to classes, I read all the books, I even watched birthing videos, sometimes back-to-back (please don’t do this).
But nothing prepares you for this and people will tell you that, but you’ll think it’s cliché as you hear it so often.
But it’s true, and one day I’ll tell you this, too.
But I’ll also tell you this:
Let your sweet baby teach you as much as possible.
The truth is, you helped me to trust myself, be confident, to love beyond measure, be vulnerable, to defend without question, to ache and heal all at once.
You taught me to be strong. I knew better than anyone after all because you guided me along the way.
So I’ll tell you this,
If you’re afraid of the unknown of parenthood, remember to let yourself be shown.
By someone much younger than you.
Someone you haven’t met yet.
Just as you showed me.
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